Private school switch for DD’s friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could tell her that you don’t entrust Catholics with your children’s well-being and see how the parents like that…

I’m not serious but it’s baffling to me that parents can feel high and mighty about a choice like that. It may be a superior education in certain ways but there’s a moral price to pay for everyone involved after decades of systematic child abuse

It’s likely that the parents told their child that catholic school is better and not everyone can afford it. But you never know. It could be that the kid overhead her parents. It could be that another kid from catholic told her this. It could be that the kid was unwilling to change schools and this was the story to convince her to go. This is going to be a constant refrain. My kids are in private and have many friends in public. We navigate it the best we can, but there’s always some tension around the notion of “what, is public not good enough?”. My friends with kids in both public and private are the best at understanding this. There is a similar tension between families who send their kids to the local private and families who send their kids to boarding school - “what, is private school xxx not good enough for you?”. Just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a cohort of kids who leave our public after 8th grade to go to a mediocre Catholic HS. It is 100% for sports and to avoid poor brown kids. And I tell my own kids that is EXACTLY the reason their friends are leaving. It is objectively not a better school, has fewer AP options, and doesn't send its graduates to any better colleges.

Lmao. Whatever helps you sleep well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a cohort of kids who leave our public after 8th grade to go to a mediocre Catholic HS. It is 100% for sports and to avoid poor brown kids. And I tell my own kids that is EXACTLY the reason their friends are leaving. It is objectively not a better school, has fewer AP options, and doesn't send its graduates to any better colleges.

Lmao. Whatever helps you sleep well.

+1 way to make kids think hateful things that aren't true. Why would anyone spread such nasty rumors?

[Anonymous]

I mean she told the truth, catholic school education is more academically rigorous than private. I would just tell your kid that there are a lot of education options, and then reiterate what you like about your public school and remind her that others may have different priorities.

My kid went to catholic then switched to public because he needed special services and the catholic school couldnt handle his iep. His catholic school friends said "why are you leaving" and he made something up about needing change and being closer to home. The truth is all families make decisions that are best for them. If youre angry about that that reflects on you not them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean she told the truth, catholic school education is more academically rigorous than private. I would just tell your kid that there are a lot of education options, and then reiterate what you like about your public school and remind her that others may have different priorities.

My kid went to catholic then switched to public because he needed special services and the catholic school couldnt handle his iep. His catholic school friends said "why are you leaving" and he made something up about needing change and being closer to home. The truth is all families make decisions that are best for them. If youre angry about that that reflects on you not them.

Sorry meant than public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could tell her that you don’t entrust Catholics with your children’s well-being and see how the parents like that…

I’m not serious but it’s baffling to me that parents can feel high and mighty about a choice like that. It may be a superior education in certain ways but there’s a moral price to pay for everyone involved after decades of systematic child abuse

No there isn’t. Not any more than there’s a moral price to pay for us as Americans to underwrite the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people through our disastrous foreign policies, anbsurd annd ill advised interventions and failed wars! We stay in this country and try to fix it from the inside out and be proud Americans advocating for our country to live up to its promise the SAME WAY we do as Catholics, staying in our faith and church and fixing it from the inside, following the way of God, not as aiding and abetting the evil crimes of the past but as restoration and rebuilding, to a better day to live up to its promise of greatness and guidance. The catholic education is amazing and vastly superior to public. And we would indeed send our kids to one if we weren’t in such a spectacular public school district where our kids are extremely happy and flourishing (Wootton cluster, MCPS).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, she's leaving. Let it go on a good note. Talk to your DD if she needs reassuring.

Yes agree. We do this when our kids’ friends imply this to them when they leave MCPS for a private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a cohort of kids who leave our public after 8th grade to go to a mediocre Catholic HS. It is 100% for sports and to avoid poor brown kids. And I tell my own kids that is EXACTLY the reason their friends are leaving. It is objectively not a better school, has fewer AP options, and doesn't send its graduates to any better colleges.

Lmao. Whatever helps you sleep well.

+1 way to make kids think hateful things that aren't true. Why would anyone spread such nasty rumors?

It is true and its not rumors. I just say the quiet part out loud to my kids. The parents who are leaving admit this is why they are leaving. Many of them are not even Catholic. And its totally predictable which families will leave and which ones will stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a cohort of kids who leave our public after 8th grade to go to a mediocre Catholic HS. It is 100% for sports and to avoid poor brown kids. And I tell my own kids that is EXACTLY the reason their friends are leaving. It is objectively not a better school, has fewer AP options, and doesn't send its graduates to any better colleges.

+1000000000000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could tell her that you don’t entrust Catholics with your children’s well-being and see how the parents like that…

I’m not serious but it’s baffling to me that parents can feel high and mighty about a choice like that. It may be a superior education in certain ways but there’s a moral price to pay for everyone involved after decades of systematic child abuse

No there isn’t. Not any more than there’s a moral price to pay for us as Americans to underwrite the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people through our disastrous foreign policies, anbsurd annd ill advised interventions and failed wars! We stay in this country and try to fix it from the inside out and be proud Americans advocating for our country to live up to its promise the SAME WAY we do as Catholics, staying in our faith and church and fixing it from the inside, following the way of God, not as aiding and abetting the evil crimes of the past but as restoration and rebuilding, to a better day to live up to its promise of greatness and guidance. The catholic education is amazing and vastly superior to public. And we would indeed send our kids to one if we weren’t in such a spectacular public school district where our kids are extremely happy and flourishing (Wootton cluster, MCPS).

Wrong
You are literally paying to keep pedos free.

And as for a great education try again factually not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from a low SES to a high SES school for better schools. While I wouldn’t say it to the parents of those who still live there, we moved for better schools.

The kids got that attitude from the parents.

I agree the kid is parrotting the parents' opinion.

I live far from DMV and am committed to public schools. However, I believe the Catholic schools my acquaintances use were more functional as 3Rs schools during the pandemic. I also believe that the Catholic schools are avoiding some of the nonsense trends going through public schools right now. For example, I'm not totally opposed to it, but in my experience restorative justice isn't working as a corrective philosophy in practice.

Therefore in a way, I feel that this little girl is reflecting a point that might be rude but might also have merit. At the same time, I still wouldn't send my kid to Catholic school because where I live, it is still heavily religious compared to some Catholic schools that contain less Catholic content. So it's not really suitable for the "Hey, I dropped in because my public school is a mess" crowd.

I would tell my child that her school is good and that "best" depends on the student not just the school. I would explain that I had the money but we are not Catholic so it isn't the best school for us. And I would tell her that you two can be a team to learn anything she doesn't get to study at school or has trouble understanding.

I definitely would not confront the other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could tell her that you don’t entrust Catholics with your children’s well-being and see how the parents like that…

I’m not serious but it’s baffling to me that parents can feel high and mighty about a choice like that. It may be a superior education in certain ways but there’s a moral price to pay for everyone involved after decades of systematic child abuse

No there isn’t. Not any more than there’s a moral price to pay for us as Americans to underwrite the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people through our disastrous foreign policies, anbsurd annd ill advised interventions and failed wars! We stay in this country and try to fix it from the inside out and be proud Americans advocating for our country to live up to its promise the SAME WAY we do as Catholics, staying in our faith and church and fixing it from the inside, following the way of God, not as aiding and abetting the evil crimes of the past but as restoration and rebuilding, to a better day to live up to its promise of greatness and guidance. The catholic education is amazing and vastly superior to public. And we would indeed send our kids to one if we weren’t in such a spectacular public school district where our kids are extremely happy and flourishing (Wootton cluster, MCPS).

Wrong
You are literally paying to keep pedos free.

And as for a great education try again factually not true.

You are wrong. Catch up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a cohort of kids who leave our public after 8th grade to go to a mediocre Catholic HS. It is 100% for sports and to avoid poor brown kids. And I tell my own kids that is EXACTLY the reason their friends are leaving. It is objectively not a better school, has fewer AP options, and doesn't send its graduates to any better colleges.

Fascinating. All the parents told you “We are leaving because we don’t want our kids with the poor brown kids?”
Lmao. Whatever helps you sleep well.

+1 way to make kids think hateful things that aren't true. Why would anyone spread such nasty rumors?

It is true and its not rumors. I just say the quiet part out loud to my kids. The parents who are leaving admit this is why they are leaving. Many of them are not even Catholic. And its totally predictable which families will leave and which ones will stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a cohort of kids who leave our public after 8th grade to go to a mediocre Catholic HS. It is 100% for sports and to avoid poor brown kids. And I tell my own kids that is EXACTLY the reason their friends are leaving. It is objectively not a better school, has fewer AP options, and doesn't send its graduates to any better colleges.

Fascinating. All the parents actually told you “We are leaving because we don’t want our kids around the poor brown kids”?
Lmao. Whatever helps you sleep well.

+1 way to make kids think hateful things that aren't true. Why would anyone spread such nasty rumors?

It is true and its not rumors. I just say the quiet part out loud to my kids. The parents who are leaving admit this is why they are leaving. Many of them are not even Catholic. And its totally predictable which families will leave and which ones will stay.

[Anonymous]

Op, do not promote this friendship. Your DD is your first responsibility. Your DD will be stronger, more confident and happier if she develops best friends at her current school. The friend behavior or what she said is not shocking or unexpected. It's ordinary talk between kids/students and adults trying to enforce what they should or shouldn't say isn't going to change the underlining relationship dynamic. Not useful to bring this up with the Mother.