Addressing laziness

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny / house manager, she's been ok, not great. She's in her last 3 months with us because she decided to go back to grad school. She has 12 hours a week the kids aren't home to focus on house stuff, she's never worked nearly as efficiently as our previous person (who powered through all work responsibilities leaving us a spotless well organized space and still had time for breaks for herself. she left b/c she had her own baby) but was ok enough. Lately though, she's gotten incredibly lazy seeming, I'll come home from dropping off the kids at school and find her eating a leisurely breakfast while reading a book when all the breakfast stuff is still out and there's piles of kids laundry. Half the time she gets the bare minimum done and half its left for me. She never gets to the additional responsibilities that were clearly defined (all kid related) that don't have to be done a specific day (like restocking diaper supplies or purging all the half done craft projects). She seems to be constantly sitting and reading and prioritizing preparing long meals for herself during work hours as opposed to doing that before / after work or something quick during work

I really don't think she'd quit at this point and lose the income prior to starting school, but of course she could. I hate paying her $35 / hr to spend hours reading a book while I'm then staying up late to fold mountains of kid laundry she didn't get to for over a week. Would you:

- Say and do nothing at this point - the end of job slack is inevitable and its best to not push is and risk her quitting and throwing our summer into chaos

- raise it broadly "i've noticed that a lot of the regular house manager work isn't getting done. is something going on to make it not feasible in the kid free time available"

- Ask her if she wants some of the kid free hours off unpaid so she has more free time for herself (eg "i imagine you want some time to relax before you're busy with school. if you'd rather have off 3 mornings a week to get your own stuff done rather than be busy with our laundry and organizing, we can definitely make that work)

- Assign her specific tasks to get done during kid free time (which I hate doing but could) eg "after you clean up the kids breakfast stuff, please put away all the craft stuff you guys left out yesterday (i encourage her to have the kids clean up along the way and she doesn't) and fold the kids laundry. if you have a chance please also put away the winter clothes and put the shorts where the kids can reach them" (again i HATE being this type of manager but otherwise basically none of that will get done)

- Wrap up with her early (we have contracted 4 week notice) and find someone else for the summer

I don't expect someone to work like a maniac without breaks, but I do expect that with 12 kid-free paid hours a week and enough free time to bring a book to read during paid hours, someone can easily keep on top of kid related work. she doesn't have any house manager work that isn't specific to the kids

[Anonymous]

My sympathies OP. I’ve had some excellent Nannie’s and some so so ones, and it’s so tough having to pick up the slack in addition to parenting and working full time.

It’s a pain to train someone new, so I’d probably go with micromanaging her a bit more. And also trying to keep perspective. If she’s otherwise loving and good with the kids and trustworthy and safe, that’s worth a lot too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny / house manager, she's been ok, not great. She's in her last 3 months with us because she decided to go back to grad school. She has 12 hours a week the kids aren't home to focus on house stuff, she's never worked nearly as efficiently as our previous person (who powered through all work responsibilities leaving us a spotless well organized space and still had time for breaks for herself. she left b/c she had her own baby) but was ok enough. Lately though, she's gotten incredibly lazy seeming, I'll come home from dropping off the kids at school and find her eating a leisurely breakfast while reading a book when all the breakfast stuff is still out and there's piles of kids laundry. Half the time she gets the bare minimum done and half its left for me. She never gets to the additional responsibilities that were clearly defined (all kid related) that don't have to be done a specific day (like restocking diaper supplies or purging all the half done craft projects). She seems to be constantly sitting and reading and prioritizing preparing long meals for herself during work hours as opposed to doing that before / after work or something quick during work

I really don't think she'd quit at this point and lose the income prior to starting school, but of course she could. I hate paying her $35 / hr to spend hours reading a book while I'm then staying up late to fold mountains of kid laundry she didn't get to for over a week. Would you:

- Say and do nothing at this point - the end of job slack is inevitable and its best to not push is and risk her quitting and throwing our summer into chaos

- raise it broadly "i've noticed that a lot of the regular house manager work isn't getting done. is something going on to make it not feasible in the kid free time available"

- Ask her if she wants some of the kid free hours off unpaid so she has more free time for herself (eg "i imagine you want some time to relax before you're busy with school. if you'd rather have off 3 mornings a week to get your own stuff done rather than be busy with our laundry and organizing, we can definitely make that work)

- Assign her specific tasks to get done during kid free time (which I hate doing but could) eg "after you clean up the kids breakfast stuff, please put away all the craft stuff you guys left out yesterday (i encourage her to have the kids clean up along the way and she doesn't) and fold the kids laundry. if you have a chance please also put away the winter clothes and put the shorts where the kids can reach them" (again i HATE being this type of manager but otherwise basically none of that will get done)

- Wrap up with her early (we have contracted 4 week notice) and find someone else for the summer

I don't expect someone to work like a maniac without breaks, but I do expect that with 12 kid-free paid hours a week and enough free time to bring a book to read during paid hours, someone can easily keep on top of kid related work. she doesn't have any house manager work that isn't specific to the kids

I say try one of these two.

[Anonymous]

I’d just fire her

[Anonymous]

I would ask if she would like the free time unpaid first. See how she reacts.

[Anonymous]

I micromanaged and that worked, but it wasn’t as the job was nearing an end date. I also gave a raise but that only temporarily improved things to A-. Within a month it went to B+ but that was still an improvement.

In your situation I would give her the choice: do X, Y, Z in her downtime or take unpaid time off in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Ask her: Hey is everything ok, I noticed some of the regular stuff you do isn't getting done. Depending on her answer offer her unpaid time or find someone new.

[Anonymous]

I would micromanage. Give her a list of things to do every morning that she can get done during breaks. “Hi! Here are some things we need for you to get done today. Laundry is in the basket. And put away the kids toys.” Every day, a few different things… make a list so she knows what you’re checking for. Don’t make it too long so she can still get a little break.

[Anonymous]

^^ +1

[Anonymous]

Do not make it a broad criticism. Make it specific. I need you to do ____ and get it done before you leave today. Maybe even write it on a list. Be very specific. Goal is to just increase her activity level. Not solve this. As that's not likely at this point. Treat almost as if she were new, not particularly competent and needed initial guidance.

Afraid she is "done" with this job. You and she will limp-along these last 3 months.

[Anonymous]

Micromanage to power through. She doesn't sound NT.