Was I rude or did he deserve it?

[Anonymous]

We were at work discussing some casual team-building activity and the person who had offered their house for a BBQ wouldn't be available because of a trip. A co-worker asked if we could do it in mine and I explained that I'd love to but my condo was too small for groups bigger than 3 or 4 people, to which my boss asked condescendingly "when are you getting a proper house?". So I replied "as soon as you increase my paycheck". I doubt this is going to HR, but my reply made things pretty awkward between us to the point that he's been avoiding talking to me for any reason other than work. Some co-workers say it was well-deserved while others say I'm being too sensitive about the issue and that I should be careful talking to my boss like this. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a conversation I would have had with my boss and it all would have been in good fun. Do you think he thinks you’re underpaid? Your reply was in keeping with the tone that he set with his comment.

[Anonymous]

I think he deserved it, but you don't always get to give what people deserve when those people are your boss.

In the future, when you're saying no NEVER give a reason why. "Sorry, I can't." "Sorry, that won't work for me." If some jerk says "Yeah but why?" just smile at them like they're stupid and say "That won't work for me." If they press, say "Really, take the hint." Or walk away. Or both!

[Anonymous]

I think boss’s comment was inappropriate but so was yours. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You should have ignored it.

[Anonymous]

He was very unprofessional.

It sound like you work in a place with no professional boundaries. In your shoes, I’d have reached out to recruiters by now. Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a conversation I would have had with my boss and it all would have been in good fun. Do you think he thinks you’re underpaid? Your reply was in keeping with the tone that he set with his comment.

I would say he was rude. But I agree with this phrase, and you need to keep that in your back pocket in case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he deserved it, but you don't always get to give what people deserve when those people are your boss.

In the future, when you're saying no NEVER give a reason why. "Sorry, I can't." "Sorry, that won't work for me." If some jerk says "Yeah but why?" just smile at them like they're stupid and say "That won't work for me." If they press, say "Really, take the hint." Or walk away. Or both!

Nah, we should stop letting people get away with rude behavior just because of their title. If OP is in a tight financial situation and can't afford losing their job I would've set aside a few minutes to let him know that the comment was inappropriate while avoiding drama in front of the co-workers, otherwise they gave him exactly what he was asking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he deserved it, but you don't always get to give what people deserve when those people are your boss.

In the future, when you're saying no NEVER give a reason why. "Sorry, I can't." "Sorry, that won't work for me." If some jerk says "Yeah but why?" just smile at them like they're stupid and say "That won't work for me." If they press, say "Really, take the hint." Or walk away. Or both!

Nah, we should stop letting people get away with rude behavior just because of their title. If OP is in a tight financial situation and can't afford losing their job I would've set aside a few minutes to let him know that the comment was inappropriate while avoiding drama in front of the co-workers, otherwise they gave him exactly what he was asking for.

1+

They keep doing it because they know they can get away with it. Given the boss is ashamed, I'd assume he'll think twice of making a similar comment again.

[Anonymous]

Both shouldn’t have said what they said… They’re both in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think boss’s comment was inappropriate but so was yours. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You should have ignored it.

+1

[Anonymous]

He totally deserved it, but two wrongs don't make a right. If you really must, OP, say it brightly, with a smile, then laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both shouldn’t have said what they said… They’re both in the wrong.

The boss was being a Richard. The OP just stood for themselves.
I'd understand the wrongness if they went for his physical appearance or his work performance, but they didn't do that.
The boss was really out of line especially when he doesn't know OP's situation.
I would've done the same.

[Anonymous]

If the tone was right, boss’s comment could have been in jest and then OP’s comment would have been a good comeback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the tone was right, boss’s comment could have been in jest and then OP’s comment would have been a good comeback.

Agree

[Anonymous]

He can dish it out but can’t take it.