What to do when Grandpa starts being forgetful?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Grandpa has started to forget things like details from conversations. We noticed he now writes everything down or asks visitors to (“Write down today’s date and that you visited, and remind me when you are going on vacation.”).
I had a conversation with him yesterday reminding him that today is his grandson’s birthday and that he should call to say hello and wish him HBD. Then the conversation shifted, and I reminded him again before I left an hour later—saying, “Remember to call Larlo tomorrow.” And he said, “Right. Because he’s going to pick me up for my doctor’s appointment, is that right?” So, that sort of thing. Do I take him to his primary doctor or someone else? What kind of evaluations are helpful? Are there actual scans? Do they prescribe meds? Trying to figure out next steps. |
Anonymous
|
Next step is: what is his living situation? He should not be living alone. The family should put their energy into -where will he live next? What can he afford? Who's handling paying his bills? Op, do you have parents/aunts/uncles who are taking are of these things?
Chasing a diagnosis is NOT the most useful way to spend time. |
Anonymous
| pp again, How old is he? Most likely is behavior is within *ordinary* for an elderly person. |
Anonymous
|
He needs to see a neurologist to get a baseline evaluation. There are some medications that help a bit with memory and sun-downing issues but they mostly slow the decline, not reverse it.
Since his mental capacity will continue to decline, make sure you know NOW all his wishes in terms of health and end of life matters. Get his advance medical directive done now while he can participate in the decision making. See if he will allow you to get access or at least visibility to his bank accounts. Start figuring out a living situation if he cannot continue on his own. If he is going to move in with a family member, make sure that person/family has adequate support and breaks. Caring for someone with dementia is exhausting in ways no one who hasn't lived through it can understand. |
Anonymous
Not at all! Please ignore this poster who is not up to date on cognitive decline and the means to address it. Your grandfather is past the MCI stage (Mild Cognitive Impairment). He absolutely needs a battery of tests done at the neurologist's. His PCP cannot conduct them. Depending on what sort of cognitive decline he has, different medications will be proposed, and his living situation has to be planned with his type of decline in mind. |
Anonymous
| Now is the time to make sure all the legal stuff is squared away- POA, advance directive, etc. it’s incredibly helpful to have the elderly loved one pas along usernames and passwords and account numbers at this stage too, for when that information is actually needed. |
Anonymous
|
He has a will, POA, etc.
The proverbial ducks are in a row in terms of finances. He’s currently living with a relative, but everyone realizes at some point he will need a different living situation in terms of care (whether hired help or a memory care situation). He’s not one who sees doctors regularly, so I’m trying to figure out whether this requires an official diagnosis and whether there are actual treatments. I realize nothing reverses it, but I’m curious if doctors typically suggest medications, supplements, etc. No sundowning yet. He’s scheduled to fly to Florida with relatives soon. Is there any medical reason why he shouldn’t fly? He will travel with family who will obviously look out for him. |
Anonymous
| If he's traveling with family, he should be ok, but they need to make an extra effort to ensure he doesn't get dehydrated, which will make his symptoms much worse |
Anonymous
That’s helpful. We’ve been giving him Gatorade/powerade each morning at the suggestion of the last doctor he saw, so we will focus on hydration in the days leading up to the trip and while flying. |
Anonymous
He should be fine for the flight but be aware as they slip more and more cognitively their routine becomes incredibly important. It sounds like your grandpa, with the right support, should do fine for the trip for now. But it may be hard for him to adjust once there. I compare it to an infant whose nap schedule gets messed up. For an official diagnosis that’s really up to you. We started with a neurologist for my mom but since there was nothing they could really do we didn’t feel as though the juice was worth the squeeze. She has dementia and aphasia, we assume vascular dementia based on some other medical issues but in the end it really doesn’t matter. The only real differences between they types of dementia are timeframes at various stages. |
Anonymous
|
Sounds like my mom, stage 3-4 Alzheimer’s.
Get poa; get access to all financial accounts; get advanced dementia directives if possible; figure out care plan (assisted living; home care etc). Neurologist or gerontology preferable. It helped us get the diagnosis and we tried meds but they frankly haven’t worked in a way that is noticeable. |
Anonymous
A diagnosis is ENTIRELY worth it, OP, because depending on cause and progression certain symptoms can be stalled and others cannot. He has to see a neurologist, get bloodwork, MRI, the whole nine yards. This is serious. And he has to hurry. A diagnosis may also be necessary to access certain services. |
Anonymous
| OP, you should have led with all of the info in your 10:44 post. |
Anonymous
|
My parent did a good job masking alzheimer’s and the doctor did not think they had it, even when it seemed to us that something was wrong.
One day my parent experienced a stressor which caused the mask to drop and then we had to race to help them. And only when mask dropped did the doctor diagnose them with alzheimer’s. Look into next steps of caretaking even without an official diagnosis. With my parent under doctor’s care, all the doctor is able to do is give pills that prolong the stage of the disease they are in, they monitor which stage they are in, and answer questions. Essentially nothing substantive can really be done. |
Anonymous
|
You can go to doctor but in my experience they have really limited tools. Neurologists might be helpful if your dad happens to have something treatable, like some forms of Parkinson’s.
It’s probably more important to just get all the administrative stuff in order and figure out how to have a safe living environment. If memory is the main thing but he’s in good spirits, count your blessings. |