Are tryouts real, or has the team already been formed?
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Anonymous
| Our kid just completed a tryout and didn't get an offer. We're not 100% objective, but our kid was better than at least half the kids that got offers on all objective measures, such as speed, skill, and aggressiveness/compete level. Our kid has improved a lot over the past year by doing privates, clinics, and working with a strength trainer, but people within the community have typecasted who they believe are the top players, and there is little room for improvement. Does anyone else feel this way? Are teams decided based on phone calls rather than performance at tryouts? I don't think we are difficult parents - we've rarely spoken with coaches over the years. We've never complained about playing time or made demands. If anything, we keep to ourselves too much. Our kid is not a troublemaker. He had one bad year where he had an overuse-type injury in a growth plate that was extremely painful, and he played through it but poorly. Maybe people only remember that year? There are other teams, and our kid will get an offer, but this particular tryout felt like a sucker punch because our kid played very well and expected a different result... |
Anonymous
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I think it really depends on what the coaches are looking for.
In 7th grade, my kid was playing for a fairly good 8th grade AAU team. None of the other kids on his MS team played AAU, and he was statistically better than most of them measured per minute. But, he came off the bench for the MS team and didn’t get much playing time. I still remember one game where coach put him in with 2 minutes remaining in the quarter, and he hit a three, got a steal, then hit another three in subsequent possessions. Coach took him out of the game after the second three. Meanwhile, a tiny point guard played the whole game despite having turnovers on like half of their possessions. He would bring the ball down, drive into traffic with no plan, and get his shot blocked — all without even looking for open teammates. But, the coaches liked the aggressiveness of the player who tried to drive to the rim, so my kid didn’t play. I think your son will be better off on a team that appreciates his game. |
Anonymous
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The eternal question!
In my experience, tryouts can often be a public exercise that accompanies a private, pre-determined plan. It's not that different than external searches for corporate roles when there's already an internal candidate who has been identified and will likely be hired. It doesn't make it feel better, though. My child is currently in the middle of an extended "tryout" that involves objective testing and results. But the reality is that they build in enough loopholes that they will put athletes wherever they want to put them based on personal preferences, favoritism, keeping siblings happy, etc. It isn't fair or aboveboard even though it looks like it is on paper, and we try to let that child know that from the beginning. We have also experienced what you're referencing in one of my other kid's sports (gymnastics). She won everything in the most important competition two years in a row, but the coaches seem to only remember the meet early in the season when she had to scratch an event. Somehow they've decided she's just not good and that's that. She has had teammates who are wildly inconsistent, fall at every meet, or don't work hard at practice, but it doesn't matter because they're the favorites of the year. Unfortunately it is good practice for real life. The working world basically operates just like travel/elite/HS sports tryouts. Sometimes you have a good, fair boss, but most of the time you're at the whims of someone who can't see the big picture and is a terrible judge of people. |
Anonymous
| Possibly. But is it size related? Is he smaller than average? |
Anonymous
It's not a size issue, as he's dead average for size on that team. Two other kids didn't make that cut and should have based on objective tryout metrics. I view it as my job as a parent to keep my kid optimistic and to believe that the system works and that hard work and growth will be recognized, but I'm faking it. I know life isn't fair, but I wish we did better in youth sports. Adults have the tools to deal with politics and favoritism. This rejection is a lot to process for a kid who knows they outperformed their competition and still didn't get a spot. |
Anonymous
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Depends on a ton of things. But at least in soccer as you get older, you should do the following:
1) if you know there's a team you want to be on, reach out to the coach and ask to practice with the team -- it helps for both sides to know if it will be a good fit 2) ask how many spots are truly available. There may be a bunch or maybe just one or two - you should know that going in 3) ask what they are looking for. They may need defenders and your kid is an excellent player, but an attacker. Or they may look for raw athleticism vs skill, or vice versa. 4) know that chemistry counts. Good coaches also aren't going to offer spots to kids who are jerks or not good sports. |
Anonymous
As the grownup, your job is to fake it because in all honestly, you don't actually know why the coach didn't offer him a spot. Maybe it was political, as you suggest, but maybe they were looking for something very specific that your kid doesn't have. Your job is to let him cry on your shoulder and then help him to keep going and working. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like you are only trying out for one club. Why not broaden the search? |
Anonymous
Maybe there just wasn't a spot on the roster. Maybe they already had his position filled and were looking to round it out with other skillsets to fill positions. So while there were other kids there, they could play positions your son couldn't so you weren't directly competing with them. |
Anonymous
| I've absolutely seen a travel baseball team with several dad and coach friends schedule a tryout , but keep many of their less athletic sons on "their" team. |
Anonymous
We have other tryouts, but the top choice unexpectedly didn't work out, and I'm venting because my kid had outplayed at least half of the kids who got offers. I would have ranked him in the top 3 based on speed and stats during the tryout. We've never had a coach or teacher complain about a behavioral issue. It's just perplexing, and I'm angry because he worked very hard to prepare, and he showed up and did what we thought he needed to do to get a spot. |
Anonymous
| Your kid (not you, the kid) can ask the coach for feedback on how they can improve their chances of making the team in the future. That will often result in info on the coaches thought process. |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry- that stinks.
For most tryouts (for all but the youngest players)- I assume the tryout is basically a formality. Most players are at some point a known quantity (or easy to research ahead of time) and the roster is mostly already penciled in. The tryout itself is really just to decide maaaybe the last few spots. This has always been my assumption anyway. |
Anonymous
| What age and sport is this? |
Anonymous
| Our experience is that most of the team is formed by tryouts. You'd need to be a total standout to bump current players (including bench players) off. The exception to this is if it's a newly forming team or if you have insider knowledge that many players are leaving the team for another team and they need to fill a lot of roster positions. Another exception is if your kid is younger. But the older the kids and the more established the teams--certainly true in soccer and basketball. Sadly, being a parent in the loop and a well liked parent helps your kid. It sounds like you've been a bit too uninvolved maybe???????? |