Ideas to make this simple process more tolerable?

[Anonymous]

I wasn’t sure how to concisely title the subject of the thread, so I’ll try here!

DD12 is currently undergoing a skin treatment on her upper body, including face. It is a topical solution that must be applied after she showers, and has to be rubbed in completely; it’s even dyed slightly so you can be certain you’ve rubbed it in thoroughly, and if you don’t, it sort of oxidizes and leaves a stain. She needs help properly applying it to harder to reach areas. I was letting her do the other areas herself but she wasn’t rubbing it in enough and was waking up with dyed skin. We decided together that she needs help. She isn’t so much embarrassed to have me help her, but she hates the TIME it takes for me to properly rub it in, just wants to get dressed, and it turns into a huge fight every evening. I’m exhausted. And we have five-ish more weeks of this.

I know she hates it, but it has to be done. I know she just wants to get dressed, but it has to be done. I know it takes time and it’s annoying and invasive, but it has to be done. I’d love any ideas on how to make this process more tolerable! Just so you have an idea, if she sits and just lets me do it without protest, it is over with in under a minute!

[Anonymous]

I’d let her put on pants and socks so she’s not freezing then do it in front of the tv or something in her bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Listen to an audiobook? She drinks a smoothie while you apply?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, no advice, just empathy.

Dealing with a similar medical situation with my 12yo and it's a battle every night. It's miserable.

In your circumstance, is there a particular video she cares enough about that she could only watch while this happens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d let her put on pants and socks so she’s not freezing then do it in front of the tv or something in her bedroom.

I guess I’m going to have to force her to do this. I suggested this originally and was met with “Ugh! Mom, I just want to get dressed all at once, once this is over!” and I felt bad enough I didn’t argue. I do think if she at least partially dresses she will perhaps be happier.

-Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen to an audiobook? She drinks a smoothie while you apply?

She is really into freeze pops right now so this may help! Thanks! I’ll give it a try.

-Op

[Anonymous]

Let her bring an iPad in if you have one and let her watch the beginning of a shortish video. So long as she cooperates she can continue watching to finish it once it’s fully rubbed in. Each week that she completes successfully she can get reward (trip to Starbucks with a friend, manicure, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, no advice, just empathy.

Dealing with a similar medical situation with my 12yo and it's a battle every night. It's miserable.

In your circumstance, is there a particular video she cares enough about that she could only watch while this happens?

Thank you! And sending peaceful thoughts your way, PP!

-Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t sure how to concisely title the subject of the thread, so I’ll try here!

DD12 is currently undergoing a skin treatment on her upper body, including face. It is a topical solution that must be applied after she showers, and has to be rubbed in completely; it’s even dyed slightly so you can be certain you’ve rubbed it in thoroughly, and if you don’t, it sort of oxidizes and leaves a stain. She needs help properly applying it to harder to reach areas. I was letting her do the other areas herself but she wasn’t rubbing it in enough and was waking up with dyed skin. We decided together that she needs help. She isn’t so much embarrassed to have me help her, but she hates the TIME it takes for me to properly rub it in, just wants to get dressed, and it turns into a huge fight every evening. I’m exhausted. And we have five-ish more weeks of this.

I know she hates it, but it has to be done. I know she just wants to get dressed, but it has to be done. I know it takes time and it’s annoying and invasive, but it has to be done. I’d love any ideas on how to make this process more tolerable! Just so you have an idea, if she sits and just lets me do it without protest, it is over with in under a minute!

I say this gently OP -- your daughter is old enough to understand that the solution needs to be rubbed in completely, and that it is why it is dyed. Let her take responsibility for this on her own, and actively ask for your help. She's not a little child anymore, and it's good for her to really understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t sure how to concisely title the subject of the thread, so I’ll try here!

DD12 is currently undergoing a skin treatment on her upper body, including face. It is a topical solution that must be applied after she showers, and has to be rubbed in completely; it’s even dyed slightly so you can be certain you’ve rubbed it in thoroughly, and if you don’t, it sort of oxidizes and leaves a stain. She needs help properly applying it to harder to reach areas. I was letting her do the other areas herself but she wasn’t rubbing it in enough and was waking up with dyed skin. We decided together that she needs help. She isn’t so much embarrassed to have me help her, but she hates the TIME it takes for me to properly rub it in, just wants to get dressed, and it turns into a huge fight every evening. I’m exhausted. And we have five-ish more weeks of this.

I know she hates it, but it has to be done. I know she just wants to get dressed, but it has to be done. I know it takes time and it’s annoying and invasive, but it has to be done. I’d love any ideas on how to make this process more tolerable! Just so you have an idea, if she sits and just lets me do it without protest, it is over with in under a minute!

I say this gently OP -- your daughter is old enough to understand that the solution needs to be rubbed in completely, and that it is why it is dyed. Let her take responsibility for this on her own, and actively ask for your help. She's not a little child anymore, and it's good for her to really understand that.

Thanks, but I will not be doing this. It’s a matter of medical necessity and it needs to be applied properly. This isn’t the time or place for me to “let her take responsibility”, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t sure how to concisely title the subject of the thread, so I’ll try here!

DD12 is currently undergoing a skin treatment on her upper body, including face. It is a topical solution that must be applied after she showers, and has to be rubbed in completely; it’s even dyed slightly so you can be certain you’ve rubbed it in thoroughly, and if you don’t, it sort of oxidizes and leaves a stain. She needs help properly applying it to harder to reach areas. I was letting her do the other areas herself but she wasn’t rubbing it in enough and was waking up with dyed skin. We decided together that she needs help. She isn’t so much embarrassed to have me help her, but she hates the TIME it takes for me to properly rub it in, just wants to get dressed, and it turns into a huge fight every evening. I’m exhausted. And we have five-ish more weeks of this.

I know she hates it, but it has to be done. I know she just wants to get dressed, but it has to be done. I know it takes time and it’s annoying and invasive, but it has to be done. I’d love any ideas on how to make this process more tolerable! Just so you have an idea, if she sits and just lets me do it without protest, it is over with in under a minute!

I say this gently OP -- your daughter is old enough to understand that the solution needs to be rubbed in completely, and that it is why it is dyed. Let her take responsibility for this on her own, and actively ask for your help. She's not a little child anymore, and it's good for her to really understand that.

I disagree with this. This isn't on the same level as a kid not wearing a jacket on a cold day.

[Anonymous]

Put a Youtube video on. If she doesn't have a channel she likes, you pick something that you both might find funny or interesting. GL!

[Anonymous]

Find some bingey show that an episode or half episode lasts about the time it takes to rub it in, and watch one together every night. Make a treat like the freeze pops or hot cocoa/fun flavored tea. If she doesn't want to get dressed, buy her a nice robe and slippers.

[Anonymous]

Would a towel wrap like this help - https://a.co/d/3Qloq7E - she'd be more covered, but you could still apply.

Aside from that, I think offering a show/video while you apply daily and then maybe a weekly perk (starbucks, manicure) that you could chat about/plan while you apply would be great.

[Anonymous]

My daughter, from a young age, has learned to sit still while I untangle and brush her extremely long hair. Sometimes, after running around and losing her braids, it's a bird's nest and takes a good solid 30 minutes!

So she sits with her iPad, and draws digitally, or watches shows on YouTube, and chats with her friends, etc.