sleepover birthday party- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

DD is turning 10 and having a sleepover birthday party this weekend. One friend RSVP'd yes a few weeks ago but the mom texted yesterday to say that they have decided to go out of town next weekend. She would like for her daughter to still spend the night but she wants to pick her up at 6:30am the next morning. She also said "it would be great if the kids didn't stay up too late". I replied that of course that was fine but couldn't guarantee that the kids wouldn't stay up late. I offered that another option would be to have her daughter stay late and one of us could drive her home around 9:30 or 10. This seems more reasonable to me, rather than having to wake her up so early and have her ready to be picked up. The mom seemed offended by this and is now saying that "it sounds like it would be better if we just skip the party all together". Did I handle this wrong? I feel really bad and I also know my DD will be disappointed that her friend is no longer coming.

[Anonymous]

You handled it fine. She's being rude. Just reiterate you really hope the kid can come and are willing to do 6:30.

[Anonymous]

No, this other woman is nuts. I also have a daughter who is turning 10 soon. I would never agree to police bedtime at a party sleepover. Mainly because that is part of the fun!

I would not be happy with a 6am pickup either, because that would require me to get up then and try to get the one child up without waking everyone else up? That's a mess. It's probably better if they don't come. The 10pm drive home is an excellent compromise. If she doesn't like it, this family maybe shouldn't be one you do sleepovers with.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she’s looking for an excuse to back out. An early pick-up will wake all the kids up. You were very generous offering to drive her home late the night before.

[Anonymous]

Do not offer a 630 pick up, but in retrospect, I would have offered a later pickup that night. I would expect you and the kids to be up closer to 12. 630 is ridiculous on her part, expecting you to get her kid up.

[Anonymous]

Sorry 6:30am pickup is absolutely ridiculous and will make all the other girls tired. I also wouldn't wake that early.

[Anonymous]

She’s rude/unreasonable.

And no way I’d want my 9 year old to have a sleepover the night before we’re traveling, because she won’t sleep as well, even if she gets to bed at a reasonable hour!

[Anonymous]

you handled it great, but i would pick up the phone and hash it out with a bit more of a human touch.

[Anonymous]

OP you were fine. Other mom was rude AF.

[Anonymous]

She is rude to ask all this.
I would have said “ 630 is early to get up after a sleepover, do you want her to come for the evening though and you pick her up at 10pm?”
If they say no they’ll skip just say sorry and you’ll see Larla another time.

[Anonymous]

That was a rude request and your idea was way better.

[Anonymous]

She was hoping you would respond with anything different really so she could blame you and not feel guilty for going out of town instead.

Sorry for your DD.

[Anonymous]

The other mother is being difficult but in my experience some kids are always up super early anyway and they wake everyone else up. I’d say the 6:30 pick up is fine and you’ll have her ready. Have the kid pack up the night before and sleep on the end. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

That’s crazy - leaving around 9:30 or 10:00 in the evening makes way more sense for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was hoping you would respond with anything different really so she could blame you and not feel guilty for going out of town instead.

Sorry for your DD.

I was thinking the same. The thing about not staying up so late is so unreasonable I think she was expecting a no.