Breaking Up is Awful - Just a Vent

[Anonymous]

First break-up after divorce. Had dated for three years. I left.

I love him but there were too many red flags for me: his politics are questionable - believes some conspiracy theories, he is bad with money and hasn’t saved for retirement (he’s mid 50s), he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

Despite the above I do love and miss him. The pain is no joke. Just needed to throw that out into the universe.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing. You don’t need another train wreck. Just get very busy building your own life.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is. I still miss her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. You don’t need another train wreck. Just get very busy building your own life.

Thanks, PP. I’m trying to focus on me. I’m headed out of town next week. Hoping it doesn’t feel like a cloud is hanging over my head the entire time.

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP. Yes breakups do suck. Congratulate yourself on where you are in life, which is that you are able to accept this pain in lieu of the mistake you know you’d be making with someone like that. That says lot about your maturity and security in yourself and your life. Vent here anytime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. Yes breakups do suck. Congratulate yourself on where you are in life, which is that you are able to accept this pain in lieu of the mistake you know you’d be making with someone like that. That says lot about your maturity and security in yourself and your life. Vent here anytime.

This made me smile. Thank you, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First break-up after divorce. Had dated for three years. I left.

I love him but there were too many red flags for me: his politics are questionable - believes some conspiracy theories, he is bad with money and hasn’t saved for retirement (he’s mid 50s), he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

Despite the above I do love and miss him. The pain is no joke. Just needed to throw that out into the universe.

Why were you with a broke and irresponsible conspiracy theorist for three years if that's not your cup of tea? If you really loved him, you would've accepted him with his shortcomings. You just loved being with someone, which you can find again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. Yes breakups do suck. Congratulate yourself on where you are in life, which is that you are able to accept this pain in lieu of the mistake you know you’d be making with someone like that. That says lot about your maturity and security in yourself and your life. Vent here anytime.

This is so sweet but sadly reminded me of something similar a movie character said to her narcissistic son who left his GF who actually loved him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First break-up after divorce. Had dated for three years. I left.

I love him but there were too many red flags for me: his politics are questionable - believes some conspiracy theories, he is bad with money and hasn’t saved for retirement (he’s mid 50s), he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

Despite the above I do love and miss him. The pain is no joke. Just needed to throw that out into the universe.

Why were you with a broke and irresponsible conspiracy theorist for three years if that's not your cup of tea? If you really loved him, you would've accepted him with his shortcomings. You just loved being with someone, which you can find again.

Many of these issues didn’t become apparent until this year when we started to get really serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First break-up after divorce. Had dated for three years. I left.

I love him but there were too many red flags for me: his politics are questionable - believes some conspiracy theories, he is bad with money and hasn’t saved for retirement (he’s mid 50s), he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

Despite the above I do love and miss him. The pain is no joke. Just needed to throw that out into the universe.

Why were you with a broke and irresponsible conspiracy theorist for three years if that's not your cup of tea? If you really loved him, you would've accepted him with his shortcomings. You just loved being with someone, which you can find again.

Yep. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First break-up after divorce. Had dated for three years. I left.

I love him but there were too many red flags for me: his politics are questionable - believes some conspiracy theories, he is bad with money and hasn’t saved for retirement (he’s mid 50s), he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

Despite the above I do love and miss him. The pain is no joke. Just needed to throw that out into the universe.

Why were you with a broke and irresponsible conspiracy theorist for three years if that's not your cup of tea? If you really loved him, you would've accepted him with his shortcomings. You just loved being with someone, which you can find again.

Many of these issues didn’t become apparent until this year when we started to get really serious.

Yep. Men hide their truths for as long as they think they can get laid, but the upcoming election is bringing out the hard facts about some of y'all, and it's ugly.

As for the bit about "if you really loved him, you would've accepted him with his shortcomings", listen: shortcomings are minor little details, like not putting the toilet seat down. Being a conspiracy theorist is a character defect, and lying (incl. lies of omission) to hide it is worse.

Not everyone you love is lovable. Sad, but true.

Better luck next time, OP. Given the state of things, you'll need it!

[Anonymous]

Yessss. I miss him almost every day.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could call you...

[Anonymous]

That sucks. Best way to get over it is to heal, take time for yourself, delete texts/pics/number etc so you don't make a booty call and get right back to where you started. Go no contact.

And now before spending years with someone before getting serious, have the important conversations first!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could call you...

What would you say to me that you haven’t already said?