Parents of 5th graders - let’s talk

[Anonymous]

How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

[Anonymous]

I see fewer effects in my 5th grader’s class than in my 8th grader’s class.

[Anonymous]

I teach that age-group and yes; the changes are profound. Not in every kid, but in a very significant cohort.

[Anonymous]

My kid seems okay. She was never particularly mature even before the pandemic, but she's come a long way in the last two years. I supplemented a lot during Covid, so she's far ahead academically.

Her close friends also seem okay. They all seem to have caught up.

I do hear stories of unruly 5th grade boys, but my recollection is that 5th grade boys have always been unruly. I think some kids are still behind academically, but I think most of those kids have learning challenges and may have been behind anyways. It's hard to tell how much of it was a Covid impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see fewer effects in my 5th grader’s class than in my 8th grader’s class.

I've heard this from other parents with kids those ages. It sounds like math and social development were both heavily impacted.

[Anonymous]

I feel like every parent who has kids with issues attributes them to the lockdown; whatever the age. I don’t see how staying at home for a year can alter every generation of kids so much. And if it was lockdown, why is it your kid and not all the kids in your kid’s grade?

I think that when we are seeing immaturity and learning difficulties across age groups it has as much to do with parenting, copious screens at home, and copious screens in school. Many parents think they’re “on” their children’s behaviors, but they aren’t. They let many many MANY things go and favor their children instead of the good of the group. If we went back to the school days before smart boards in the classroom and chromebooks in every hand, we would see better behavior. If kids weren’t handed iPhones at the store and iPads at restaurants to keep them quiet they would be better off. I don’t think it was the lockdown, I think it was the shift in parenting that came with it and that hasn’t gone back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like every parent who has kids with issues attributes them to the lockdown; whatever the age. I don’t see how staying at home for a year can alter every generation of kids so much. And if it was lockdown, why is it your kid and not all the kids in your kid’s grade?

I think that when we are seeing immaturity and learning difficulties across age groups it has as much to do with parenting, copious screens at home, and copious screens in school. Many parents think they’re “on” their children’s behaviors, but they aren’t. They let many many MANY things go and favor their children instead of the good of the group. If we went back to the school days before smart boards in the classroom and chromebooks in every hand, we would see better behavior. If kids weren’t handed iPhones at the store and iPads at restaurants to keep them quiet they would be better off. I don’t think it was the lockdown, I think it was the shift in parenting that came with it and that hasn’t gone back.

The bolded is an argument in favor of Covid having a significant impact, in my opinion. It was a major stressor event for some (but not all) parents, similar to a job loss or divorce, so heavily impacted how some people parented. And it causes many kids to be in screens much more often during the duration of school closures/hybrid schedules than they would have been otherwise -- some kids were using screens for school, entertainment, and socializing for the duration of social distancing, which for some places lasted a full year. If that happened during a key developmental time, I could see it having a long-term impact. Especially if combined with parents having their own mental health crises (these spiked during Covid).

I think my own kid weathered this ok but can understand why many kids might be struggling.

[Anonymous]

I actually think in general our kids age group was the least impacted overall. I know it’s kid to kid dependent, but in general.
I have a young 11yo DD in 6th. Covid happened in 2nd, I homeschooled for 3rd ( not a teacher but used a combination of Pinterest and workbooks) to keel her engaged and learning. She started a new school in person for 4th thru now. She isn’t got diagnosed with adhd but I don’t think the delay is Covid related.
I think the teens suffered the most during Covid, followed by the very young kids, those that should have been in preschool/K/1st. At the time.

[Anonymous]

No. Not really. I don’t think the pandemic was a big deal for my kids. They go to Catholic school, so other than spring 2020, they were mostly back in the classroom starting fall 2020, albeit with a lot of changes. Plus, they were at an age where they still liked being with us. And I supplemented their work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like every parent who has kids with issues attributes them to the lockdown; whatever the age. I don’t see how staying at home for a year can alter every generation of kids so much. And if it was lockdown, why is it your kid and not all the kids in your kid’s grade?

I think that when we are seeing immaturity and learning difficulties across age groups it has as much to do with parenting, copious screens at home, and copious screens in school. Many parents think they’re “on” their children’s behaviors, but they aren’t. They let many many MANY things go and favor their children instead of the good of the group. If we went back to the school days before smart boards in the classroom and chromebooks in every hand, we would see better behavior. If kids weren’t handed iPhones at the store and iPads at restaurants to keep them quiet they would be better off. I don’t think it was the lockdown, I think it was the shift in parenting that came with it and that hasn’t gone back.

The bolded is an argument in favor of Covid having a significant impact, in my opinion. It was a major stressor event for some (but not all) parents, similar to a job loss or divorce, so heavily impacted how some people parented. And it causes many kids to be in screens much more often during the duration of school closures/hybrid schedules than they would have been otherwise -- some kids were using screens for school, entertainment, and socializing for the duration of social distancing, which for some places lasted a full year. If that happened during a key developmental time, I could see it having a long-term impact. Especially if combined with parents having their own mental health crises (these spiked during Covid).

I think my own kid weathered this ok but can understand why many kids might be struggling.

I agree that covid necessitated more screens at the time. But kids have been back in school for 2 years now, longer than the covid shutdown. And kids are screen obsessed. And they are on them a lot. At home and school. I am a teacher and I’m anti-screen. I do as much as I can on paper. But when 5th graders have their own phones and have tik tok and YouTube and constant access to social media—it’s destroying their mental health and their ability to sustain their attention…yet parents are afraid to take the phones away. There’s also a victim mentality culture right now (amongst adults), which feels exacerbated by social media. We complain about work being too much, we complain about the weather, we complain how the past changed everything. Teachers (and like I said, I am one) are complaining more than ever. Is it hard? Yes! But I feel like the complaining is making it worse. And we need solutions, not more complaining. Same with people who feel Covid messed up their kid. Sure there are some who were more profoundly affected than others. But please don’t discount the screens and lax parenting and shift from unstructured play to structured activities and sports teams being the focal point of many kids lives. And…nobody knows it their child would have had these same problems had Covid not happened. Depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, etc all existed before Covid.

It’s time to move on and stop blaming and start thinking of solutions. What can we do to get kids back on track? How can we hold boundaries so they feel safe? How can we have high expectations of them, while also letting them play and be children. My first suggestion is to take away their phones. And stop the chromebooks in school except for special occasions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like every parent who has kids with issues attributes them to the lockdown; whatever the age. I don’t see how staying at home for a year can alter every generation of kids so much. And if it was lockdown, why is it your kid and not all the kids in your kid’s grade?

I think that when we are seeing immaturity and learning difficulties across age groups it has as much to do with parenting, copious screens at home, and copious screens in school. Many parents think they’re “on” their children’s behaviors, but they aren’t. They let many many MANY things go and favor their children instead of the good of the group. If we went back to the school days before smart boards in the classroom and chromebooks in every hand, we would see better behavior. If kids weren’t handed iPhones at the store and iPads at restaurants to keep them quiet they would be better off. I don’t think it was the lockdown, I think it was the shift in parenting that came with it and that hasn’t gone back.

I agree with you, but I think it was a combination of things at once. In addition to Covid, there was also this societal shift about the rules and authority figures, much less discipline at school, and a lot more screens. There's also this overall attitude that societal norms and expectations are somehow a bad thing, but you need that as a baseline to help guide behavior.

[Anonymous]

I see very little effects in my 8th graders cohort - they missed end of 4th and then most of 5th grade. My 10th graders cohort suffered immensely going through middle school online. Particularly socially. The kids are either socially stunted introverts or they are wild and crazy trying to get back what they lost during an key adolescent development stage.

I’d say the kids who missed k-1 suffered the most academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see very little effects in my 8th graders cohort - they missed end of 4th and then most of 5th grade. My 10th graders cohort suffered immensely going through middle school online. Particularly socially. The kids are either socially stunted introverts or they are wild and crazy trying to get back what they lost during an key adolescent development stage.

I’d say the kids who missed k-1 suffered the most academically.

I have two kids, same ages as yours. And I’m not seeing that.

Maybe those 10th graders you know would have been socially stunted or wild and crazy…those types of kids existed when we were kids! And there are middle of the road 10th graders out there. Theyre not all suffering the same experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach that age-group and yes; the changes are profound. Not in every kid, but in a very significant cohort.

My child didn’t get the multiplication table memorized. It was started and just got lost in the whole mess. What can you suggest to strengthen this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach that age-group and yes; the changes are profound. Not in every kid, but in a very significant cohort.

My child didn’t get the multiplication table memorized. It was started and just got lost in the whole mess. What can you suggest to strengthen this?

NP. I am not a teacher but I taught my kids multiplication anyway. Just buy some flash cards and some math multiplication card games (sold on Amazon). Quiz your kid in the car on the way to soccer. Has to be fun and consistent - and it can take a concerted effort for some kids.