Have you ever (or know of someone) just "woke up" decided you didn't like the people around you?
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Anonymous
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People you've known for years? Family member? Right now, I am going through this with my dad, he's 90, love him but he's living too long. He lives with us because we can't afford a nursing home, I don't feel right about putting him there. He is actually very fit and had a clear health report from his doctor. I just want to be with my immediate family alone. Is this wrong to feel this way, I sure it will pass because it had too. Doesn't help my son is lazy and does nothing to help in the house. Even friends are turning me off, same old, same old, a lot of them only want to go out and drink.
Am I just depressed? |
Anonymous
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Sounds like burnout, and drinking won't help.
Take a vacation. Shock your system with a silent retreat for a weekend. Stop falling victim to a martyr mentality that says you're too important to be without; your life will survive without you, but you're not surviving your life well right now. Airplane rule: put your own mask on first. No big moves. Chances are it's not all those other people suddenly being obnoxious, it's probably something you can adjust interally. |
Anonymous
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Yes and this perfect sentence said it all.
What broke my heart healed my vision. |
Anonymous
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You are facing a traumatic situation and your emotions are flooding to prepare to react. Listen do your feelings, but don't be a slave to them. Take note of them, then rest, and then think.
Give yourself some respite -- hire someone to come help a bit so you can take a break. Treat yourself to a healthy, comforting indulgence (think spa not saloon). |
Anonymous
Stop the lies. You don’t love your dad. You enjoy people you love and you want them to live. You feel like your dad is living too long? You wishes he dies? That’s not love. You are crazy or going through a depression. Seek medical help. Your son does nothing to help in the house? Isn’t it how you raised him? Why are you expecting a different outcome? It seems like you are also failing as a parent. Sorry to be harsh with you. But you need to hear the harsh truth and make efforts to change. |
Anonymous
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I find it sad that you feel that your Father is “living too long.” 😔
But I also commend your honesty regarding your current situation too. You definitely are a perfect candidate for a good respite. If possible > is there any possible way that this can be arranged?? You have quite a lot going on your plate & it is very understandable that you would feel as burned out as you do now. Perhaps even speaking w/a therapist on a regular basis may help you deal better w/all that you have going on in your life. Wishing you only the best. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like you have a lot of pressure and stress OP, and your friends are not very mature if they are drinking this much as adults. Taking care of a parent is overwhelming, and living with a parent as an adult is not that easy, depending on the parent. I loved my elderly parents, but being with them 24/7 for more than a few days was really taxing due to their personalities. |
Anonymous
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OP, sounds like burn out to me. I cared for elderly parents and it was exhausting. They both had dementia and it was a relief when they passed. And I loved them both dearly.
What you are feeling is so normal. He isn't living too long, but he's living too long dependent on you. Different. Is there family available to pitch in? (besides your son?) can you afford some part time assistance at home? sending hugs. I've been there. You are a good person who is experiencing normal caregiver burnout. Cut yourself some slack. |
Anonymous
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Having elderly parents live with you is a huge undertaking, especially if they live a very long life. It sounds like you need a break.
And nothing wrong with waking up one day and deciding you want friends who do more than drink. That’s called growing up. |