Husband appears to be addicted to computer games

[Anonymous]

My husband loves playing world of warcraft and occasionally other computer games. He would play every night, late into the night, if he didn't think it bothered me. Basically any free time he has he wants to play. Anyone else experience this? I'd like to spend more quality time with him and not have computer games interfere in our relationship. Has anyone "overcome" this? Thanks

[Anonymous]

did you ever consider that your husband is a dork before you married him?

[Anonymous]

My husband too. He is always on his IPad and he is so intense that I always think he is "working" or reading CNN or something like that (he would strike you as that type if you met him) but anytime I walk up to him bc the kids and I are being neglected to look over his shoulder - he is ALWAYS playing scrabble. UGH!

[aprilmayjune]

My husband plays diablo. He played call of duty before that. He enjoys it and it helps him to destress and relax, and it's a hobby with him. It takes away a little bit from quality time, but he is more relaxed because I don't give him a hard time for doing something that he enjoys. You say that he'd do it every night late into the night if he didn't think that it bothered you, so it sounds (and I may be wrong but I'm just reading into what you wrote) that he's already considering your feelings, or feels that he is. How much exactly does he play? If I see my husband getting ready to play, and I need or want him for something else, I just let him know ahead of time that I'd like it if he waited a little while because... This works for us.. But how much does he actually play?

[Anonymous]

At least it's not porn...

[Anonymous]

If you can't beat them, join them! I love world of warcraft and play frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can't beat them, join them! I love world of warcraft and play frequently.

ITA, my husband is always playing brick-breaker and now we take turns and i am trying to beat his high score. Also agree that he could be doing worse things.

[Anonymous]

Is the concern that he's playing with other people and forming relationships with them, and neglecting you and the kids? Is he not able to function the next day? If he was up say reading a book, would you have the same reaction?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I agreed on both time limits and behavior around games: there was a time (more than a decade ago now) when I'd walk into the room to get something, he'd get distracted, and then he'd be yelling at me about "making him lose/die." Not acceptable!

Now, he doesn't play multi-player online games because of the cost (in constant hardware and software upgrades, in addition to the subscriptions), which is something we agreed on in our financial priorities. Now that they've been phased out (which was hard, and was like breaking an addiction) he himself can't really imagine the time sink that they used to be.

No specific advice, really, except to say that if the time and money and behavior are unacceptable, you need to raise each of those points. You should each have a certain amount of alone/personal time in your family, and if he wants to spend that time playing games, that could be okay. But that should be defined -- x hours on y day -- just like going golfing with the guys or going out for beers would be a defined event. You should get equal time on your own each week, and when he is on kid duty he should not be playing games and ignoring them. And, of course, poor behavior toward you or the kids (blaming, crabbing, yelling) that arises from the game (or interruptions to the game, in my experience) should just simply not be tolerated.