Trying not to crush DD13’s spirit but…

[Anonymous]

… she’s become overwhelming. Help!

We (regretfully) surprised DD with our upcoming vacation plans a little too early. We have 45 days until we leave and debating surprising her or telling her early, but figured this would be an adequate amount of time for her to get excited and plan along with us, but now we find ourselves overwhelmed with her constant desire to talk and discuss, want us to watch the same YouTube videos over and over again, etc. We are so happy she’s excited! But we are so. very. tired. of talking about it and don’t know how we will do this for 45 more days. We thought it would be short lived but it’s been two weeks and she hasn’t dropped it for a second. It consumes her. Any tips for getting her to pull back without crushing her?

[Anonymous]

Let her enjoy it, suck it up

[Anonymous]

"We've already seen the video - why don't you research some fun restaurants in the area where we'd like to eat?" Redirect.

[Anonymous]

What else is she up to this summer? Make sure she's seeing friends, maybe encourage her to do a little babysitting or pet-sitting.

[Anonymous]

Lucky!

[Anonymous]

If the worst thing is your kid is excited for the vacation you're doing okay.

[Anonymous]

She's like this as a 13 yo? Does she have anxiety? ASD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the worst thing is your kid is excited for the vacation you're doing okay.

+1. I can’t get my 13 yo to pack because she doesn’t want to leave friends and miss out on social things with them. You are lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lucky!

Many a “my kid finds all trips horrible” posts here so yes, nice to see someone excited. How about tell her to journal and write it all down?

[Anonymous]

She sounds a little obsessive, which can sometimes be good.
Can you give her a project -- to research different restaurants and prepare a summary or powerpoint for family? Or maybe research different tour possibilities or excursion possibilities?

[Anonymous]

Have a 2nd child.

[Anonymous]

Just set a boundary. "We can look on Wednesday nights at dinner" or whatever. If she brings it up otherwise you just be like "ok, i've added that to the note in my phone of things you want to show me Weds at dinner" And then gently redirect.

[Anonymous]

That’s fantastic that she’s so excited. Could you imagine if you planned a trip and your kid didn’t care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We've already seen the video - why don't you research some fun restaurants in the area where we'd like to eat?" Redirect.

This. If that doesn't do it be more direct and tell her that you love that's she's excited but you typically don't enjoy watching the same video repeatedly. This is what I tell my teen with ASD and he gets it.

Also, as parents I feel like it's our job to suck it up to some degree and be pretend interested in the things our kids like, but if it's really over the top there is nothing wrong with making a boundary "Tonight I really need to X, but on Saturday I would love to talk about our vacation." It's not crushing her spirit, it's helping her understand that people have different interests. As an adult I have a variety of interests that I don't discuss with my husband or kids because they don't share them. My spirit isn't crushed; this is just how socializing works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We've already seen the video - why don't you research some fun restaurants in the area where we'd like to eat?" Redirect.

+1

I think it is awesome that your DD is so excited. I’d involve her in the planning- research restaurants & make a list, research what conveniences or stores are near your hotel/lodging, transportation if applicable, excursion ideas and any tips and tricks for the area etc. and have her make lists.