dealing with severe road rage when stuck in traffice

[Anonymous]

I currently live in a moderate size town that seems to consist of bumper to bumper traffic through poorly timed lights or winding two-line state highways where drivers routinely go 20-30 under the speed limit. I have lived in Chicago and NYC, so I actually have quite a bit of tolerance toward aggressive drivers, but the constant slowness of people here give me a physical response: blood pressure spikes and literal sobbing. Over the past year, I've become so intolerant of other drivers that I am basically a shut-in unless I a) travel somewhere other than my home location or b) DH is around to drive. Yes, I am completely aware that people are entitled to drive as slow and hold up as much traffic as they wish and that this is my own problem.

I've tried therapy. It hasn't helped. Any other suggestions?

(We do not live in NoVa anymore, so please don't harp on me about exactly where this happening. I promise, I'm not exaggerating. I wish I was.)

[Anonymous]

That's interesting. When we moved from a capital city to a rural town, everyone in the family was relieved not to have to slalom in and out of traffic like F1 drivers. We relished the slower pace.

Anger is a reaction rooted in fear. Why do you think this situation makes you so afraid? Are you perhaps claustrophobic? Do you feel suffocated when stuck in a long line of slow-moving vehicles?

If this is a particular form of claustrophobia, you need to find a therapist that specializes in that particular condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's interesting. When we moved from a capital city to a rural town, everyone in the family was relieved not to have to slalom in and out of traffic like F1 drivers. We relished the slower pace.

Anger is a reaction rooted in fear. Why do you think this situation makes you so afraid? Are you perhaps claustrophobic? Do you feel suffocated when stuck in a long line of slow-moving vehicles?

If this is a particular form of claustrophobia, you need to find a therapist that specializes in that particular condition.

Oh, this is interesting. I do feel claustrophobic when I'm stuck in a line of traffic! But I don't have problems flying or caving, for whatever that's worth. I'm going to pursue this idea more, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Are you afraid of being late because of slowness?
Is that a big thing for you...lateness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's interesting. When we moved from a capital city to a rural town, everyone in the family was relieved not to have to slalom in and out of traffic like F1 drivers. We relished the slower pace.

Anger is a reaction rooted in fear. Why do you think this situation makes you so afraid? Are you perhaps claustrophobic? Do you feel suffocated when stuck in a long line of slow-moving vehicles?

If this is a particular form of claustrophobia, you need to find a therapist that specializes in that particular condition.

Oh, this is interesting. I do feel claustrophobic when I'm stuck in a line of traffic! But I don't have problems flying or caving, for whatever that's worth. I'm going to pursue this idea more, thanks.

PP you replied to. My Japanese cousin experiences such severe claustrophobia on planes that she cannot fly anymore. She has trouble with the metro as well, but is fine with trains, cars, elevators, etc. Her condition was triggered by a serious earthquake and aftershocks in her town.
You could absolutely feel this in traffic, but not in other enclosed spaces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you afraid of being late because of slowness?
Is that a big thing for you...lateness?

Hmm. Maybe? I'm always 10 minutes early (one of the those on time is late kind of people), and this kind of traffic does it make it difficult to predict drive times, especially on short trips with less duration flexibility. It's very stressful to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's interesting. When we moved from a capital city to a rural town, everyone in the family was relieved not to have to slalom in and out of traffic like F1 drivers. We relished the slower pace.

Anger is a reaction rooted in fear. Why do you think this situation makes you so afraid? Are you perhaps claustrophobic? Do you feel suffocated when stuck in a long line of slow-moving vehicles?

If this is a particular form of claustrophobia, you need to find a therapist that specializes in that particular condition.

Oh, this is interesting. I do feel claustrophobic when I'm stuck in a line of traffic! But I don't have problems flying or caving, for whatever that's worth. I'm going to pursue this idea more, thanks.

PP you replied to. My Japanese cousin experiences such severe claustrophobia on planes that she cannot fly anymore. She has trouble with the metro as well, but is fine with trains, cars, elevators, etc. Her condition was triggered by a serious earthquake and aftershocks in her town.
You could absolutely feel this in traffic, but not in other enclosed spaces.

Fwiw, I also don't feel it in a giant NYC traffic jam, say. But I think you might be on to something.

[Anonymous]

Can you try travel during non peak times so there is less bumper to bumper traffic (or slow pokes on the road) and then get where you are going early and sit in your car or a coffee shop and read/relax?

I’ll say I used to have a horrific commute in bumper to bumper traffic and I was profoundly unhappy. I moved closer to the office and now work from home. My life is so much better. I’d rather live in a shoe box and be able to walk places than have daily stress due to traffic. So this is a legit feeling. Is moving an option?

Otherwise you could also get some audio books or good podcasts to chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you try travel during non peak times so there is less bumper to bumper traffic (or slow pokes on the road) and then get where you are going early and sit in your car or a coffee shop and read/relax?

I’ll say I used to have a horrific commute in bumper to bumper traffic and I was profoundly unhappy. I moved closer to the office and now work from home. My life is so much better. I’d rather live in a shoe box and be able to walk places than have daily stress due to traffic. So this is a legit feeling. Is moving an option?

Otherwise you could also get some audio books or good podcasts to chill out.

Non-peak time is almost worse since I feel like that's when the slow pokes are out.

The only thing that helps is chatting with someone on the phone, but I don't have many friends, so that doesn't usually work out too well.

[Anonymous]

Get a mostly self driving car like a Tesla and stop paying close attention just put on an audiobook and zone out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a mostly self driving car like a Tesla and stop paying close attention just put on an audiobook and zone out

You know, this is temping. Overkill, perhaps, but tempting.