Strong but small athlete

[Anonymous]

Hitting a competitive sports wall with DS because he’s small (has not started puberty) and increasingly seeing giant boys getting ahead because they are physically stronger (although not necessarily as skilled). We are worried he’s going to give up on playing the sport altogether despite loving it and having talent. Seems like more and more coaches prioritize the big boys and write off the little guys beginning around 13, certainly 14. This was not our experience with DD (also late to puberty/growth but very solid athlete) so just wondering if people have success stories of their small DS making it through 13/14 years in their sport, going on to find success in HS. What got them through the years of size imbalance? What sport did/do they play?

[Anonymous]

Yes, seeing this in baseball too. About to start 14u. The good news is that many of the kids who grew early will peak and the smaller kids will catch up. Lots of really good players didn’t make the HS team because they just need to grow.

[Anonymous]

If your kid has to be the best to want to play the sport, he’s going to hit “a wall” anyway. It’s very, very unlikely he’s a world talent at whatever it is. He’s playing for personal development and joy, or maaaaybe college money? Maybe. Possibly. Probably not.

So it doesn’t really matter if the other players have a puberty advantage because there will always be players with a talent advantage, a training advantage, etc etc.

[Anonymous]

I can’t tell from the ask — are you brainstorm for new sports for home to try where size doesn’t matter as much or asking for advice on how to handle being the wrong genetic shape for a sport he enjoys?

[Anonymous]

That's why you see Asian people gravitate towards golf, tennis, and now Pickleball (it is now an official HS varsity sport in Montgomery County in fall '24) because these sports require skills and mental toughness rather than physical brute force. FWIW, my DS is 5'7" and he plays golf at an ACC school.

[Anonymous]

Is he likely to stay small or is it just a late growth issue? Really, either way, he needs to decide if he enjoys playing enough to possibly get less playing time. If he likes practices and being on the team and is still having fun, stick with it.

[Anonymous]

It can also depend on the sport. Basketball it can start to matter, soccer can be an issue if he’s a goalie, swimming, the taller stronger swimmers may post better times, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hitting a competitive sports wall with DS because he’s small (has not started puberty) and increasingly seeing giant boys getting ahead because they are physically stronger (although not necessarily as skilled). We are worried he’s going to give up on playing the sport altogether despite loving it and having talent. Seems like more and more coaches prioritize the big boys and write off the little guys beginning around 13, certainly 14. This was not our experience with DD (also late to puberty/growth but very solid athlete) so just wondering if people have success stories of their small DS making it through 13/14 years in their sport, going on to find success in HS. What got them through the years of size imbalance? What sport did/do they play?

Depends on sport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's why you see Asian people gravitate towards golf, tennis, and now Pickleball (it is now an official HS varsity sport in Montgomery County in fall '24) because these sports require skills and mental toughness rather than physical brute force. FWIW, my DS is 5'7" and he plays golf at an ACC school.

How can you lump with golf with tennis ? Size definitely helps in tennis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's why you see Asian people gravitate towards golf, tennis, and now Pickleball (it is now an official HS varsity sport in Montgomery County in fall '24) because these sports require skills and mental toughness rather than physical brute force. FWIW, my DS is 5'7" and he plays golf at an ACC school.

How can you lump with golf with tennis ? Size definitely helps in tennis

Not at the high school level. Have you looked at the high school tennis roster in this area? Over 50% of the roster is Asians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's why you see Asian people gravitate towards golf, tennis, and now Pickleball (it is now an official HS varsity sport in Montgomery County in fall '24) because these sports require skills and mental toughness rather than physical brute force. FWIW, my DS is 5'7" and he plays golf at an ACC school.

What is it with golfers and insisting they are tough? I love golf, but no sport that allows cart girls to sell beer to players during their round requires much in the way of toughness

[Anonymous]

Op here—DS loves sport, will continue to play and train outside of team. As long as he wants to continue playing we will support him. I grew up with sisters and our oldest is a girl so this is really my first experience with the size/strength/growth timing issue with boys so was really just asking how other supported their kids. I fully understand the competition for spots in HS, but I guess I’m just a little surprised to be feeling that so intensely at this age when there is such a range of when boys hit puberty and grow. I wrongly assumed coaches would be more open to fostering strong athletes who have not had their growth spurts yet but many/most seem more interested in big boys only. I’m seeing this with friends’ kids too—baseball, basketball, and lacrosse seem to be the three where I hear about this most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here—DS loves sport, will continue to play and train outside of team. As long as he wants to continue playing we will support him. I grew up with sisters and our oldest is a girl so this is really my first experience with the size/strength/growth timing issue with boys so was really just asking how other supported their kids. I fully understand the competition for spots in HS, but I guess I’m just a little surprised to be feeling that so intensely at this age when there is such a range of when boys hit puberty and grow. I wrongly assumed coaches would be more open to fostering strong athletes who have not had their growth spurts yet but many/most seem more interested in big boys only. I’m seeing this with friends’ kids too—baseball, basketball, and lacrosse seem to be the three where I hear about this most.

Coaches want the best team they can field. For a kid your son's age who hasn't hit puberty, that's rough, but if the coach fostered that kid, they'd have to cut a kid who was objectively better

[Anonymous]

My son was the smallest in middle school -sophomore in HS.

Recruiting was brutal, did preferred walk on, ended up D1 top 10 all American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid has to be the best to want to play the sport, he’s going to hit “a wall” anyway. It’s very, very unlikely he’s a world talent at whatever it is. He’s playing for personal development and joy, or maaaaybe college money? Maybe. Possibly. Probably not.

So it doesn’t really matter if the other players have a puberty advantage because there will always be players with a talent advantage, a training advantage, etc etc.

Op here—Kid is playing bc he loves sport and being on a team playing said sport. Would love to play in HS but understands this will be a challenge unless there’s significant growth size/strength wise. College is not in our plans so not thinking about recruiting potential or money.