The mental side of major weight loss

[Anonymous]

Just musing to myself about this but would like to chat with others who have went through this or who are going through it.

I have been overweight since about age 10. I have lost 60 pounds in the last year but still need to lose another 40-60.

This is the least I have weighed since college and it has been a very very slow process. I made major lifestyle changes but still have only lost 20 pounds in the past five months. I know that one pound a week is considered sustainable but it is so very hard to be patient.

I also think I have some body dysmorphia as I can barely tell the difference between how I look now and how I looked 60 pounds heavier. Sometimes I get so frustrated at being so unhappy with how I look as it feels like I have done all of this for nothing. Though I really did it for health reasons and all of my health indicators have shown dramatic improvements. But the superficial can still get to me.

The positives - much less stress now about will I fit on things, will people immediately see my weight ahead of anything else. Much less crippling guilt about the way I treat my body.

I don't really have questions, just wanted to talk to other people going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just musing to myself about this but would like to chat with others who have went through this or who are going through it.

I have been overweight since about age 10. I have lost 60 pounds in the last year but still need to lose another 40-60.

This is the least I have weighed since college and it has been a very very slow process. I made major lifestyle changes but still have only lost 20 pounds in the past five months. I know that one pound a week is considered sustainable but it is so very hard to be patient.

I also think I have some body dysmorphia as I can barely tell the difference between how I look now and how I looked 60 pounds heavier. Sometimes I get so frustrated at being so unhappy with how I look as it feels like I have done all of this for nothing. Though I really did it for health reasons and all of my health indicators have shown dramatic improvements. But the superficial can still get to me.

The positives - much less stress now about will I fit on things, will people immediately see my weight ahead of anything else. Much less crippling guilt about the way I treat my body.

I don't really have questions, just wanted to talk to other people going through this.

It’s a rough road. I’ve lost about 150lbs over the last 4-5 years. The mind tricks and the mental stress weights on you. The body dysmorphia…I almost regret losing the weight. All the extra skin. The biggest thing is realizing how many life decisions I made because of my weight. Jobs I didn’t go for, schools I didn’t apply to, pictures I didn’t take with my kids and family (that’s a big one). So much regret. I think if I never would’ve lost of weight, these realities would have never been apparent to me. I want to go back to that time. I’ve traded in one obsession (always thinking about food) for another one (weighing myself 3-4 times a day) in trying to make sure I don’t regain.


Then the hate and disdain you have for people. You realize how invisible you were and now being seen, getting attention for the weight loss. People saying “Oh you look so great!” Hell, I though I looked great before.

Again, it’s a tough road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just musing to myself about this but would like to chat with others who have went through this or who are going through it.

I have been overweight since about age 10. I have lost 60 pounds in the last year but still need to lose another 40-60.

This is the least I have weighed since college and it has been a very very slow process. I made major lifestyle changes but still have only lost 20 pounds in the past five months. I know that one pound a week is considered sustainable but it is so very hard to be patient.

I also think I have some body dysmorphia as I can barely tell the difference between how I look now and how I looked 60 pounds heavier. Sometimes I get so frustrated at being so unhappy with how I look as it feels like I have done all of this for nothing. Though I really did it for health reasons and all of my health indicators have shown dramatic improvements. But the superficial can still get to me.

The positives - much less stress now about will I fit on things, will people immediately see my weight ahead of anything else. Much less crippling guilt about the way I treat my body.

I don't really have questions, just wanted to talk to other people going through this.

It’s a rough road. I’ve lost about 150lbs over the last 4-5 years. The mind tricks and the mental stress weights on you. The body dysmorphia…I almost regret losing the weight. All the extra skin. The biggest thing is realizing how many life decisions I made because of my weight. Jobs I didn’t go for, schools I didn’t apply to, pictures I didn’t take with my kids and family (that’s a big one). So much regret. I think if I never would’ve lost of weight, these realities would have never been apparent to me. I want to go back to that time. I’ve traded in one obsession (always thinking about food) for another one (weighing myself 3-4 times a day) in trying to make sure I don’t regain.


Then the hate and disdain you have for people. You realize how invisible you were and now being seen, getting attention for the weight loss. People saying “Oh you look so great!” Hell, I though I looked great before.

Again, it’s a tough road.

DP. PP, I'm sorry you're so discouraged. But maybe it will help to consider the health gains, which you didn't mention, and which are amazing even if you're dealing with other crap about trading obsessions (eating vs. the scales) or worrying about how other people see you (invisible vs. attention). And honestly, when you consider the two tradeoffs you listed, don't you still think you're still better off on both counts?

[Anonymous]

Ive lost 50 lbs and just looking at myself, I dont feel like I look any different. The only way I notice it is if I wear my old clothes that hang off me. I've had to buy new clothes, which is kind of nice, but kind of stressful! Now I feel like I dont have anything that fits or looks flattering.

I totally get what pp means about avoiding things due to weight. I would avoid going to get togethers with people I hadnt seen in a while (HS/college friends) because I didnt want them to see how fat I was. I punished myself alot of being overweight and was not very nice to myself. So learning to undo that is difficult.

[Anonymous]

And yes - omg the pictures! I think I have a handful of pictures of myself from the past 10 years. So sad that I missed out on that.

[Anonymous]

Are you married or dating? Are you a woman? Losing a significant amount of weight made me realize that the only that matters in finding a romantic partner is being attractive. Personality, intellect, accomplishments, and values have very little importance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you married or dating? Are you a woman? Losing a significant amount of weight made me realize that the only that matters in finding a romantic partner is being attractive. Personality, intellect, accomplishments, and values have very little importance.

There's always this weird and wrong notion that attractive people don't also have great personalities, intellect and accomplishments, which matter when finding a romantic partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yes - omg the pictures! I think I have a handful of pictures of myself from the past 10 years. So sad that I missed out on that.

Same. I’m a single mom and have tons of photos of my kid but very few of us. Makes me sad - definitely taking more photos now

[Anonymous]

It's so hard. I was skinny most of my life and then started psych meds, that I need, in my mid 30s. I've tried all of them. They all make me gain weight. Over 15 yrs or so I gained about 90lbs.

I've lost most of it twice, on WW. It was horrible. About a year and a half of counting points and obsessing over everything that went into my mouth and then feeling like my whole world was riding on that scale each week at weigh in. I got down to a normal BMI from an obese one each time. Each time my life revolved around obsessing about food every single day and it was exhausting. I think about what I could have accomplished had I put that much energy and focus into something else. Each time I gained it all back right after I quit obsessively counting points.

I'm now on Wegovy and losing again. I've been on it about 14 wks, and have lost about 22lbs, which is 10 percent of my starting body weight. Because of what I went through before, I am so glad I don't have to restrict, count, and obsess over good/bad foods. I just take the medication, make an effort to eat healthy with plenty of protein and fiber, and the weight comes off (about 1.5 lbs a week, so a little slower than on WW, but not by much). It sure isn't a walk in the park though -- the side effects, especially fatigue, have been bad enough I've considered going off it. I was so tired I was worried I wouldn't be able to do my job. I've also had stomach pain, diarrhea, constipation, blurry vision, bad dreams and sleep problems, and some depression. It's been better the last couple of weeks, so I'm sticking with it. I'm still on a relatively low dose because it works and I have side effects. It's rough, tbh. Not the magic pill everyone thinks it is.

So yeah, major weight loss is very difficult. And I have all kinds of mixed feelings about it. From what I've learned over the years with this is that no matter what -- my weight is never going to be an easy thing to think about or deal with.

I understand your frustration with how you look. In my experience, I am not more comfortable with my looks until I get down into a "normal" bmi. And from an obese one, that takes a lot of time and weight loss.

Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you married or dating? Are you a woman? Losing a significant amount of weight made me realize that the only that matters in finding a romantic partner is being attractive. Personality, intellect, accomplishments, and values have very little importance.

There's always this weird and wrong notion that attractive people don't also have great personalities, intellect and accomplishments, which matter when finding a romantic partner.

No say that they didn’t except for you hun. Don’t worry, I’m sure that you are just a slim, beautiful, and intelligent as you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just musing to myself about this but would like to chat with others who have went through this or who are going through it.

I have been overweight since about age 10. I have lost 60 pounds in the last year but still need to lose another 40-60.

This is the least I have weighed since college and it has been a very very slow process. I made major lifestyle changes but still have only lost 20 pounds in the past five months. I know that one pound a week is considered sustainable but it is so very hard to be patient.

I also think I have some body dysmorphia as I can barely tell the difference between how I look now and how I looked 60 pounds heavier. Sometimes I get so frustrated at being so unhappy with how I look as it feels like I have done all of this for nothing. Though I really did it for health reasons and all of my health indicators have shown dramatic improvements. But the superficial can still get to me.

The positives - much less stress now about will I fit on things, will people immediately see my weight ahead of anything else. Much less crippling guilt about the way I treat my body.

I don't really have questions, just wanted to talk to other people going through this.

It’s a rough road. I’ve lost about 150lbs over the last 4-5 years. The mind tricks and the mental stress weights on you. The body dysmorphia…I almost regret losing the weight. All the extra skin. The biggest thing is realizing how many life decisions I made because of my weight. Jobs I didn’t go for, schools I didn’t apply to, pictures I didn’t take with my kids and family (that’s a big one). So much regret. I think if I never would’ve lost of weight, these realities would have never been apparent to me. I want to go back to that time. I’ve traded in one obsession (always thinking about food) for another one (weighing myself 3-4 times a day) in trying to make sure I don’t regain.


Then the hate and disdain you have for people. You realize how invisible you were and now being seen, getting attention for the weight loss. People saying “Oh you look so great!” Hell, I though I looked great before.

Again, it’s a tough road.

You’ve done an amazing job losing weight, maybe you should talk to a therapist to work on being a little less hard on yourself, and to help you focus less on the scale?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you married or dating? Are you a woman? Losing a significant amount of weight made me realize that the only that matters in finding a romantic partner is being attractive. Personality, intellect, accomplishments, and values have very little importance.

Yikes! Not true at all. I met my husband at my least attractive. I’m sad you think this. I think if you look around in the world there are a whole lot of people who have romantic relationships not just based on looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so hard. I was skinny most of my life and then started psych meds, that I need, in my mid 30s. I've tried all of them. They all make me gain weight. Over 15 yrs or so I gained about 90lbs.

I've lost most of it twice, on WW. It was horrible. About a year and a half of counting points and obsessing over everything that went into my mouth and then feeling like my whole world was riding on that scale each week at weigh in. I got down to a normal BMI from an obese one each time. Each time my life revolved around obsessing about food every single day and it was exhausting. I think about what I could have accomplished had I put that much energy and focus into something else. Each time I gained it all back right after I quit obsessively counting points.

I'm now on Wegovy and losing again. I've been on it about 14 wks, and have lost about 22lbs, which is 10 percent of my starting body weight. Because of what I went through before, I am so glad I don't have to restrict, count, and obsess over good/bad foods. I just take the medication, make an effort to eat healthy with plenty of protein and fiber, and the weight comes off (about 1.5 lbs a week, so a little slower than on WW, but not by much). It sure isn't a walk in the park though -- the side effects, especially fatigue, have been bad enough I've considered going off it. I was so tired I was worried I wouldn't be able to do my job. I've also had stomach pain, diarrhea, constipation, blurry vision, bad dreams and sleep problems, and some depression. It's been better the last couple of weeks, so I'm sticking with it. I'm still on a relatively low dose because it works and I have side effects. It's rough, tbh. Not the magic pill everyone thinks it is.

So yeah, major weight loss is very difficult. And I have all kinds of mixed feelings about it. From what I've learned over the years with this is that no matter what -- my weight is never going to be an easy thing to think about or deal with.

I understand your frustration with how you look. In my experience, I am not more comfortable with my looks until I get down into a "normal" bmi. And from an obese one, that takes a lot of time and weight loss.

Best of luck to you.

I could have written this, PP - including the WW/Wegovy details. I feel much like you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so hard. I was skinny most of my life and then started psych meds, that I need, in my mid 30s. I've tried all of them. They all make me gain weight. Over 15 yrs or so I gained about 90lbs.

I've lost most of it twice, on WW. It was horrible. About a year and a half of counting points and obsessing over everything that went into my mouth and then feeling like my whole world was riding on that scale each week at weigh in. I got down to a normal BMI from an obese one each time. Each time my life revolved around obsessing about food every single day and it was exhausting. I think about what I could have accomplished had I put that much energy and focus into something else. Each time I gained it all back right after I quit obsessively counting points.

I'm now on Wegovy and losing again. I've been on it about 14 wks, and have lost about 22lbs, which is 10 percent of my starting body weight. Because of what I went through before, I am so glad I don't have to restrict, count, and obsess over good/bad foods. I just take the medication, make an effort to eat healthy with plenty of protein and fiber, and the weight comes off (about 1.5 lbs a week, so a little slower than on WW, but not by much). It sure isn't a walk in the park though -- the side effects, especially fatigue, have been bad enough I've considered going off it. I was so tired I was worried I wouldn't be able to do my job. I've also had stomach pain, diarrhea, constipation, blurry vision, bad dreams and sleep problems, and some depression. It's been better the last couple of weeks, so I'm sticking with it. I'm still on a relatively low dose because it works and I have side effects. It's rough, tbh. Not the magic pill everyone thinks it is.

So yeah, major weight loss is very difficult. And I have all kinds of mixed feelings about it. From what I've learned over the years with this is that no matter what -- my weight is never going to be an easy thing to think about or deal with.

I understand your frustration with how you look. In my experience, I am not more comfortable with my looks until I get down into a "normal" bmi. And from an obese one, that takes a lot of time and weight loss.

Best of luck to you.

I could have written this, PP - including the WW/Wegovy details. I feel much like you do.

Me, too. I guess there are 3 of us with this same story. Original PP, take heart - I just hit week 20 or so on Wegovy 1.0 and my side effects have improved so much since i started that dose 8 weeks ago. Hang in there if you can! I had one week where I eased back to 0.5 because I couldn't stand it, and that helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just musing to myself about this but would like to chat with others who have went through this or who are going through it.

I have been overweight since about age 10. I have lost 60 pounds in the last year but still need to lose another 40-60.

This is the least I have weighed since college and it has been a very very slow process. I made major lifestyle changes but still have only lost 20 pounds in the past five months. I know that one pound a week is considered sustainable but it is so very hard to be patient.

I also think I have some body dysmorphia as I can barely tell the difference between how I look now and how I looked 60 pounds heavier. Sometimes I get so frustrated at being so unhappy with how I look as it feels like I have done all of this for nothing. Though I really did it for health reasons and all of my health indicators have shown dramatic improvements. But the superficial can still get to me.

The positives - much less stress now about will I fit on things, will people immediately see my weight ahead of anything else. Much less crippling guilt about the way I treat my body.

I don't really have questions, just wanted to talk to other people going through this.

It’s a rough road. I’ve lost about 150lbs over the last 4-5 years. The mind tricks and the mental stress weights on you. The body dysmorphia…I almost regret losing the weight. All the extra skin. The biggest thing is realizing how many life decisions I made because of my weight. Jobs I didn’t go for, schools I didn’t apply to, pictures I didn’t take with my kids and family (that’s a big one). So much regret. I think if I never would’ve lost of weight, these realities would have never been apparent to me. I want to go back to that time. I’ve traded in one obsession (always thinking about food) for another one (weighing myself 3-4 times a day) in trying to make sure I don’t regain.


Then the hate and disdain you have for people. You realize how invisible you were and now being seen, getting attention for the weight loss. People saying “Oh you look so great!” Hell, I though I looked great before.

Again, it’s a tough road.

The hate and disdain for people is real. I became the biggest misanthrope because of losing weight. It really bothers me how much my value changed (suddenly people were nice and friendly, how you suddenly become worthy of better treatment!). It was just appalling. I deeply hate people now.