If you are new money

[Anonymous]

Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

[Anonymous]

My parents were reasonably well educated but we were not well off. But it was still an obvious (if unspoken) rule that talking about money was distasteful. I think it's just more common now, but I still find it shocking.

In the past week I have been asked:
-How much I paid for some property I just bought.
-Did I finance my wife's care?
-What is the interest rate?

I am slightly stunned each time. My wife says I'm the snob, not them, they're just making conversation. I guess so.

[Anonymous]

*wife's car

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

Do you talk about your money? Only with DH and my accountant
Show your money? I don't know what you mean. Like counting hundreds in public? No.
Buy flashy things? Not really. I don't buy things with brand names/symbols on them. But we bought an at home water cooler/filter thing. We like nice vacations, hotels, restaurants, first class airfare.
Who in your family/friends knows how much you make/have? My husband.
Who do you talk bonuses or stock investment with? DH and accountant

[Anonymous]

Asking about whether you financed a car and interest rate is just them getting some data point on the current market. It's normal conversation.

Sounds like you started it by telling ppl about your recent purchases and they just asked follow up questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking about whether you financed a car and interest rate is just them getting some data point on the current market. It's normal conversation.

Sounds like you started it by telling ppl about your recent purchases and they just asked follow up questions.

+1

Is this possibly the fifth grifter thread today, OP? OML.

[Anonymous]

No, I didn't bring it up. Just a "guys notice cars" kind of thing. But I notice cars all the time and think it's very bad taste to ask. If I'm interested in that particular car, I talk with them about the car.

And the property--similar situation.

[Anonymous]

I actually wish people talked about money more! I wouldn't call myself "new money", but I grew up very poor so what I have now is quite different. One of my older friends mentioned she spend a ton on a cruise. I've never been on a cruise, so I asked how much is that? And she wouldn't say. I was just curious what someone thinks "a ton" for a cruise is, what you get for that, is it worth it, etc. I wasn't trying to pry, she brought it up, but then got all cagey about it.

Idk, dont bring it up if you dont want to talk about I guess? But some people are fine to talk about it with. I like hearing peoples wins and if you have $30k (minimum, I googled it after haha) to blow on a cruise that sounds AMAZING!

That said, DH absolutely did not want his family knowing how we are doing. That's more because he thinks they will ask for money/want support lol.

[Anonymous]

I don't show the money in any way other than occasionally letting out an out of touch statement like "just get my attorney to do it" or "only costs a couple grand". I try to not let those things slip though because it's kind of a d way to speak, particularly among those who are struggling or still striving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually wish people talked about money more! I wouldn't call myself "new money", but I grew up very poor so what I have now is quite different. One of my older friends mentioned she spend a ton on a cruise. I've never been on a cruise, so I asked how much is that? And she wouldn't say. I was just curious what someone thinks "a ton" for a cruise is, what you get for that, is it worth it, etc. I wasn't trying to pry, she brought it up, but then got all cagey about it.

Idk, dont bring it up if you dont want to talk about I guess? But some people are fine to talk about it with. I like hearing peoples wins and if you have $30k (minimum, I googled it after haha) to blow on a cruise that sounds AMAZING!

That said, DH absolutely did not want his family knowing how we are doing. That's more because he thinks they will ask for money/want support lol.

Some ppl are so weird. I once worked with a woman who talked about nothing but buying a house for months. She droned on and on about it, complaining about the cost and everything. Finally I asked her what price level she's looking at, and she clammed up real quick.

[Anonymous]

It’s a current practice called loud budgeting. Google it. It’s a social media campaign against conspicuous consumption.

It has nothing to do with old money (you mean like the Royal family I assume) or people who earn their own money and invest it to build wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were reasonably well educated but we were not well off. But it was still an obvious (if unspoken) rule that talking about money was distasteful. I think it's just more common now, but I still find it shocking.

In the past week I have been asked:
-How much I paid for some property I just bought.
-Did I finance my wife's care?
-What is the interest rate?

I am slightly stunned each time. My wife says I'm the snob, not them, they're just making conversation. I guess so.

Honestly, I think things are different now that information about property sales is very easy to search online. Anyone can figure out how much you paid on the internet anyway, so most people don’t see anything wrong with asking someone this question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I try not to talk about money, but if friends ask how much something was, I’ll answer honestly.

In terms of flashy things, I’m not outside the norm of my UMC neighborhood. Only my husband and I know how much we make and have, although DD will find out when we fill out FAFSA in the fall. I shared our HHI with my mom in the past because we made so much more than I dreamed we’d make growing up. But that number has gone up a lot since then, and I’ve been evasive when she asked more recently. I know she’s just trying to get a sense of how people in general afford things nowadays and how my DH and I afford our lifestyle, but I think it would change something about our relationship. My parents are fine financially, but they do watch their spending.

You’re looking down on your SIL, but I can relate to her. My dad topped out at $106K when he retired. It boggles my mind that my family can live the way we do, and I’d only share that feeling with someone I felt very, very close to and could trust, assuming it was someone who could relate.

[Anonymous]

How much is new money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually wish people talked about money more! I wouldn't call myself "new money", but I grew up very poor so what I have now is quite different. One of my older friends mentioned she spend a ton on a cruise. I've never been on a cruise, so I asked how much is that? And she wouldn't say. I was just curious what someone thinks "a ton" for a cruise is, what you get for that, is it worth it, etc. I wasn't trying to pry, she brought it up, but then got all cagey about it.

Idk, dont bring it up if you dont want to talk about I guess? But some people are fine to talk about it with. I like hearing peoples wins and if you have $30k (minimum, I googled it after haha) to blow on a cruise that sounds AMAZING!

That said, DH absolutely did not want his family knowing how we are doing. That's more because he thinks they will ask for money/want support lol.

+1

The only reason I like this forum is because people are open about finances and it's helpful for people who don't have friends or family within the same economic class to see what is working for other people. However, sometimes people will say stuff like, "wow, you're so dumb for not being able to budget your 1 million salary," which add zero value to people trying to optimize. I hope these statements don't make people want to stop sharing their budgeting concerns.