Rising 9th grader, I need guidance as we approach HS

[Anonymous]

Child is athletic and loves to play all the sports in school which child does each season and has this opportunity for HS if we stay. We recently did testing and learned child has adhd (no behavioral issues), has a significant language disorder impacting ability to write and organize thoughts. Child has major Separation anxiety. Recommended Occupational therapy with hand writing, eating etc.
Small class size recommended.
Autism was mentioned as a possibility but not determined after testing. Child refuses meds, needs executive functioning as loses everything daily.

Current school has very small class sizes 10-12 in a class
Child gets to play all sports
Never bullied
caring teachers that child enjoys learning from
I get concerned about the social dynamic of small school. No real friends child wants to connect with. Would prefer to keep to his friends from elementary school on weekends.

We were just offered a spot at an all boys catholic school where we were on waiting list but would come with bigger class with 19-22 kids. Would likely be able to play just one sport but maybe with more kids, I wonder if there would be a better friend group?

I worry though as the other kids at current school welcome my child and never any bullying which may not be case if we change.

Child has no opinion about which school they want to attend. Asked for me to decide.

Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Current school sounds ideal! I don’t think bigger is better! I’d stick with the first one

[Anonymous]

If child has any sort of anxiety, I would really hesitate moving him to bigger. I agree with PP, current school sounds best.

[Anonymous]

OP- are you at St. Anselm’s currently?

[Anonymous]

Seems like we have similar children. Why is he refusing medication? I would keep him at the smaller school if he has no preference.

[Anonymous]

I would stay.

[Anonymous]

Stay

There is no question that is the better option

[Anonymous]

Stay 100%

[Anonymous]

Is it too late for him to do a shadow day? What does the Catholic school say in terms of accomodations?

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. This is helpful.

Catholic school says they can provide support and just cater curriculum to more of the lower level path for that grade with study hall type learning support if needed before school or at lunch.
Uniforms and more structure sound like it could work but also may just not be my child as much as I want it (tuition is less with catholic)

[Anonymous]

Sometimes catholic schools attract parents of special needs kids in hopes they can normalize their child and it could really be a negative experience for your child. Please consider who might embrace all the things and diagnosis’ for your child and find environment that would fit and meet them where they are, regardless of the cost. Easy to say, impossible to do.

[Anonymous]

OP - did your child already have a shadow day at thee new school? How did it go?

[Anonymous]

Does he want more friends? Does he want a fresh start socially? Unless he actively wants to switch, I'd keep him where he is and build in outside activities to broaden his social circle.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t move him if he is doing well and seems happy. It sounds like he doesn’t mind the social situation and you have a really good thing if there’s no bullying. He might feel more lost and anxious in a bigger school. Why rock the boat? I don’t think Catholic schools necessarily do a great job at handling bullying and I don’t think there’s any reason to expect that the kids there would be more accepting.

[Anonymous]

I would stay. Sounds like he isn't unhappy there, so although I get wanting to save money, it might not be worth the headache.

Why is he refusing meds? Can you work with him on that? Has he tried them before or never?