"girl" activities/"boy" activities

[Anonymous]

Anyone noticed a shift in the way our girls are being raised today or is it me? I don't recall being inundated with princess dresses and all these girly things. I had matchbox cars and little people, weebles... nor was everything I wore pink or sparkly.

My daughter's friends all play with princess crap and Barbies. And it's the parents who seem to push their kids in this direction. My kids have the stuff, too. I'm not fanatical about keeping the stuff away from my kids, but truthfully, I think it's annoying.

And the activities? They all have to do ballet, ice skating, gymnastics. My friends wouldn't consider putting their girls in basketball. Soccer seems semi-acceptable, yet there are only three girls out of more than 15 kids on my kid's co-ed soccer team and the other teams seem to have the same ratio. I find it kind of funny that even my friends with these tall, strong girls who love to run and play are pushing them toward sports like gymnastics and ballet, where only pixies and waifs excel.

I don't know if my experiences are representative but it almost seems like some sort of post-feminist backlash. Anyone else notice this?

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of girls in my son's basketball program, and some of the strongest players on his team were girls. (The teams finally separated by gender.)

[Anonymous]

You know, I would've agreed with you until a year ago. I am not a girly-girl and I have never liked Pink, purple, rainbows, unicorns. My dd used to love everything buzz lightyear, but about a year ago, she discovered the 'girly' stuff. My now 5 year old dd LOVES this stuff. she draws rainbows and fairies all the time, only likes 'girl' colors, picks out the pink and purple hand-me-downs over the earth tone stuff, wants to play princess... I have not pushed her in this direction, she found it on her own.
I do plan to put her on soccer and whatever sport she excels in or shows interest in. She gets a lot out of her princess phase - her imagination is great. Also, despite dressing up in dresses and putting on the sparkly shoes, I can't get her out of the dirt. She loves to get down and dirty.

[Anonymous]

EVERYTHING in stores and TV seems so pre-packaged and gender biased. What's with the pre-fab "Princess" and "Bratz" parties? It's like there's only ONE way to be a princess or drive a racecar. Even Legos are mind-numbingly detailed and come in "boy/girl" colors nowadays.

Yes, I understand the business aspects of branding and marketing tie-ins, but can't toys and activities be a little more flexible and less literal? And I realize that once kids get past kindergarten it's a lot about what their peers do. But it sure seems like little kids will naturally mix-n-match toys and activities given the chance.

I was raised to be a feminist in a girls-can-do-anything family. And I CHOSE to be a cheerleader from age 10 after trying lots of things with my older brothers and sisters. Now I confess to being a fashionista-enabler. Love to buy my 5 under 7yo nieces clothes that I would wear if I were 3 feet tall. But our whole family agrees that kids will be kids and tutus can go with with hardhats.

Here's where I'd love advice: I have sons. Gender bias seems to be a bit more intractable with boys. A girl with a Barbie riding a tractor is cute. What about a boy with a Barbie? DH and others don't seem as encouraging when it comes to exposing the boys to "non boy" things.

What's a modern mom to do?

[Anonymous]

I just explained to my son yesterday (2.5) that girls like trucks too. He was insisting that they only play with Barbies and princess stuff because that is all he sees when at his classes, walking around town with us, at a shopping center, or on playdates. This morning he told his dad that "girls like trucks and tractors too, daddy." He is starting soccer soon (only child mostly for socialization and getting to play in a big ole group) and there are an equal number of girls signed up for the field time too. Perhaps I'm sensitive to it myself because I'm not much of a girly girl, nor a tom-boy, just a girl who likes dresses and trucks (and a great deal in between).

[Anonymous]

You have to hand it to Disney for marketing their princesses so extraordinarily well. I hate all the girly stuff now. But back when, I was the type of girl who wore dresses when she climbed trees, loved legos, and chose pink ruffles for her room. My parents didn't allow me to have dolls though (well, one or two snuck in) and bought me a nice big Tonka dumptruck. I think we can teach our kids that their choice of colors doesn't limit their possibilities. But we do have to give them a wide range of options. I only have sons to run my social experiments on, and it's hard there too -- superheroes and pirates are for boys what princesses are for girls -- the all too limiting, too stereotypical outlets for their imaginations.

[Anonymous]

As the mother of two boys, I am always amazed when I go shopping for them, how much more of the store is dedicated to girls' clothes. I buy a lot of stuff at Old Navy and there is a small area dedicated to boys' clothes and a whole section filled with dresses, cute tops, capris, etc. for girls. The colors for boys are all so drab, too. My son has so much blue and green and grey, it is sickening! I was at Carters the other week and they actually had polo shirts for boys in pink which I thought were really cute, but I knew my son wouldn't go for it. So, it goes both ways. For the pp who wrote about raising sons I feel your pain! the other day my son was watching something on tv and it had a girl on it who was dancing ballet. She kept talking about ballerinas, and my son (he is almost 3) said he wanted to be a ballerina. I said, no, boys can't be ballerinas, but they could be ballet dancers. Luckily, his father wasn't there at the time because I know he would have had some comment about that! It is definitely a challenge!