Love triangle wwyd?

[Anonymous]

DD 16 has been best friends with a girl (larla) and a boy (Jeff) all school year. DD and Jeff are not dating but hang out alone and are very flirty. Larla has a boy (Steve) that she hangs out and flirts with. Sometimes the four of them do “double dates”.

For the past few weeks Jeff has had a lot less contact with DD and is hanging out more with larla. DD has mentioned it a couple times, but seems to think things will go back to normal soon.

DD has ordered matching rings for herself and Jeff and plans to give him his in the next few weeks.

DD is shy and quiet and these are her only friends. I’m worried this whole thing is going to blow up and she will be absolutely heartbroken. I sort of want to warn her. But also don’t want to intervene in teen drama. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Yikes. It does sound precarious. Maybe gently suggest she be prepared to find new friends of the other two end up a couple.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m wondering if Jeff has been interested in larla all year and has only been flirting with DD to make larla jealous.
Jeff and larla have known each other since elementary. And DD has only known them for the past two years.

[Anonymous]

You need to step in about the rings and I would suggest this even without Larla in the picture. They aren't dating, they aren't boyfriend/girlfriend. Matching rings is wayyyy too much for this scenario.

As for advice about Jeff, teach your daughter not to waste time on guys who flirt and don't make moves to be something more. Or who are flirty with other girls. It never ends well.

[Anonymous]

Agreed with PP. Guys that play games like Jeff are dangerous. She needs to understand this now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to step in about the rings and I would suggest this even without Larla in the picture. They aren't dating, they aren't boyfriend/girlfriend. Matching rings is wayyyy too much for this scenario.

As for advice about Jeff, teach your daughter not to waste time on guys who flirt and don't make moves to be something more. Or who are flirty with other girls. It never ends well.

Very much agree on the rings. That sounds like a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Please do not let her give him any rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.

+1. This is Jeff’s mom. No no no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.

+1 no rings even for a BF. Rings are for engaged people. Doesn't matter if Cracker Jack, silicone or skull-shaped goth...no rings!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.

OP here. Ugh. I agree, but also I hate this. DD selected and purchased these on her own. Spent $60 of her own money. Now I tell her she shouldn’t give it. There’s a strong possibility that I’m going to be blamed for the outcome of things if I start telling her what to do.

[Anonymous]

Ask zendaya

[Anonymous]

Threes are difficult, there’s always two pairing up more and one always gets left out. It’s never even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.

OP here. Ugh. I agree, but also I hate this. DD selected and purchased these on her own. Spent $60 of her own money. Now I tell her she shouldn’t give it. There’s a strong possibility that I’m going to be blamed for the outcome of things if I start telling her what to do.

I would tell her to think hard about what she thinks these rings symbolize because usually when people give another person a ring it's romantic, and it seems like Jeff likes Larla romantically. If she wants to give it in the vein of friendship I'd suggest she return the rings and give a friendship necklace, or make a colorful string bracelet that kids often make and trade (generally younger kids, but whatever). I don't see anything nefarious about Jeff - he's allowed to like whoever he likes and be friends with with whoever he wants and doesn't have to like someone he's not interested in. I would also ask DD "what reaction do you HOPE to get from Jeff when you give him the rings, and what reaction do you EXPECT to get from Jeff considering how much time he's been hanging out with Larla, and are you prepared for whatever that reaction might be?" At least get her thinking, and then let the chips fall where they may.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed with PP. Guys that play games like Jeff are dangerous. She needs to understand this now.

What games is Jeff playing? You’re projecting your own problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.

OP here. Ugh. I agree, but also I hate this. DD selected and purchased these on her own. Spent $60 of her own money. Now I tell her she shouldn’t give it. There’s a strong possibility that I’m going to be blamed for the outcome of things if I start telling her what to do.

I would tell her to think hard about what she thinks these rings symbolize because usually when people give another person a ring it's romantic, and it seems like Jeff likes Larla romantically. If she wants to give it in the vein of friendship I'd suggest she return the rings and give a friendship necklace, or make a colorful string bracelet that kids often make and trade (generally younger kids, but whatever). I don't see anything nefarious about Jeff - he's allowed to like whoever he likes and be friends with with whoever he wants and doesn't have to like someone he's not interested in. I would also ask DD "what reaction do you HOPE to get from Jeff when you give him the rings, and what reaction do you EXPECT to get from Jeff considering how much time he's been hanging out with Larla, and are you prepared for whatever that reaction might be?" At least get her thinking, and then let the chips fall where they may.

I think this is good advice.