Private school switch for DD’s friend

[Anonymous]

My eight year old DD’s friend is going to catholic school next year from their public. She is telling DD that she is going there to get a better education because our elementary is bad and that if we had more money we would do the same. I know the parents very well. Would you say something to the parents? I would want to know if my kid was saying that but I imagine the kid got it from somewhere…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My eight year old DD’s friend is going to catholic school next year from their public. She is telling DD that she is going there to get a better education because our elementary is bad and that if we had more money we would do the same. I know the parents very well. Would you say something to the parents? I would want to know if my kid was saying that but I imagine the kid got it from somewhere…

The child is obviously repeating what her parents are telling her. What sort of response are you hoping for if you contact them?

[Anonymous]

No, she's leaving. Let it go on a good note. Talk to your DD if she needs reassuring.

[Anonymous]

Eh meh. I'd tell your DD that this is just their opinion, they're entitled to it, but you disagree. I'd explain that families make decisions about where to spend money and that's a choice as well. Tell her that her school is fine but that friend's parents are allowed to believe this other school will be better for friend for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

You could tell her that you don’t entrust Catholics with your children’s well-being and see how the parents like that…

I’m not serious but it’s baffling to me that parents can feel high and mighty about a choice like that. It may be a superior education in certain ways but there’s a moral price to pay for everyone involved after decades of systematic child abuse

[Anonymous]

Don’t be too hard on the parents. My kids have said some clueless tactless things over the years. It takes kids a long time to build the social skills to deal with a complex social situation.

Even as an adult the situation where you are doing something different than a friend or colleague because you think it’s better is always tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could tell her that you don’t entrust Catholics with your children’s well-being and see how the parents like that…

I’m not serious but it’s baffling to me that parents can feel high and mighty about a choice like that. It may be a superior education in certain ways but there’s a moral price to pay for everyone involved after decades of systematic child abuse

Is it actually better??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could tell her that you don’t entrust Catholics with your children’s well-being and see how the parents like that…

I’m not serious but it’s baffling to me that parents can feel high and mighty about a choice like that. It may be a superior education in certain ways but there’s a moral price to pay for everyone involved after decades of systematic child abuse

Welcome to Catholic school and Catholic school parents.

[Anonymous]

We moved from a low SES to a high SES school for better schools. While I wouldn’t say it to the parents of those who still live there, we moved for better schools.

The kids got that attitude from the parents.

[Anonymous]

The kid is changing schools, which is HARD. Her parents had to sell her on the idea. Also, obviously they believe it’s a better school and she’ll get a better education. That’s why they are having her change schools. The part about your daughter changing schools too if she had the money is probably an 8 year old’s twist on what her parents told her in response to her asking, “if the new school is better, why can’t all my friends come with me?” Let is go, OP. And have some empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid is changing schools, which is HARD. Her parents had to sell her on the idea. Also, obviously they believe it’s a better school and she’ll get a better education. That’s why they are having her change schools. The part about your daughter changing schools too if she had the money is probably an 8 year old’s twist on what her parents told her in response to her asking, “if the new school is better, why can’t all my friends come with me?” Let is go, OP. And have some empathy.

+1 This is exactly what happened.
I moved my son to Catholic school in 2nd grade. He was very upset about having to switch schools so I had to sell it! And he wanted to know if the school was so good, why aren't his friends going there? Because it costs money. I told him not to talk about it with his old friends and I hope he wasn't that insensitive but children aren't exactly tactful.

[Anonymous]

No, do not say something to the parents. This kid is coping with the change. You have no idea the reasons why they made this decision. Kids get things out of context all the time. My kid went to a private from public for a reason they did not want to share with their friends, and the stories I overheard them tell were some version of the truth but not what we told them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My eight year old DD’s friend is going to catholic school next year from their public. She is telling DD that she is going there to get a better education because our elementary is bad and that if we had more money we would do the same. I know the parents very well. Would you say something to the parents? I would want to know if my kid was saying that but I imagine the kid got it from somewhere…

They likely told the kid they are going there for a better educational opportunity. Kids don't understand the nuance of what that may mean, so they simplify in their kid mind that their current school is bad. Then kid says why can't my friends go, and parents say something like - not all families want to pay extra $ for a private school. Kids are not reliable narrators. Let it go OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is changing schools, which is HARD. Her parents had to sell her on the idea. Also, obviously they believe it’s a better school and she’ll get a better education. That’s why they are having her change schools. The part about your daughter changing schools too if she had the money is probably an 8 year old’s twist on what her parents told her in response to her asking, “if the new school is better, why can’t all my friends come with me?” Let is go, OP. And have some empathy.

+1 This is exactly what happened.
I moved my son to Catholic school in 2nd grade. He was very upset about having to switch schools so I had to sell it! And he wanted to know if the school was so good, why aren't his friends going there? Because it costs money. I told him not to talk about it with his old friends and I hope he wasn't that insensitive but children aren't exactly tactful.

You have to sell it by disparaging others? Some values you’re teaching your kids.

[Anonymous]

There is a cohort of kids who leave our public after 8th grade to go to a mediocre Catholic HS. It is 100% for sports and to avoid poor brown kids. And I tell my own kids that is EXACTLY the reason their friends are leaving. It is objectively not a better school, has fewer AP options, and doesn't send its graduates to any better colleges.