Struggles of immigrant parents

[Anonymous]

What are your struggles? What lessons did you learn and would want others to benefit from?

[Anonymous]

No immigrant parents? Adults with immigrant parents?

[Anonymous]

Who do you imagine immigrants to be, OP?

In my neck of the woods, they're incredibly educated people with fancy jobs and money who pay a lot of attention to their children's academics and general wellbeing.

Where I used to live, it was a lot of low-income immigrants who might or might not be too busy to care about how their kids did in school, or know how to help them if they failed or got into trouble.

The "cultural shock" of coming here from abroad and raising American kids is going to be significantly alleviated by education and money.

Not saying I didn't have a steep learning curve, coming to the US! But I can't complain when I see what other poor, uneducated, parents are going through. It's a whole other world.

[Anonymous]

I'm the child of immigrant parents so not exactly the target of your question.

My mom thought assimilating effectively and raising her kids like every other American kid meant she needed to reject her entire culture. Refused to let us learn the language and discouraged us from going to cultural community events. But she could never shake off the only life she knew - the social norms, expectations and practices. They were so engrained in her but I don't think she realized it. She thought she was American as apple pie but she just could never be. I wish she just accepted that.

This made it tough for me and my three siblings. We were the odd ducks among our dozens of cousins whose parents let them embrace the culture we came from while still respecting the culture in the US. And we were supposed to be American kids, but with standards of our culture that often clashed with our peers.

[Anonymous]

If you came 80 years ago or 8 years ago, your experiences count. Even if you are fourth generation immigrant, generational experiences shape you differently than natives who never lived anywhere else. I feel at some level people whose parents or grandparents moved from rural areas to big cities go through the same experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you came 80 years ago or 8 years ago, your experiences count. Even if you are fourth generation immigrant, generational experiences shape you differently than natives who never lived anywhere else. I feel at some level people whose parents or grandparents moved from rural areas to big cities go through the same experiences.

Totally agree. I bonded with a friend over the similarities between her rural West Virginia family and my eastern European immigrant family.

[Anonymous]

The struggle was being illegal for over a decade. I got my work permit right before the economic down turn. Getting a new job, any job, during that time was very difficult.
It took me 17 years to get my Bachelors for example. I also missed the property ladder, and decades of saving for retirement. So many opportunities went by and I couldn't do anything about it.
I think the struggles are very different and depend on so many things. I already spoke English and picked up Spanish here fairly fast.
My degree ended up being in Finance and I'm latest investment made me financially free.
I have not been treated badly by Americans because of my accent or questioned whether I was allowed to be in the country. The way I look probably helps a lot.
I work with immigrants from all over the world. They have totally different struggles.