Young love

[Anonymous]

Rising freshman daughter has first boyfriend. They seem like a great pair and so far so good. But I do feel this is very young for being serious, and definitely don’t want sex to happening anytime soon. Whats the best way to help guide your teen to find balance in enjoying a relationship but not getting in over your head emotionally and physically? Keeping academics first, pursuing other interests and maintaining friendships.

[Anonymous]

Need lots more info.

How long? How often are they seeing each other? First relationship or were they middle school dates (dated others in middle school)?

Relationships at this age can be kind of a nothing burger but also can get real fast. Depends on the kid and context.

[Anonymous]

Same situation only three years in - they haven’t broken up. I provide a ton of opportunities for them to get together with a ton of supervision. Ive developed a relationship with boyfriend and his family. And my daughter has her own relationship with his family which is really nice because she has another adult who loves her, supports her and guides her. We share driving them places and we’ve even taken weekend trips together a few times a year.

Parents are on the same page about sports -‘quitting is not an option. And between parents, coaches and teachers, grades stay up - both straight A students.

It’s easier when they don’t drive - neither in our case can drive with others in the car yet and we’ve stayed strict with this rule despite “everyone else’s parents letting their kid drive other kids”. It makes supervision easier.

We’ve also made birth control available and helped our daughter find a doctor she’s comfortable talking with (her pediatrician was great but she wanted a young female so we changed). She has not yet elected birth control but we check in about.

I feel like this sounds controlling as I type it, but it really isn’t in practice. The investment was all in the beginning. And for me the biggest thing is to make sure I have a good relationship with my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Supervise their time together
Limit their time together
Keep lines of communication open
Keep her busy. Very busy.

[Anonymous]

Keep this as just one thing in their lives. easier over the summer. Lots of time with other friends, doing activities, etc so that time with boyfriend is limited and doesn't take over. As they get older, they have jobs that naturally fill a lot of that time but until then you need to fill it.

[Anonymous]

Stay calm. Imo, emotionally healthy teens take small steps towards intimacy. The steps are maturity and age dependent. What many parent focus on could be years away. Lots of parents fear they know what's going on, they don't. They aren't in the room.

Navigating intimacy with a loving partner is what should happen, what you should want. They will have much healthier relationships going forward

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think it’s a bad idea. I would only allow them to meet in groups, with supervision, or FaceTime alone (but not in bedroom). I’d encourage them to be friends only. Romance can be distracting and with emotional highs/lows it can be difficult to manage for a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same situation only three years in - they haven’t broken up. I provide a ton of opportunities for them to get together with a ton of supervision. Ive developed a relationship with boyfriend and his family. And my daughter has her own relationship with his family which is really nice because she has another adult who loves her, supports her and guides her. We share driving them places and we’ve even taken weekend trips together a few times a year.

Parents are on the same page about sports -‘quitting is not an option. And between parents, coaches and teachers, grades stay up - both straight A students.

It’s easier when they don’t drive - neither in our case can drive with others in the car yet and we’ve stayed strict with this rule despite “everyone else’s parents letting their kid drive other kids”. It makes supervision easier.

We’ve also made birth control available and helped our daughter find a doctor she’s comfortable talking with (her pediatrician was great but she wanted a young female so we changed). She has not yet elected birth control but we check in about.

I feel like this sounds controlling as I type it, but it really isn’t in practice. The investment was all in the beginning. And for me the biggest thing is to make sure I have a good relationship with my daughter.

So they are dating 3 years and now rising juniors and you don’t think they’ve had sex? Come on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it’s a bad idea. I would only allow them to meet in groups, with supervision, or FaceTime alone (but not in bedroom). I’d encourage them to be friends only. Romance can be distracting and with emotional highs/lows it can be difficult to manage for a teen.

+1