Friendship develops with ex-colleague

[Anonymous]

I stayed in contact with my former manager after he left our company. We got to know each other as friends, something that would not have happened if he had remained my manager. Anyway, my current colleagues have met up with this ex-colleague. I would be mortified if he shared the details of our conversations with them. Nothing embarrassing, it’s just that I had shared with him what I’d rather be doing than my current job. I also shared my spiritual side and dream job. I felt comfortable sharing with him. I hope he exercised discretion and did not divulge what I told him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. I haven’t talked to him since he’s met with my current colleagues. And if we do talk, I don’t want to ask him. I wish I hadn’t confided in him as I like to keep my personal and professional life separate.

[Anonymous]

If he’s a real friend he wouldn’t say anything. You have to decide if he’s a real friend because there’s nothing you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about this. There are reasons you are comfortable talking to and sharing information with him. He's in management position, so he's well aware of the confidentiality. He's not the type.

[Anonymous]

Those don't really sound like things that one would feel needed to be kept under a shroud of secrecy. When you meet up with colleagues it is common to talk about other colleagues and work as that is really all you have in common.

I don't think friendship means you never repeat anything anyone tells you. If they ask you to keep something private, then yes or if they share something that is clearly sensitive or painful or very personal - then yes. But mundane details that came up in conversation - those get shared with others.