How much time do you and your spouse spend together in a day?
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Anonymous
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My husband and I live in a small apartment. I usually hangout in the living room and he hangs out in his “man cave” where he plays video games or watches movies.
During the weekday, I wake up earlier than him and I sit at my table in the bedroom where I work from 8-5 pm. Usually he’ll wake up, give me a kiss and go to his office/man cave to work. Around noon I head out to either pick up a salad from Wegmans or grab a quick lunch with him. I continue working until 5ish. Either I go to barre class or I begin prepping dinner. He’ll help me prep dinner or sometimes make his dinner after mine as he is on a specific diet for gastrointestinal issues. After dinner, I’ll sit on the couch and scroll TikTok and then go to bed. He’ll go hide away in his man cave doing god knows what. I go to bed earlier than him. He’ll come to bed around 1 am while I go to sleep around 9:30 am. Wondering if this is normal and how much time other childless couples spend together during the week. What about on the weekend? |
Anonymous
| Troll |
Anonymous
| Not a troll- this is me and my DH married 20+ years. We do spend more time together on the weekends maybe walking the dog or having coffee together or a meal. But not much. This summer we are looking at more time together b/c he has some outrageous destinations for work trips that I don’t want to miss - but he will be busy mostly and I’ll be on my own. |
Anonymous
| On a typical days it’s around an hour at breakfast and an hour at dinner. We’ll chat a few times during the course of the day but we are both on the go. We always go to bed at the same time. We will do things together on weekends be it sports or nights out. We have our own hobbies and our TV interests are different. We are heading on vacation for ten days this weekend so we will have plenty of time together. |
Anonymous
| It's usually 2 or so hours. I will usually go and sit with him in the living room and watch TV or be on my phone while he plays xbox. |
Anonymous
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We spend a ton of time together, or at least try to, always have.
If he's going into the office, he wakes up before me, gets ready and is out the door before I'm up. Then he's back around 530pm, and we will chill together for the rest of the night. Usually making dinner together, watching tv together or going for a walk, go to bed at the same time. If he's WFH then he still wakes up before me, but only like 15-30m. He will have made coffee, so I'll come down and we will hang out together. We usually work in the same area unless one of us has a meeting, so we are literally together for almost the entire work day. At lunch sometimes we will go for a walk, go grab something for lunch, or grab groceries for dinner. On the weekends, we again spend almost all our time together. One of us will usually get up earlier than the other and head downstairs and tidy up, get coffee going, watch a show until the other comes down. Then we will go do chores if we have them, for example last weekend we went to home depot to grab some lawn stuff. Then we grabbed some lunch and headed home, did chores, watched some movies and sports. I try to book my girl-time for the days where he is working, so I get home not long after him. He will sometimes have his boys nights, generally a weekend evening, but that's maybe once every other month or so. We also go on frequent vacations where we are together 24/7. I think people probably think it's too much time together, but we love it. It's not like we drag each other to our separate hang out events or can never be apart. We just prefer to be together. |
Anonymous
| ^^ I should add that even when we are apart we are generally texting sporadically the entire time. So work, while out with friends, with family etc. |
Anonymous
why would anybody accuse of OP of being a troll? |
Anonymous
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You've been married 20 years. WTF do you want to do together? Seriously, seems like you two are doing stuff you like on your own then hanging out throughout the day. Sounds like you want a honeymoon phase again.
Welcome to reality. Also, you sitting on your butt scrolling through social media....maybe that's a reason you two don't "hang out" as much. |
Anonymous
Np here. We have kids but our lives are similar to OP’s. During the week we wake up, divvy up getting kids dressed and too school (typically his jobs) and packing lunches / backpacks / signing permission slips etc (typically my job). He actually starts work about 6:30 am and then takes a break for this. I start about 8:30. We both work at home in different rooms. He does after care pickup (about 5:30) and / or drives to soccer practices or our younger daughter’s therapy while I wrap up my day and cook dinner. Depending on older DD’s soccer schedule we try to eat together but about 3 nights a week it’s just me and younger DD. My husband will text me memes he’s seen or stop by during my work day to get my opinion on something. After dinner we will sometimes play a game or watch a show as a family, then he handles things like laundry or grocery shopping while I typically am the person tidying the kitchen. (I also handle bills, classroom events, bday parties etc) It varies if it’s bath night who does that for our younger daughter. We then each read to a child / tuck them in (alternating) and we’re done about 9 pm. Most nights we then do our own thing. Some nights we’re intentional about reading in bed together or being intimate. We’ve started scheduling walks together a few days a week and eat lunch together about once every two weeks. We hang out in the evenings if we plan it ahead of time (he’ll even text “wanna hang out tonight?”) I’m very extroverted so about once every two weeks (give or take) I go out on a weeknight with my friends. He’s more introverted. On weekends we do more as a family but often it’s me taking the girls somewhere. When we do slow down and connect he’s still a wonderful friend and a very passionate partner so I miss him sometimes 
We visited some friends last weekend who had other friends over and the people we met were asking my husband a bunch of questions about his area of expertise. Although I had a general understanding I hadn’t known what questions to ask and it was so fun to realize there’s still a lot to know / learn after 26 years together. |
Anonymous
Because they woke up on the ugly side of hateful. There's always one that s**** on a thread. |
Anonymous
| As little as I possibly can. Not a troll |