Sandwich generation
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Anonymous
| Caring for parent and young one. Exhausted. Shout out to others doing the same. Deep breaths. I can do this. |
Anonymous
| I am currently paying most of my mom's bills, she's 70. OP, do you have anything going into it you would have done differently? |
Anonymous
Ours caught us by surprise for having to assist— thought had many more years before would happen so did not have any real plans before it all became real. That said, if had known, would have encouraged and helped with the declutter/Swedish death clean a lot sooner- so not just us guessing and to get the stories of some of the family photos and other things… thought had more time before those stories lost. From caregiver standpoint, not good at it but time for self told is key. |
Anonymous
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Solidarity and commiseration to you! I’m sandwiched and the only child of an elderly parent who lives halfway across the country, and I have a kid in elementary school. And I have a demanding job. Something has to give.
My dad was 35 when I was born and I was 40 when my child was born, so it was bound to work out this way. |
Anonymous
I am like you for 40 when first time parent. Trying to make as much $ as can now to set up paid health care as needed when older so child can visit only and not think need to take care. |
Anonymous
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I hear you all! I'm 53, I have a 9yo with autism and my 78 yr old mom, who is currently struggling with a new diabetes dx (this is scary, we literally are learning as we go). This is after the recent passing of my Dad, who had parkinsons. Oh, and I work full time and commute 2 hrs a day!
Thankfully Mom and Dad were prudent financially (modest, but will be fine). I live nearby, but am considering moving in (I'm divorced). I go there daily and don't have enough time to maintain two households. For example, just yesterday I was there and happened to go into a spare bedroom-to find the carpet wet! The ac unit in the hall closet next to it was overflowing. There went my day off-I got repair over and dried up the rug best I could. I'm off today also and can't even get out of bed, I might be a little depressed not sure. My one sibling lives far away and travels a lot for work and doesn't help much. Glad to vent here lol |
Anonymous
| Its hard. My youngest is in middle school and I'm constantly flying back and forth between DC and elderly parents 1000 miles away. Taking a leave of absence soon to better juggle and get some longer-term supports in place. Can't even imagine doing this with littles. Hugs and strength to all who are caring for loved ones on both ends of the age spectrum. |
Anonymous
| For us, the well parent died first. Very unexpectedly. All eyes had been on MIL, placing her in a nursing facility. It has made me rethink the axiom, if there had been a plan in place it would have mattered. |
Anonymous
Why can't they move closer to you? Do you have siblings that live closer to them? |
Anonymous
While not depressed (yet), beyond stressed and maxed out on patience and just when think a breather around the corner, like your AC unit, find something else. Cannot even remember what I did with “free” time. Taking time but learning to talk frankly with kids and parents when need break or emotionally gone. Do wonder at end of this how kids will view all of this. Biggest feeling have is tired and biggest emotion have is guilt when take breaks. |
Anonymous
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Only child here, with 1 preschooler, 2 elementary school kids and 1 middle schooler. And a 78 year old single mom with dementia an 8 hour drive away.
My DH recently said to me that I seem so stressed anymore, not so fun loving and happy like I used to be. Hmmmm, I wonder why? It seems the weight of the world is on my shoulders and everyone wants me all the time but no one cares to help me or nurture me. How will I survive this? |
Anonymous
| People shouldn’t live past 90 |
Anonymous
You need to learn how to outsorce these issues. Makes life much easier. There is no reason to exhaust yourself. Unless, of course, you are that person who enjoys feeling and bragging about how "needed" they are and how no one could possibly do what theynare doing, and how it's sooooo exhausting. |
Anonymous
You are 53...with a 9 year old...and divorced?! Who thought having a child at 44/45 was a brilliant idea? |
Anonymous
Does it bother you when you realize you're flinging criticism at strangers who are almost certainly nicer people than you? |