Anyone else’s asd dc in a constant state of embarrassment?

[Anonymous]

Dc (11) is is a constant state of embarrassment. Is this typical? I am embarrassing and his brother is embarrassing and everything is cringe. I can’t tell if it’s bc he is on the spectrum and is trying to figure out what is and is not cool bc doesn’t have the innate sense - or just a tween thing and not related to asd

[Anonymous]

Yes. It's often called social anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It's often called social anxiety.

Interesting. I thought it was just a tween/ teen thing to be embarrassed. My age 12 DS doesn’t want to see anyone he knows from school when we’re out as a family. I remember feeling the same way.

[Anonymous]

I’m quite embarrassing to by 13 year old who’s mostly neurotypical, maybe some ADHD

But it really seems like it’s my sheer existence that’s embarrassing, i don’t see how it could be tied to anything ADHD related? It’s about how i act in public. Like i sometimes speak to people which is apparently really awful. Objectively speaking, i really think I'm not doing anything weird and it’s just the age. I’m fairly introverted and prefer to fly under the radar, so I’m hardly drawing attention to myself ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It's often called social anxiety.

Op - yes I think this is huge for him.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t that normal tween behavior?

My AuDHD tween who wears the same raggedy oversized tshirt everyday and can’t run a brush through her hair tells me “Mom, that outfit is cringe. You look old, like a mom.”

Point taken, I am indeed “old” and a “mom.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t that normal tween behavior?

My AuDHD tween who wears the same raggedy oversized tshirt everyday and can’t run a brush through her hair tells me “Mom, that outfit is cringe. You look old, like a mom.”

Point taken, I am indeed “old” and a “mom.”

lol - how dare you be alive and around in general. Urgh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t that normal tween behavior?

My AuDHD tween who wears the same raggedy oversized tshirt everyday and can’t run a brush through her hair tells me “Mom, that outfit is cringe. You look old, like a mom.”

Point taken, I am indeed “old” and a “mom.”

I know exactly what you mean, OP. There is normal teen embarrassment and there is next level deep social anxiety. Almost like a constant fight or flight reaction to family when in public. This got better for us when DS started taking meds for anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Ask him to be more specific. Are you laughing too loud? Are you too standing too close to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to be more specific. Are you laughing too loud? Are you too standing too close to him?

No no it’s not sensory stuff. It’s like if I ask him anything or speak to him when he is with other kids. My presence is mortifying.
Also not having the right haircut and not having a switch etc etc - everything is cringe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to be more specific. Are you laughing too loud? Are you too standing too close to him?

No no it’s not sensory stuff. It’s like if I ask him anything or speak to him when he is with other kids. My presence is mortifying.
Also not having the right haircut and not having a switch etc etc - everything is cringe

That seems age appropriate. Perhaps made worse by not really understanding social cues and so working harder than others to try to fit in -- and feeling like fitting in is more precarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to be more specific. Are you laughing too loud? Are you too standing too close to him?

No no it’s not sensory stuff. It’s like if I ask him anything or speak to him when he is with other kids. My presence is mortifying.
Also not having the right haircut and not having a switch etc etc - everything is cringe

Sounds like your kid has NT social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to be more specific. Are you laughing too loud? Are you too standing too close to him?

No no it’s not sensory stuff. It’s like if I ask him anything or speak to him when he is with other kids. My presence is mortifying.
Also not having the right haircut and not having a switch etc etc - everything is cringe

Sounds like your kid has NT social skills.

He appears nt but doesn’t have that innate social fluency but desires to be bffs with the popular kids and thus is always on the peripheral