Teen boy who is popular and well-liked but not part of a pack?

[Anonymous]

I’m observing that most teen HS boys have a pack of 3-5 friends. My son has a lot of friends across different cliques and groups but doesn’t seem to have a pack, just several close friends who all belong to different packs.

Should I worry that he doesn’t have a pack?

[Anonymous]

No. It's better this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m observing that most teen HS boys have a pack of 3-5 friends. My son has a lot of friends across different cliques and groups but doesn’t seem to have a pack, just several close friends who all belong to different packs.

Should I worry that he doesn’t have a pack?

Yes make sure he has a pack boo

[Anonymous]

What would you do with this worry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m observing that most teen HS boys have a pack of 3-5 friends. My son has a lot of friends across different cliques and groups but doesn’t seem to have a pack, just several close friends who all belong to different packs.

Should I worry that he doesn’t have a pack?

Why would you want to?

[Anonymous]

Mines the same way.

[Anonymous]

Go pack or go home

[Anonymous]

Your son has a lot of friends in different groups so is accepted by many and open to different types of people… seems like a great young man. Why try to find things to worry about?

[Anonymous]

So you want his friends to be exclusive to him? That's very territorial and rigid.

[Anonymous]

This is such a weird post. How would you fix this? Answer: you can't. So no, you shouldn't worry.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure I agree with your observation/premise. How are you making this determination that teenage boys have some home “pack“ if your kid doesn’t have one? It sounds like your kid is happy, has plenty of friends, and a lot of social home bases (Which is good, if things get dicey with one person there’s always another place they can go.) It sounds a lot like my kid, and from what I can tell every single one of his friends. I think you’re good.

[Anonymous]

He's a connector. It's a brilliant gift. People like him end up as CEOs, Senators, etc.

[Anonymous]

Nothing to worry about. Have you asked him what he thinks about his social connections?

My daughter has an established friend “group” but her best friend actually is someone like your son. She has lots of friends in different groups. She says she likes it that way bc you get invites to lots of different parties, and also you have a genuine connection with each friend. Vs in a big friend group like my daughters there are always people in the group you end up hanging out with a bunch but who you wouldn’t normally, and aren’t your favorite.

Plus friend groups tend to have drama. Maybe this is less with all boy groups though.

[Anonymous]

Are you worried because he has friends but they aren’t close enough to do things outside of school? Or literally that he doesn’t have a guy group that does things as a unit all the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you want his friends to be exclusive to him? That's very territorial and rigid.

Yeah this is the downside of these groups. Like I said in my
Pp - My daughter is in an established group, it’s nice in that she always has something to do and an assumed invite to “the group” activities, but she does seek out more regularly as hanging out with the same people gets boring. Some kids in her friend group DO get all weird and territorial. Many are also not open to new friendships like she is, which is really irritating to her bc they will complain if someone new gets invited.

Also makes it hard to date - when she didn’t have a friend group she said she had a much easier time with that.