Being awkward and shy

[Anonymous]

I am a fundamentally awkward, introverted person who is NOT comfortable interacting with people much. I've accepted it. I can fake for a very small amount of time, and do okay if talking with a very warm, outgoing person. The issue is I am facing weeks upon weeks of sitting for several hours in a row with people for kid sports. One of these people is dd's boyfriend's mom (they are doing the same sport). We have never met, and I don't doubt she is very nice, but it sounds like she is somewhat like me according to dd.How do I overcome this? I would like to go see my dd, but at the same time, I am really dreading interaction.

[Anonymous]

Talk for a short time the first day. When you reach a break or pause in the conversation, say "I hope you don't think it's terribly rude, but I use these practices/games to catch up on podcasts. Do you mind if I put my headphones in?" No sane person will turn you down. Then you have the perfect excuse moving forward. "Good to catch up, time for my podcast!" You don't even have to listen to anything, can just put your headphones in and focus on the game, the scenery, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk for a short time the first day. When you reach a break or pause in the conversation, say "I hope you don't think it's terribly rude, but I use these practices/games to catch up on podcasts. Do you mind if I put my headphones in?" No sane person will turn you down. Then you have the perfect excuse moving forward. "Good to catch up, time for my podcast!" You don't even have to listen to anything, can just put your headphones in and focus on the game, the scenery, whatever.

This would be weird and may be seen as rude. Just chat in the beginning (say Hi, etc) and let things die down normally as you both watch the sport.

[Anonymous]

I am the same. I sometimes chat with people and try not to be unfriendly but usually just sit there. Other people around me talk and several of them act like people who haven’t seen each other since childhood… except this is every single week or twice a week. It’s weird imo but different strokes. Anyway, you have to be fine just sitting quietly. Which I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the same. I sometimes chat with people and try not to be unfriendly but usually just sit there. Other people around me talk and several of them act like people who haven’t seen each other since childhood… except this is every single week or twice a week. It’s weird imo but different strokes. Anyway, you have to be fine just sitting quietly. Which I am.

I wish I felt fine. It makes me feel like I am breaking social norms! Idk how to explain it, I feel extra awkward and rude and antisocial not coming up with things to say, but when I do chat, I feel just as awkward as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the same. I sometimes chat with people and try not to be unfriendly but usually just sit there. Other people around me talk and several of them act like people who haven’t seen each other since childhood… except this is every single week or twice a week. It’s weird imo but different strokes. Anyway, you have to be fine just sitting quietly. Which I am.

I wish I felt fine. It makes me feel like I am breaking social norms! Idk how to explain it, I feel extra awkward and rude and antisocial not coming up with things to say, but when I do chat, I feel just as awkward as well.

Oh, I don’t FEEL fine. But I am very frequently awkward and weird in other areas, so why wouldn’t I be at kids sports? So I just accept it and move on. Remember that these people don’t have to be your friends, they are just fellow parents. A lot of people are not secure enough to recognize and accept that imo, so they fake chat and dramatize so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the same. I sometimes chat with people and try not to be unfriendly but usually just sit there. Other people around me talk and several of them act like people who haven’t seen each other since childhood… except this is every single week or twice a week. It’s weird imo but different strokes. Anyway, you have to be fine just sitting quietly. Which I am.

I wish I felt fine. It makes me feel like I am breaking social norms! Idk how to explain it, I feel extra awkward and rude and antisocial not coming up with things to say, but when I do chat, I feel just as awkward as well.

Oh, I don’t FEEL fine. But I am very frequently awkward and weird in other areas, so why wouldn’t I be at kids sports? So I just accept it and move on. Remember that these people don’t have to be your friends, they are just fellow parents. A lot of people are not secure enough to recognize and accept that imo, so they fake chat and dramatize so much.

I think I'd feel better if it were not for dd's boyfriend's mom. I cannot predict the future and the likelihood of this is of course very very low, but they get along so well it would not be out of the question for them to be "high school sweethearts", so it's very very important to me we be okay with each other. It just seems like a bad situation to be thrown in, like too much time!

[Anonymous]

Try making it about the person you're meeting and not about you. Ask questions that are open ended and follow up on what you are told with more specific questions (don't get too personal tho!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the same. I sometimes chat with people and try not to be unfriendly but usually just sit there. Other people around me talk and several of them act like people who haven’t seen each other since childhood… except this is every single week or twice a week. It’s weird imo but different strokes. Anyway, you have to be fine just sitting quietly. Which I am.

I wish I felt fine. It makes me feel like I am breaking social norms! Idk how to explain it, I feel extra awkward and rude and antisocial not coming up with things to say, but when I do chat, I feel just as awkward as well.

Oh, I don’t FEEL fine. But I am very frequently awkward and weird in other areas, so why wouldn’t I be at kids sports? So I just accept it and move on. Remember that these people don’t have to be your friends, they are just fellow parents. A lot of people are not secure enough to recognize and accept that imo, so they fake chat and dramatize so much.

I think I'd feel better if it were not for dd's boyfriend's mom. I cannot predict the future and the likelihood of this is of course very very low, but they get along so well it would not be out of the question for them to be "high school sweethearts", so it's very very important to me we be okay with each other. It just seems like a bad situation to be thrown in, like too much time!

If the other mom is like you, she probably won’t want to chat the whole time anyway, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try making it about the person you're meeting and not about you. Ask questions that are open ended and follow up on what you are told with more specific questions (don't get too personal tho!)

I would never make it about me because I am not chatty like that! I do ask some questions, but I feel like I intrude asking anything tbh. Anything can be a loaded question. I don't love asking things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try making it about the person you're meeting and not about you. Ask questions that are open ended and follow up on what you are told with more specific questions (don't get too personal tho!)

I would never make it about me because I am not chatty like that! I do ask some questions, but I feel like I intrude asking anything tbh. Anything can be a loaded question. I don't love asking things.

You need to improve your listening skills then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try making it about the person you're meeting and not about you. Ask questions that are open ended and follow up on what you are told with more specific questions (don't get too personal tho!)

I would never make it about me because I am not chatty like that! I do ask some questions, but I feel like I intrude asking anything tbh. Anything can be a loaded question. I don't love asking things.

You are making it all about you.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound like a narcissist. Why do you think this whole interaction is going to be centered on YOU? Take a massive step back and just say hi and move on.

[Anonymous]

If there is a crowd of parents and you are not close with the other mom, I would not think you would be expected to sit next to her every time you are watching the sport. Maybe have a short conversation once in a while, smile, be friendly, say hi, that’s it! I think it will be fine, just try not to stress about it too much!

[Anonymous]

Just bring a book. I mean, I wouldn't watch a kid's sport unless it's a big game anyway, but bring a book and read, and every so often look up and cheer when everyone else does.