Why is there such a difference in advice in this forum vs. tweens/teens?

[Anonymous]

It's pretty clear that most parents posting here are well away of what it takes to get into even a T100 university these days: high unweighted GPA, great standardized test scores, leadership EC's, etc. But the prevailing feeling in the other forum seems to be, "Let your kids have fun and be themselves, and they'll land where they land." Is this just a self-selecting group of posters, or is something else going on?

[Anonymous]

Both concepts can be true. If you want kids to go to T100 schools, you have to do those things, but some parents think it’s not worth the effort and their kids will land where they land.

[Anonymous]

I’d say two things:

1. Yes, self-selecting forum. There is a core group of posters who are very focused (fixated?) on the top, top colleges and prestige. For some it is their hobby (special interest?)

2. Parents of 13 year olds may not be tuned in to how competitive current college admissions is. Once their kid is 16/17, they may shift a hit.

Bonus reason: current college students are part of a micro baby boom. Things like registration for preschool, summer camp, soccer team, Brownie troops, etc, have been super competitive (or at least first come, first serve = set your alarm and log in at 7:00am on the dot) their whole lives. So parents of 17-23 year olds are primed to feel scarcity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d say two things:

1. Yes, self-selecting forum. There is a core group of posters who are very focused (fixated?) on the top, top colleges and prestige. For some it is their hobby (special interest?)

2. Parents of 13 year olds may not be tuned in to how competitive current college admissions is. Once their kid is 16/17, they may shift a hit.

Bonus reason: current college students are part of a micro baby boom. Things like registration for preschool, summer camp, soccer team, Brownie troops, etc, have been super competitive (or at least first come, first serve = set your alarm and log in at 7:00am on the dot) their whole lives. So parents of 17-23 year olds are primed to feel scarcity.

Your third point is interesting, given there’s a prediction of a “baby bust” coming, as apparently a decrease in births occurred after the 2008 financial crisis. My ds is part of that cohort (he’s a 2010 baby), so we’ll see if there’s a shift for their class when college application time hits.

[Anonymous]

This board is a stress echo chamber because an unusually high percentage of posters here are chasing spots (for their kids) at the same 50 or so schools. The reality is, though, that the vast majority of schools accept the vast majority of applicants--something that's true even of many so-called T100 schools, e.g., Rutgers (#40, 66% acceptance rate per current USNWR), Virginia Tech (#47, 57%), UMN (#53, 75%), Michigan State (#60, 88%), etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This board is a stress echo chamber because an unusually high percentage of posters here are chasing spots (for their kids) at the same 50 or so schools. The reality is, though, that the vast majority of schools accept the vast majority of applicants--something that's true even of many so-called T100 schools, e.g., Rutgers (#40, 66% acceptance rate per current USNWR), Virginia Tech (#47, 57%), UMN (#53, 75%), Michigan State (#60, 88%), etc.

Did you fail math? 57% is not a "vast majority."

[Anonymous]

Lots of parents have kids who are aiming higher than top 100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents have kids who are aiming higher than top 100.

Meaning, top 25 or lower…

[Anonymous]

Where did you get Top 100? What it takes to get into Top 100 is a far cry different than what it takes to get to Top 20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where did you get Top 100? What it takes to get into Top 100 is a far cry different than what it takes to get to Top 20.

I was being generous based on the fact the tween/teen forum seems to be ok with no EC's and B averages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that most parents posting here are well away of what it takes to get into even a T100 university these days: high unweighted GPA, great standardized test scores, leadership EC's, etc. But the prevailing feeling in the other forum seems to be, "Let your kids have fun and be themselves, and they'll land where they land." Is this just a self-selecting group of posters, or is something else going on?

Those two statements are not contradictory!
My kids did what they wanted for sports or arts in elementary and middle school, 1-2 weekdays then it shifted to more once in 7th because there are after school no-cut sports or yoga at their school. They did a lot of splashing at the pool or sleepovers with friends in summer, or day camps they liked. One changed activities a ton and then one or two became the focus toward the end of middle and mostly stayed in high school. The other had a favorite from very early on and the commitment the organization required was 4 days a week starting in 6th grade/middle school, more as older.
They also read a lot, taught themselves different art or cooking things and just had fun on weekends and summer. No tutors, no kumon or whatever. No travel teams because there was no interest in that level of sport or those types.
So they did exactly as you say:spent middle school having fun and were themselves. That carried into high school. Both had freshman activities they dropped some time later, replaced by things they liked better. favorite subjects shifted a lot.
Both landed at top 10s not because they curated and aimed for it since middle, but because they followed their own interests and also happen to be very smart & were placed by teachers in the highest levels their whole schooling career.
Read MIT applying sideways which we never knew about until ours were in high school/applying to college: they can be themselves and land where they land! That is as it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say two things:

1. Yes, self-selecting forum. There is a core group of posters who are very focused (fixated?) on the top, top colleges and prestige. For some it is their hobby (special interest?)

2. Parents of 13 year olds may not be tuned in to how competitive current college admissions is. Once their kid is 16/17, they may shift a hit.

Bonus reason: current college students are part of a micro baby boom. Things like registration for preschool, summer camp, soccer team, Brownie troops, etc, have been super competitive (or at least first come, first serve = set your alarm and log in at 7:00am on the dot) their whole lives. So parents of 17-23 year olds are primed to feel scarcity.

Your third point is interesting, given there’s a prediction of a “baby bust” coming, as apparently a decrease in births occurred after the 2008 financial crisis. My ds is part of that cohort (he’s a 2010 baby), so we’ll see if there’s a shift for their class when college application time hits.

But is he a snowmageddon baby? Because I've experienced scarcity of spots locally because of that.

[Anonymous]

I am not DMV based on come ONLY to this sub-forum here....don't visit anything else.

There are a lot of ppl like that here.
Have 3 kids, one in college, one a senior and one a ways off.

[Anonymous]

Different kids. If you have a kid with effortless high test scores, straight As, numerous activities you come here. If you have a kid who’s struggling with life in middle school or high school, you go there. (Some of the kids will switch places over time, I’m sure.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that most parents posting here are well away of what it takes to get into even a T100 university these days: high unweighted GPA, great standardized test scores, leadership EC's, etc. But the prevailing feeling in the other forum seems to be, "Let your kids have fun and be themselves, and they'll land where they land." Is this just a self-selecting group of posters, or is something else going on?

Because tweens/early teens are in a different stage of life compared to those who are about to get into college.