8th Grade DD falling apart

[Anonymous]

DD has gone from a sweet, popular girl with sports, clubs, and honor roll to a straight up baddy. I suspect she vapes, she's dating a rebel type boy and is just letting everything slip. How do we stop this train?? She says she's in love. She has new friends now. Doesn't seem as into her sport or clubs though we still insist she attend. Before anyone blames our parenting, we have clear boundaries and those are respected but we don't know how to control the crowd she's selecting to be with - in the name of love!!! lol

[Anonymous]

The vaping is a non starter in my house.

Search her room and her things.

If you figure out she’s vaping, she loses all privileges. Goes to school and activities and that’s it. No phone.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I’d be lol’ing about an 8th grader vaping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has gone from a sweet, popular girl with sports, clubs, and honor roll to a straight up baddy. I suspect she vapes, she's dating a rebel type boy and is just letting everything slip. How do we stop this train?? She says she's in love. She has new friends now. Doesn't seem as into her sport or clubs though we still insist she attend. Before anyone blames our parenting, we have clear boundaries and those are respected but we don't know how to control the crowd she's selecting to be with - in the name of love!!! lol

I am glad you put the part about not blaming your parenting. It seems like it just makes some people's day to pile on and blast people, especially when they can do so anonymously. Kids are kids. As a long time teacher and as a parent myself, I have seen time and time again kids who grow up in the same household choose vastly different paths. Your daughter is caught up in "love" and any attempt to dissuade her is probably going to make her bristle and claim that YOU are the one who doesn't get it.
I guess the crappy thing is that nobody can really help ya because the dynamic between parents and their kids is so unique. Somebody will, however, most likely come here and blame you. Screw em

[Anonymous]

Will she go to a different high school than bad bf in the fall?

[Anonymous]

Have her pee in a cup. Tell her you are going to check for al drugs, weed, and vapes. Say I will give you one chance to come clean and tell the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has gone from a sweet, popular girl with sports, clubs, and honor roll to a straight up baddy. I suspect she vapes, she's dating a rebel type boy and is just letting everything slip. How do we stop this train?? She says she's in love. She has new friends now. Doesn't seem as into her sport or clubs though we still insist she attend. Before anyone blames our parenting, we have clear boundaries and those are respected but we don't know how to control the crowd she's selecting to be with - in the name of love!!! lol

I am glad you put the part about not blaming your parenting. It seems like it just makes some people's day to pile on and blast people, especially when they can do so anonymously. Kids are kids. As a long time teacher and as a parent myself, I have seen time and time again kids who grow up in the same household choose vastly different paths. Your daughter is caught up in "love" and any attempt to dissuade her is probably going to make her bristle and claim that YOU are the one who doesn't get it.
I guess the crappy thing is that nobody can really help ya because the dynamic between parents and their kids is so unique. Somebody will, however, most likely come here and blame you. Screw em

I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has gone from a sweet, popular girl with sports, clubs, and honor roll to a straight up baddy. I suspect she vapes, she's dating a rebel type boy and is just letting everything slip. How do we stop this train?? She says she's in love. She has new friends now. Doesn't seem as into her sport or clubs though we still insist she attend. Before anyone blames our parenting, we have clear boundaries and those are respected but we don't know how to control the crowd she's selecting to be with - in the name of love!!! lol

Well clearly you don't, or your boundaries need reexamining, if she's vaping and dating as an 8th grader.

[Anonymous]

Start with nicotine/marijuana saliva test strips off Amazon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will she go to a different high school than bad bf in the fall?

+1

She'll be changing schools next year - this is a change you need to steer. If they will all be going to the same high school, it's time to make a change. Magnet (possibly too late to apply), transfer, maybe even a short move in the area to be in-bounds to another school?

[Anonymous]

Dating in 8th grade????

[Anonymous]

OP here---I said "suspect she vapes". I have found nothing in her room. Rumor has it that the boy does so I imagine she does too.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the boy, clamp down hard on the vaping. Test her, ground her, monitor her phone, whatever.
If you can keep her very busy and away from the boy this summer, good chance the relationship dies on its own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here---I said "suspect she vapes". I have found nothing in her room. Rumor has it that the boy does so I imagine she does too.

Ugh what a nasty boy. Who wants to kiss someone who tastes like bubble gum flavored polypropylene

Why did you LOL? Does anyone in your family vape?

What does dating mean, are they going out after school, weekends?

Is she on birth control? I mean there are a series of bad choices here… but maybe bad boy who vapes is saving himself for marriage.

[Anonymous]

She has her first boyfriend. Does OP remember her first? OP probably felt like she was in love too. Only to think about how silly it all was. Having a boyfriend is not just about having butterflies inside, it's about status. OP's daughter is a "real young woman" now and she can one-up her friends and peers by having this total bad boy bf. He's like having a Versace purse. And he's got her wrapped around his finger. If he tells her to vape, she'll vape. If he tells her to smoke weed to show she loves him, she'll smoke week. Get her on BC soon, OP!

The bf is everything!