NCS says no contact naps. Is she too strict?

[Anonymous]

We hired a newborn care specialist for our newborn and she told us not to do any contact naps. She’s very strict about all naps (daytime too) being in the bassinet or a safe sleep space.

She says it’s a safety issue and will also make sleep training harder.

It kind of breaks my heart. Obviously we can do what we want but she has great reviews so I figured she knows what she’s doing.

[Anonymous]

Nothing counts before 6 weeks or so. Omg, my favorite part of having a newborn- the only redeeming part, honestly- was having them nap in my arms during the day. Their smell, their tiny hands, their tiny lips... omg. Cherish your newborn.

[Anonymous]

So you're only supposed to hold the baby when they are awake?? Hard no from me.

[Anonymous]

She's technically right as you/she can fall asleep and it be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Does your newborn have a medical condition? My oldest was born at 32 weeks, was very weak, and doctors did not recomment co-sleeping, but did recommend, very much so, kangaroo care, and skin-to-skin, to counteract his time in the NICU and what they knew were going to be developmental delays. So if the adult was wide-awake, it was good to hold him close to us while he slept. But no adult asleep next to him, because he wouldn't have screamed loudly enough if the covers were covering him, or if we rolled on him.

I'm not quite understanding the point of your NCS... seems to be more of a sleep-training issue rather than a safety issue. And sleep-training should be YOUR choice.

My second was born at 38 weeks, healthy in every respect, so we co-slept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hired a newborn care specialist for our newborn and she told us not to do any contact naps. She’s very strict about all naps (daytime too) being in the bassinet or a safe sleep space.

She says it’s a safety issue and will also make sleep training harder.

It kind of breaks my heart. Obviously we can do what we want but she has great reviews so I figured she knows what she’s doing.

If you are not asleep AND alone there is no risk....

[Anonymous]

Follow your instincts, mom. Love on your baby. That’s what they need the most. I’ve got three great sleepers who were held for pretty much all naps the first few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Follow your instincts, mom. Love on your baby. That’s what they need the most. I’ve got three great sleepers who were held for pretty much all naps the first few months.

+1 this is the very best part of having a newborn. You will never get this time back again.

I never fell asleep holding baby but yes so many snuggles and contact naps in early days. The best.

[Anonymous]

Please hold your baby. I get why she gives this advice but all babies grow out of contact naps eventually. I’ve never heard of a baby still doing it regularly after 7-8 months. And the time passes so fast. My youngest is 2 and I’d give anything for her to be little again and let me hold her for a nap.

[Anonymous]

How many children does she have? How well adjusted are they?

Babies need to be held. The majority of the world co-sleeps.

“Sleep training” is an abomination that essentially ignores the child’s needs until it gives up.

[Anonymous]

Do you want a baby who is emotionally attached to you or a baby who sTTN? Your pick.

[Anonymous]

Postpartum doula and Ncs here -this advice is garbage please hold your baby!

1. You can't spoil a baby
2. A more secure attachment leads to more independent kids not the other way around
3. Daytime sleep and overnight sleep use a different part of the brain- many many families successfully sleep train overnight when age appropriate and continue to contact, stroller, carrier nap during the day - some want it, some out of necessity( multiple kids, school pick up...)
4. Your Ncs should never be guilting or shaming you

The danger comes if you're sleep deprived trying to hold them all night long. But if you are awake and not at risk for falling asleep then please contact nap with your child.

[Anonymous]

OP this is one of those parenting things that falls under do what works for you, or your family.
I put my baby down for naps because that’s what I wanted to do. If you feel like you want to hold yours, then you do that. Neither choices are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Postpartum doula and Ncs here -this advice is garbage please hold your baby!

1. You can't spoil a baby
2. A more secure attachment leads to more independent kids not the other way around
3. Daytime sleep and overnight sleep use a different part of the brain- many many families successfully sleep train overnight when age appropriate and continue to contact, stroller, carrier nap during the day - some want it, some out of necessity( multiple kids, school pick up...)
4. Your Ncs should never be guilting or shaming you

The danger comes if you're sleep deprived trying to hold them all night long. But if you are awake and not at risk for falling asleep then please contact nap with your child.

+1 to all of this, and if you want some anecdotal evidence:

My DD took many, many naps as an infant in my arms or a carrier. After 3 months, she'd take her first and sometimes second nap of the day in her crib, but her afternoon nap was usually in the stroller or carrier because it got me out of the house (I had PPD and this was important for my mental health). We did not cosleep at night but she did sleep in our room until about 10 months, and I continued to nurse her at night if she woke up (against the pediatrician's stern advice) until about 1 year.

I now have a 7 year old who has always been a great sleeper, never given us difficulty at bedtime, is independent and confident, and we have a great relationship (loving and affectionate, but also she trusts me and mostly does what I ask).

If some piece of infant advice just feels *wrong* and it's an issue where many people disagree, I say go with your gut. This will come up again and again. You need to trust your own parenting instincts. If it's something where you are a huge outlier, that's a good time to maybe turn to an expert and try it their way. But for something like this, if your heart is saying to hold the baby during naps, do it!

[Anonymous]

Please hold your baby. It's good for them and good for you.