Son Switches On and Off
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Anonymous
| DS has never been much of a talker and he has always had friends all throughout his childhood. But a problem that we have been having is that he'll act outgoing to some people but then give one word responses to others. For example, he has no problem talking to a professional in his field for hours on end and he passes most internship interviews for competitive positions. But when we are in a public setting where everyone is socializing, he just sits there until someone comes to talk to him. He says that if he wants to talk to that someone, he will go up to them, but if there isn't anyone, he doesn't care what they think about him. Also, if someone who he doesn't want to talk to starts a conversation with him, he gives one sentence responses. He says, "I just don't want to talk to them." Is this common in other's kids? |
Anonymous
| Why are you in social settings with your adult son? How often is that happening? |
Anonymous
|
Is this new behavior?
If not, it's not your concern anymore. He's an adult and doesn't seem to mind this behavior |
Anonymous
| So what. He is personable when he needs to be and, as probably an introvert, isn't when he doesn't feel the need to be "on." |
Anonymous
| Not common, no. When I have seen this, it's only been in men. |
Anonymous
| Spectrum |
Anonymous
| So he talks to people he's interested in. Sounds like he's an introvert. This is not a problem - it's just a problem for you. |
Anonymous
| This tells me you actually called him out on it. It's not okay to police how adults interact with others. It's rude and likely makes him feel like you have an issue with him. |
Anonymous
This^. If he isn't depressed and even selectively social, no need to worry. I understand it may feel awkward at times or even rude but this isn't a conflict you want to have convincing him. He might change with age and exposure. |
Anonymous
may be or just an introvert. |
Anonymous
| I'm an adult, female and I can be an introvert. When I'm in my element and comfortable I can talk on and on. Otherwise I have difficulties forming meaningful small talk with people I don't know. It's fine. I've been very successful despite my quirks. |
Anonymous
|
He sounds like a typical high-functioning autistic person, like my husband and son. They don't do small talk. It's hard for them to socialize in open-ended situations not centered on their topics of interest, because those are harder for people who need rules and structure and social guardrails. What's surprising to me is that you're only just now noticing this, OP. |
Anonymous
Perhaps OP is overstating how he behaves, but as stated he is either aggressively introverted or on the spectrum. |
Anonymous
Agreed. |
Anonymous
| It's much easier to talk to people about a defined topic (ie, professionals) than make small talk at a busy social event. At any rate, this isn't your problem. |