What age is the most difficult to parent?

[Anonymous]

My oldest is in high school and youngest in elementary. I think age 12-13 is the most unpleasant and difficult age to parent.

I remember having babies and toddlers and older parents would say the teen years are harder and they were right! The younger years were a breeze compared to the tween/teen years.

[Anonymous]

My hardest so far has been 19-20. I'm not kidding.

[Anonymous]

Generalizations may not apply to your kids, OP. My teen and young adult have undemanding, pleasant personalities, but one has severe inattention (daydreaming, needs repeated directions, etc) and the other has a chronic physical disease. Those are the difficulties we manage in our house. They're not related to age at all - it's a lifelong thing for both of them.

[Anonymous]

Babies and toddlers are obviously hard for obvious reasons.

We had the most conflict around late elementary and early middle school (dad/son).

High School so far has been great for the most part.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a big personality component here - both of the parent and the kid. Personally, I found the toddler years extremely challenging. I was unprepared for the tornado of activity and feeeeeeelings. I mean, I knew it was coming, but I didn't REALLY get it until I was living it. I found the constant vigilance of trying to keep my kid alive and unmaimed to be exhausting and stressful.

My kid is now 14, and by comparison 12-13 was a breeze! TBD how all this compares to 15+.

[Anonymous]

7-1/2

[Anonymous]

16+ is my opinion based on what's happening to friends. That said, like every other thing in parenting, some people have it much worse than others. My guess is my kid (14) the worst will still be the 3 years he didn't sleep through the night. Most people I know didn't have it that bad at those ages.

[Anonymous]

For me it was the toddler age where they want to be vocal and make their needs known, and in their head what they are saying is exactly that. Except it's just gibberish and then they get mad when you don't know what they want. I don't remember exactly what age that was for DS, although it was a little older than most of the kids in our activities because he was raised bilingual. I just remember feeling burnt out and frustrated. He also liked to always be on the move so I felt like it was this constant state of being on edge.

[Anonymous]

16-18. They are not officially adults but grown up and have minds of their own. They don’t listen and think they know everything.

[Anonymous]

Agreed it's so kid dependent. Love our middle-schooler and feel like we've hit our stride as parents. I found 3-6 totally exhausting but I know some people love those ages. There were things I liked about it but my kid struggled a bit with the transition to school and was just such an intense ball of emotions and questions at those ages. But learning to to read and becoming a bit more independent mellowed her out and since then I feel like pretty much any challenge we encounter can be resolved by just talking it through.

I reserve the right to change my answer later though. I could see the later years of high school being tough on us but hopefully we're laying groundwork now? I won't presume to know though. Every kid is different and parenting has lots of surprises!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a big personality component here - both of the parent and the kid. Personally, I found the toddler years extremely challenging. I was unprepared for the tornado of activity and feeeeeeelings. I mean, I knew it was coming, but I didn't REALLY get it until I was living it. I found the constant vigilance of trying to keep my kid alive and unmaimed to be exhausting and stressful.

My kid is now 14, and by comparison 12-13 was a breeze! TBD how all this compares to 15+.

+1

I actually really disliked the baby stage & found it extremely difficult with each of my kids. Absolutely loved toddler age- my favorite years (exhausting as it was). I think it it is just a personality thing. Elementary ages were fairly enjoyable and super easy. Middle school and young teens has been ok so far. Emotionally draining/worrying at times depending what is going on. My oldest is 15 so we will see how the late teens go….

[Anonymous]

The first year was the hardest because of the sleep deprivation. The rest of it was doable because I could get a decent night's sleep.

[Anonymous]

Physically exhausting, first few years; emotionally exhausting, older teens.

For me, our MS girl was an emotional train wreck, but older teens are way more scary, because their bad choices have the potential to have living consequences (and they ALL make them, even if you are in denial about your perfect teen)

[Anonymous]

Agree that it’s personality (of both kid and parents) dependent. My oldest child was a super easy kid up until age 7 or so and then became more challenging with each passing year since then. My 2nd child was a very difficult baby-toddler so ages 0-3 ish were tough (though I think some of that was because we had 2 kids which is just tougher anyway) and that transition from 1-2 kids took a few years to get used to… but has been a very easy kid once we got through the toddler years.

[Anonymous]

Nothing compares to newborns in terms of sheer horror.

But 11 was really hard (my kid hit puberty early). 12 has been great though!