HFA bites when angry, what to do?

[Anonymous]

Any suggestion? We had two incidents these two years. He is 10

[Anonymous]

What have you been doing to correct this? Difficult to advise without knowing what isn't working.

[Anonymous]

Two incidents in two years isn't great, but it's not terrible either. What made those incidents different from other times he got angry? What does he normally do when angry?

[Anonymous]

He usually elopes, go somewhere by himself to calm down, he did today on the soccer field in camp. When there is confrontation and he has to get his way. I gave him consequence of no TV entire week, what else should I be doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He usually elopes, go somewhere by himself to calm down, he did today on the soccer field in camp. When there is confrontation and he has to get his way. I gave him consequence of no TV entire week, what else should I be doing?

He didn't bite you? He bit someone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually elopes, go somewhere by himself to calm down, he did today on the soccer field in camp. When there is confrontation and he has to get his way. I gave him consequence of no TV entire week, what else should I be doing?

He didn't bite you? He bit someone else?

he bites me before, I didn’t keep track, like 2-3 times. He bites NT peer today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He usually elopes, go somewhere by himself to calm down, he did today on the soccer field in camp. When there is confrontation and he has to get his way. I gave him consequence of no TV entire week, what else should I be doing?

Consequences aren’t going to work for this. It’s not like he gets upset and then stops and thinks, “I want to bite, but if I do, I will lose tv again.” Stop with the consequences. Focus instead on teaching him tools to calm down. Walking away is a great tool! He just can’t run all the way away from camp. And try to put him in situations where he’s not going to get upset enough that he feels like he needs to bite. He might not be ready for soccer camp, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He usually elopes, go somewhere by himself to calm down, he did today on the soccer field in camp. When there is confrontation and he has to get his way. I gave him consequence of no TV entire week, what else should I be doing?

Going somewhere to calm down isn’t eloping unless he’s running off to a place he’s not allowed to be. If he’s just running away from the conflict and calming down, he’s doing exactly the right thing.

Have you sought professional help? And parent coaching?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually elopes, go somewhere by himself to calm down, he did today on the soccer field in camp. When there is confrontation and he has to get his way. I gave him consequence of no TV entire week, what else should I be doing?

Consequences aren’t going to work for this. It’s not like he gets upset and then stops and thinks, “I want to bite, but if I do, I will lose tv again.” Stop with the consequences. Focus instead on teaching him tools to calm down. Walking away is a great tool! He just can’t run all the way away from camp. And try to put him in situations where he’s not going to get upset enough that he feels like he needs to bite. He might not be ready for soccer camp, for example.

+1. Give him back the tv. He doesn’t have the coping skills yet. You’re asking him to do something he doesn’t know how to do and then punishing him for not knowing how to do it.

[Anonymous]

Did he get kicked off of the team?

[Anonymous]

OP, thanks for all the advices. No it’s actually a horseback riding camp but they had soccer as part of the activity. He used to do better, and would walk away, he regressed last year.

I had created a calming tools menu, you guys are right, we should revisit it again. I used to do role play, any suggestions on how to teach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he get kicked off of the team?

not yet, he was also bullied today, he came home crying, while waiting for me he was also crying there. He did great last year in this camp, maybe just a different group of kids, I had doubt if I signed him up for the right one, it’s so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually elopes, go somewhere by himself to calm down, he did today on the soccer field in camp. When there is confrontation and he has to get his way. I gave him consequence of no TV entire week, what else should I be doing?

Consequences aren’t going to work for this. It’s not like he gets upset and then stops and thinks, “I want to bite, but if I do, I will lose tv again.” Stop with the consequences. Focus instead on teaching him tools to calm down. Walking away is a great tool! He just can’t run all the way away from camp. And try to put him in situations where he’s not going to get upset enough that he feels like he needs to bite. He might not be ready for soccer camp, for example.

+1. Give him back the tv. He doesn’t have the coping skills yet. You’re asking him to do something he doesn’t know how to do and then punishing him for not knowing how to do it.

Disagree with this. Going back on consequences is saying that he is incapable of good behavior. It is demoralizing and infantalizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any suggestion? We had two incidents these two years. He is 10

Ask your doctor team not DCUM. You don’t wanna sound like the DCUM troll….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any suggestion? We had two incidents these two years. He is 10

Ask your doctor team not DCUM. You don’t wanna sound like the DCUM troll….

of course I will also sync with his doctor. So what should be discussed here then? This is a place for parents to share experience, insights.