Teacher Gifts

[Anonymous]

We are new to private school (public school converts), and both our kids will be starting at a new school in Sept.

For our kids previous teachers I would usually bring a small gift to meet the teacher and then do holiday and end of year gifts (usually a gift card along with something small and a note of thanks). Im not a Pinterest mom and am not saying that these gifts were anything beautiful, but I like being able to appreciate our teachers.

Is this similar in private school? Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

As a private school teacher, holiday and end of year gifts are normal and appreciated.
I don't think I or any of my colleagues have received a gift at the beginning of the year. Of course it would be appreciated but I don't think it is the norm.
And truly, a hand written card from the child really is the best gift.

[Anonymous]

It can really vary by school and age. At DC elementary school, the class parent collected money for a joint gift divided among the teaching team, with a portion going to specialty teachers (art, music). In middle school, collecting for a class gift was specifically not allowed, so DC made small gifts (bookmarks, a small ornament/suncatcher, etc) and wrote a short note to each teacher at the end of the year. Now in HS and DC just emailed notes to teachers at the end of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are new to private school (public school converts), and both our kids will be starting at a new school in Sept.

For our kids previous teachers I would usually bring a small gift to meet the teacher and then do holiday and end of year gifts (usually a gift card along with something small and a note of thanks). Im not a Pinterest mom and am not saying that these gifts were anything beautiful, but I like being able to appreciate our teachers.

Is this similar in private school? Any suggestions?

Which grade? This varies by grade and by school - but grade would help here.

We gave gifts to all teachers at the holidays and at end of year for k-8 and dc's wrote notes to teachers. In HS did nothing - we were told it wasn't allowed at the school. It's also hard to get a HS kid to write notes (and especially at their school, where teachers tended to be at arms length and less likely to build relationships). They did write TY emails in situations where a teacher wrote a recommendation (these aren't just college - recommendations were needed a few other times too).

Note - if you are coming from a public where most of the time is spent in homeroom, giving gifts to teachers in private for younger grades can sometimes add up to many teachers depending on how the school works. The students often have many specials teachers that they see several times a week (science, music, art, spanish, pe) and sometimes they have co-teachers in homeroom and a math/reading specialist to augment the homeroom teacher(s) for those subject times. Of course, middle school will have all these subject teachers as well...as will high school.

[Anonymous]

Teachers only want 2 things. We want respect and a dignified salary. Everything else is bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teachers only want 2 things. We want respect and a dignified salary. Everything else is bs.

You’re lovely.

I absolutely agree that teachers deserve far more respect (something parents can provide and should) and salary (something parents don’t control), but you’re the first teacher I’ve come across to call the appreciation efforts of students (thank you notes and handmade gifts) or parents (often actual money, even if not that much) “bs”.

But I suppose if you’re as kind and charismatic a teacher as you come across here, maybe you don’t receive many tokens of appreciation anyway.

[Anonymous]

We are not a charity case. In most othe4 societies we are respected as professionals. In america we are attacked by students and then given cheap dollar store gifts by their parents as a thanks for passing my kid along.

[Anonymous]

Yuck. Giving a gift at first meeting is tacky and completely inappropriate. It comes across as an ingratiation gift.

A small gift at Christmas is acceptable as a kind of thank you from your child/family. However, it should be $50 or less. Our school requests that parents abide by a $25 limit.

Larger gifts can be given at the end of the year after grades have been turned in. You don't want to give the impression that you are trying to bribe the teacher into giving your child a better grade by giving them an extravagant gift.

Teachers and admin talk, and you will be labeled as an inappropriate parent if you are giving large gifts before grades are turned in. They won't give the gifts back but they will talk about you.

[Anonymous]

A few of my students/parents brought little plants on meet the teacher day and I loved it!
Placing them around the room and watching them grow was a rewarding experience for all of us.
But.. a Starbucks gift card is also great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not a charity case. In most othe4 societies we are respected as professionals. In america we are attacked by students and then given cheap dollar store gifts by their parents as a thanks for passing my kid along.

Do you work at a DMV private or independent school PP? Are you speaking generally, or has this been your experience?

[Anonymous]

I teach at a private and would love any of the things mentioned here- plant, gift card, chocolate, etc. I once received potted basil from a family and it was great! I don't know why so many people are getting bent out of shape about this. It's a gesture of kindness and I'm sure it will be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not a charity case. In most othe4 societies we are respected as professionals. In america we are attacked by students and then given cheap dollar store gifts by their parents as a thanks for passing my kid along.

Do you work at a DMV private or independent school PP? Are you speaking generally, or has this been your experience?

I am not the poster who wrote this, but I am a teacher at a private independent school. We are not attacked by students (obviously) nor are we given dollar store junk.
In my school (middle school and high school), beginning of year gifts are not typical, but they would certainly be appreciated. Something like the student bringing in cookies or a treat from Starbucks and saying to the teacher "thank you for a great first week!" would be lovely.
And no, we do not speak negatively about families that give pricey gifts. Why would we? Grades are based on graded work, clearly seen in the gradebook, and it is a ridiculous assumption that this would be influenced by gifts.

[Anonymous]

The disgruntled pp here and on the other thread seems to be fairly unique in their disdain for shows of appreciation from parents and students, even taking offense at them. I think most teachers take thank you notes and gifts in the spirit in which they are given, which is to express gratitude and appreciation, not pity or charity.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher and am always uncomfortable with beginning of the year gifts. I haven't done anything for your child yet and it feels like a bribe.

But I will never turn down an extra ream of copy paper though

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher at a private school and I (and my colleagues) appreciate all gifts. I would assume that at any DC private school, schools supplies such as reams of paper, markers, etc. would not be needed as the school provides these. A set of nice pens might be the exception to this rule.
Some ideas for beginning of school year gifts:
Gift card to a coffee shop or cafe that you know is close to the school (so easy for the teacher to use before or after work).
Flowers in a vase, or a simple potted plant, and the teacher can keep them on their classroom desk.
A little "self care set" with hand cream, eye gels, etc.
Baked goods, teacher can take them home or share in the staff room.
Chocolates.
Maybe: A gift card for the website "Teachers Pay Teachers" (unless the school already has an account for teachers to use).
I think it's nicer for the student to present the gift in the morning or at break time, not in class. Of course we know it's from the parents and I would always send a thank you note to the parents, but it's a nice interaction with the kid, and the teacher then doesn't have to receive the gift in front of other families at back to school night.