Vent - Teen a camp

[Anonymous]

My teen has been going to overnight camp for years. She loves it - and each year has asked to go (it's not cheap).

We've never had an issue with homesickness or anything - this year we just got a call. I guess she has her period and has been very sad and missing home. It breaks my heart to think of her unhappy at camp, but also - I want to be sure she is resilient and can push through.

[Anonymous]

I’m not quite sure how this is building “resilience”. Your kid has done sleep away camp before and can clearly handle being away from home. She has her period and is hormonal and feeling homesick. All of this sounds perfectly normal. Maybe this is the year that she says she’s over sleep away camp. That doesn’t mean she’s not “resilient”. And yes, I’m using quotes because I find people on DCUM overuse the word and overestimate its importance in most situations.

[Anonymous]

Did your kid call you at camp or did the camp call? When did your kid arrive? Often it takes a few days to get in the groove of camp.

I do think that some camps are just better suited to younger kids than teens -- that is why some camps incorporate longer trips for older kids. But since your kid just arrived my guess is that she has not had time to be bored yet.

It is frustrating to spend that much money and not have them love every second, but my guess is your kid will still have a great summer.

This article may help: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/06/health/summer-camp-mental-health.html

“She was definitely crying before bed,” Ms. Klein said on the phone to a mother. It was a delicate balance; before drop-off the previous day, the girl’s mother had told her she could come home if she wasn’t happy.

Ms. Klein was intent on shoring them up, mother and daughter. “I really don’t think she needs to go home,” she told the mother. “I want her to use those struggle muscles and understand she can do hard things.”

Homesickness has always been part of camp, but in recent years it has become more acute and difficult to manage, she said, perhaps because of the habit of constant communication between parents and kids.

“We used to work with parents and say, ‘We can get your child through this,’” she said. “Parents used to trust us much more.”

[Anonymous]

NP. The group dynamics may have also changed as they hit teen years. My dd decided not to go back to her camp this year (age 14) because it was too “clique-ish” (her words) last summer and couples were pairing up which she’s not into yet.

[Anonymous]

It’s normal to get emotional with your period. I wouldn’t even assume she’s truly homesick, just probably feeling complex things. I think you should wait this out a few days and see.

[Anonymous]

Hormones from period? Hopefully it’ll pass in a couple of days.

[Anonymous]

Consider that something worse happened that she doesn't want to tell you over the phone, or at all.

[Anonymous]

How long is she attending?

[Anonymous]

I’d say she probably got a weird mix of cabinmates this year, maybe too many pre existing friends or kids have paired up and she isn’t connecting with anyone this year.

Just a guess. Maybe period means no swimming ?

The last year my oldest went was 14, and that feels about right to kind of lose interest in overnight camp compared to being home with established friends

[Anonymous]

In my experience, each week of camp felt like an entire year. People you were inseparable the first week you might not even speak to the last week and vice-versa. The only thing that is permanent is coming home, and if she does that she'll never go back. It's over. Keep her, she'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

I went to 7 weeks of travel camp one summer when I was 13, and the ONLY time I called home was when I got my period and stained a hotel bed as if it was a violent murder scene.

[Anonymous]

I’d go get my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d go get my kid.

How does that help your kid with resilience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s normal to get emotional with your period. I wouldn’t even assume she’s truly homesick, just probably feeling complex things. I think you should wait this out a few days and see.

Agree. I would not pick her up at this point. Be in touch with the director. They are pretty good at knowing when a kid needs to go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. The group dynamics may have also changed as they hit teen years. My dd decided not to go back to her camp this year (age 14) because it was too “clique-ish” (her words) last summer and couples were pairing up which she’s not into yet.

+1. The group dynamics can change markedly in the 12-14 year old girl groups -- periods, height, weight, etc. No different than middle school shifts in friend groups.