Friend with severe ADHD

[Anonymous]

I can only take so much of her. I really do like her but I can barely get a word in much less a full story or thought. It's so exhausting. Anyone else get it?

[Anonymous]

Lots of people run their mouth. What else is up with her that she has severe adhd? Or did she tell you that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people run their mouth. What else is up with her that she has severe adhd? Or did she tell you that?

She is very open about her diagnosis

[Anonymous]

What else about her adhd bothers you?

[Anonymous]

I know many people with ADHD including my husband and child. You can be a great friend and partner and have ADHD.

I have had two friendships flame out with women who had ADHD but it wasn't because they had ADHD. It's because they viewed their ADHD habits that were actually pretty burdensome to others as cute quirks to be praised for. One was a compulsive liar and the other wanted to blab everything I told her to everyone she knew. Not even talking about big secrets (I wouldn't have shared anything sensitive with her once I realized this) but like I could go to a baseball game with my husband on Tuesday and mention it in passing to her on Wednesday and by Thursday people I didn't even know would be walking up to me like "so I heard you and your husband were at the game on Tuesday here are several specific details from that event that our mutual friend shared with me last night." It was really weird.

ADHD is fine. DD with ADHD loves to talk and does it a lot and some people might find it annoying but she's developed good listening skills and knows how to tell a joke and a story so I think it's okay. DH gets into hyperfocus mode and you could tell him anything and he'd have no memory of it but a few hours later he'll be like "here is this complex dessert I just perfected would you like some."

But you can't let ADHD symptoms become weapons. ADHD can make your brain invent answers to questions that aren't really true. It can remove your filters that would normally tell you "hey that's not an apporpriate thing to talk about now." But if it does you have to find ways to address it because those are anti-social behaviors. You can't just be like [shrug] ADHD. It's not a get out of jail free card.

[Anonymous]

OP, please know that you are not alone. The monologues are very difficult to endure. I didn’t realize they were associated with ADHD, I figured it was attributed to a personality disorder. I have dealt with multiple people that do this and depending upon the person, partially ghosting them can trigger self-reflection on their end. Again, depending upon who you are dealing with. Best of luck to you.