Allergies and restaurants, how to approach?

[Anonymous]

So, I went out to eat yesterday and told the waiting staff that I couldn't have any dairy when I asked for a side salad with my main. She suggested cobb salad with vinaigrette. I said, sure. The salad had no dressing, and no side dressing was brought. Ok, fine. But the salad had crumbled feta cheese all over it. I have a dairy allergy. DH just said he disliked cheese, and he ordered nachos without any cheese; he got his order right.

I know I should have said, I have a dairy allergy, and not I can't have any dairy.

I hate being that fussy person when we go out to eat, so I just try to choose meals without dairy. But steak is cooked in butter, jacket potatoes are surrounded in butter, eggs often have dairy in restaurants, and almost all baked goods have dairy in them. I went to the Indian restaurant and said, I will have plain nan; well, dairy is in the dough. They brought me chicken curry and then said no dairy, only it was coated in yogurt.

How are you handling your food allergies? I am just at a loss about what to do. One approach I have is to go to Thai or Korean restaurants all the time, but I want to participate in restaurant dining with my family, too. Due to other food issues, I can't have Mexican food without requests for no peppers, no raw onions, and not much garlic.

My dairy allergy won't kill me on the spot, but it will cause coughing, choking, and, often, I will throw up. I was diagnosed with it a few years ago, but looking back to my childhood, it is clear that I always had an issue with dairy. (I am from Europe and not having butter and cheese is not an easy thing to accept for me).

So please help me navigate with your suggestions. Should I become a dining hermit or carry Benadryl and Prednisone with me all the time?

[Anonymous]

You need to be pickier about your choices, use online menus and research before you go. Tell them exactly what you don’t want.

Order prime rib instead of grilled steak, French fries are a good option over potatoes, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to be pickier about your choices, use online menus and research before you go. Tell them exactly what you don’t want.

Order prime rib instead of grilled steak, French fries are a good option over potatoes, etc

+1
A cobb salad typically has all kinds of meat and cheese and egg in it.

Lots of salads they will try to throw in goat cheese or shaved parm so even if cheese is not listed, tell them no cheese, no dressing.

[Anonymous]

You need to be more direct- tell them what you can’t eat and why

[Anonymous]

Definitely look at the menu before you go and plan to eat something that does not have dairy or is very easy to adjust. Then make it clear when you order that you have an allergy to dairy, and ask if there are any hidden dairy in the item you are ordering. And then list what you mean - no butter, no milk, no cheese.

[Anonymous]

If you’re not willing to tell restaurants about your allergy (???) you will continue to have issues.

[Anonymous]

This just sounds like a mistake. If you said you can't have dairy and they brought you a salad with cheese you send it back and say "Hi, I said I can't eat dairy and this has cheese on it. Can the kitchen please make a new one that's not contaminated with dairy, or if that's not possible, I will pick something else. Thanks!"

If I have an allergy I say "I have an allergy to _____."

[Anonymous]

My baby is allergic to cows milk protein and I’m breastfeeding, so I have to abstain now. I say I have a strict dairy allergy and I spell out what that means—no milk, no milk products like yogurt, no cheese, no butter.

I ask usually what simple fish can be grilled in olive oil, I ask directly which breads are made without any butter etc. You have to be more clear. Before I spelled it out this way, I would get things that were clearly cooked in butter but the wait staff would say it was dairy free because they were just thinking about milk.

[Anonymous]

You just have to be direct and advocate for yourself. My partner has a few severe allergies and he always tells our server immediately and spells out super clearly what he can’t have. Sometimes (not often but often enough) they don’t listen or are oblivious (we once got an “oh we didn’t know a nut allergy means you can’t have peanut butter”), and he has to send stuff back. You can’t be afraid to be rude- it’s your health!

[Anonymous]

go to chain places that have allergen menus.

[Anonymous]

OP a dairy allergy that persists into adulthood is no joke. I'm sure you know this, but just want to be clear since "just" choking and vomiting are not mild symptoms.

First, your best protection is not the one provided by the restaurant, but by you carrying your Epipen and Zyrtec (same as Benadryl, fewer side effects).

State the allergy when you order. Ask the server to please check back when the food arrives. State the allergy to the person who drops the food. Confirm with the server.

Last, all adolescents and adults should be considering Xolair for protection.

[Anonymous]

Nachos without cheese is corn chips with veggies sprinkled in. They could bring it in a minute. I bet they had a laugh.
Side cobb salad? One piece of each ingredient?
Please include cheese, butter, yogurt, milk in your list and whatever else.

[Anonymous]

My kid has multiple food allergies and I’ve never had a problem finding things he could eat when we went out. You need to do more homework checking menus and calling before you go. Recently we went to a hot pot style place and I was worried about sesame in Asian food but they worked with me. It’s do-able, and sometimes you just have to choose a different restaurant.

In the past I’ve also made up pieces of paper listing the allergens to take back to the kitchen staff (another set of eyes to see and less chance of the message getting mixed up).

Finally, go to Disney. They are wonderful with food allergies there!

[Anonymous]

Not everyone understands food allergies or gets it. So, when you say dairy allergy they may think milk but not cheese. So, when you go out, ask is there cheese on the salad, or just say I cannot eat dairy, cheese or anything with dairy in it and be specific.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks, everyone, for replying and for your suggestions. I am about to read all of it. I had a very busy day and did not get around to it.