First birthday party

Anonymous
My in laws keep asking about my baby’s first birthday party and the whole family (a ton of people) have already said they will be coming. I keep saying I’m not planning on doing anything big, just having family over and for some pictures and a cupcake, but my MIL has repeatedly asked for the theme, how many people will be there, what food there will be etc. I thinks it’s sweet she’s so excited but I don’t really come from a big birthday party family. Am I being a stick in the mud? What did everyone else do? My husband thinks his family is being ridiculous and just wants a small celebration but I feel bad because they’re traveling for it.
Anonymous
We celebrated with our immediate family only - me, my partner, and baby (plus big sister for DC2). All I wanted was a smash cake and to celebrate making it through our first year of parenthood. We also didn't have space for a party at our condo with DC1, it was winter, and I didn't feel like renting space for a first birthday party my daughter wouldn't remember. At that age, it really is much more about the parents and what you want. I would stick with the small celebration you want to do.
Anonymous
We just had some cupcakes with a handful of friends. One year olds don't know it's their birthday but they are happy to eat some cake.
Anonymous
You don’t need to do anything elaborate. But welcome the love, support and interest in celebrating. also, if someone like MIL is super interested, give them a job to do!
Anonymous
Ask your MIL to throw the party. Give some excuse, apartment too small, whatever.
Anonymous
You're having a party for your baby, not your in-laws. So throw the party you want your baby to have, not the party your in-laws want you to have.

You're a parent now - time to get good at setting boundaries. You and DH need to get on the same page and present a united front. "Inlaws, we're so glad you're excited about Baby. Here's what we're doing for her party - it'll be from 4-6om since that's when she's awake, we'll have takeout - either Chinese food or Indian - and share dessert. Baby will then go to bed around 6:30 which is her bedtime, but you're welcome to stay until 9, which is our bedtime."
Anonymous
How many people are coming? My ideal 1st birthday party would have been me, DH, and DC but we had a 2021 COVID baby that much of the extended family hadn't met yet and I was guilted into throwing a party for 50+ people. Of course DC was overwhelmed by the people/attention and cried for a good bit of it.

You need to decide if you are ok with that because your baby doesn't know it's his/her birthday anyway.
Anonymous
Your kid your rules. Tell your MIL you are keeping it small and to immediate family. Serve a nice lunch and cake.
Anonymous
We did a homemade cake and gifts and invited grandma. That was it. No friends, no theme, no decorations.
Anonymous
Can you have an outdoor party at a park where so many people won't be overwhelming? BTW be cognizant of the flood of toys that might be coming your way

Is your kid the first in your family?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Can you have an outdoor party at a park where so many people won't be overwhelming? BTW be cognizant of the flood of toys that might be coming your way

Is your kid the first in your family?


Yes the gifts are overwhelming even though we live in a row house and have told them repeatedly we don't need all the stuff and don't have room for it. And no, this is our first but the grandparent's fifth. They just love stuff and parties.
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