How often do you take your teen's phone

[Anonymous]

.....and for what reasons? DD keeps complaining that I take it too much.

[Anonymous]

What phone?

[Anonymous]

We haven’t had to take it away much until this year and after he got Snapchat. He is going into 9th grade.

He has his phone back but without Snapchat, discord, YouTube or TikTok or any other social media. I also added parental controls so he can’t add them. This restriction will last for awhile.

Basically he’s made some poor choices online with some posts and other behavior. We are trying to rebuild some trust and get him to slow down and think. He was posting stuff with no thought of consequences and doing other reckless behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Never, but they're not addicted to their phones. In the evening, all the phones live downstairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We haven’t had to take it away much until this year and after he got Snapchat. He is going into 9th grade.

He has his phone back but without Snapchat, discord, YouTube or TikTok or any other social media. I also added parental controls so he can’t add them. This restriction will last for awhile.

Basically he’s made some poor choices online with some posts and other behavior. We are trying to rebuild some trust and get him to slow down and think. He was posting stuff with no thought of consequences and doing other reckless behaviors.

OP here. DD is also going into 9th grade. She doesn't have any social media, but the phone usage has ramped up significantly since she purchased herself an iPhone to replace her Android. Her friends text her a lot so everytime it dings she immediately responds and is then on it for hours. I also don't approve of many of the people she texts. A few days ago I caught her on it when she was supposed to be working on other things, so I took it away and she had a complete meltdown. Eventually she convinced me to let her have it 4 hours a day as a trial. Well today I caught her sneaking it without telling me she would be using it, so I took it away permanently. She's now having another meltdown because I'm "ruining her social life" and "taking her away from all her friends", and is pointing out articles written by psychologists to try and prove I shouldn't be taking it away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven’t had to take it away much until this year and after he got Snapchat. He is going into 9th grade.

He has his phone back but without Snapchat, discord, YouTube or TikTok or any other social media. I also added parental controls so he can’t add them. This restriction will last for awhile.

Basically he’s made some poor choices online with some posts and other behavior. We are trying to rebuild some trust and get him to slow down and think. He was posting stuff with no thought of consequences and doing other reckless behaviors.

OP here. DD is also going into 9th grade. She doesn't have any social media, but the phone usage has ramped up significantly since she purchased herself an iPhone to replace her Android. Her friends text her a lot so everytime it dings she immediately responds and is then on it for hours. I also don't approve of many of the people she texts. A few days ago I caught her on it when she was supposed to be working on other things, so I took it away and she had a complete meltdown. Eventually she convinced me to let her have it 4 hours a day as a trial. Well today I caught her sneaking it without telling me she would be using it, so I took it away permanently. She's now having another meltdown because I'm "ruining her social life" and "taking her away from all her friends", and is pointing out articles written by psychologists to try and prove I shouldn't be taking it away.

OP again. What angers me the most is that she lied about being on it today before she admitted the truth. I hate liars.

[Anonymous]

IMHO this is a battle you are not going to win. The motto for raising teenagers should be choose your battles. This is just not a hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

You are taking it away too much, because you are giving it back too soon.

She can chat with her friends on a laptop or tablet, supervised.

[Anonymous]

What article is she sharing that says an 8th grader should have unlimited phone access?

[Anonymous]

Why are you taking the phone away? It’s Summer time. Let the kid be. What else is she supposed to be doing? I don’t and haven’t taken away my 17 years old phone ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What article is she sharing that says an 8th grader should have unlimited phone access?

OP again. Here are some of the articles shes found and presented to me:

https://childmind.org/article/when-should-you-come-between-a-teenager-and-her-phone/#:~:text=Threatening%20to%20take%20away%20your,grounding%20them%20all%20at%20once.

https://www.safes.so/blogs/punishment-for-kids/

https://troomi.com/should-parents-take-away-phones-as-punishment/

https://yourteenmag.com/technology/parents-take-away-cell-phones

https://raisingteenstoday.com/things-to-consider-before-taking-your-teens-phone-away-as-punishment/

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you taking the phone away? It’s Summer time. Let the kid be. What else is she supposed to be doing? I don’t and haven’t taken away my 17 years old phone ever.

OP. She's taking virtual PE therefore she needs to be working on that as it is a very time-consuming class, she has a Girl Scout project that needs to be completed this summer, and she's been slacking on her summer prep for next school year, and hasn't been reading as much. The phone is a distraction and she's addicted. She cares more about the phone than her family or activities.

[Anonymous]

It is not about the phone. It is about the peers on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you taking the phone away? It’s Summer time. Let the kid be. What else is she supposed to be doing? I don’t and haven’t taken away my 17 years old phone ever.

OP. She's taking virtual PE therefore she needs to be working on that as it is a very time-consuming class, she has a Girl Scout project that needs to be completed this summer, and she's been slacking on her summer prep for next school year, and hasn't been reading as much. The phone is a distraction and she's addicted. She cares more about the phone than her family or activities.

So take it and she gets it for two hours a day AFTER she's completed her obligations to your satisfaction.