People who love/get excited by conflict

[Anonymous]

Is it mental illness? Maladaptive? Or normal?

I have a relative who seems to thrive on conflict and contention; no surprise they have burned a lot of bridges personally and professionally. (They are in their sixties so don’t expect this to change.) If there’s ever a situation with a difference in opinion etc they are all over it - it seems to energize and excite them.

What is this?

[Anonymous]

Women love conflict.

[Anonymous]

Attention is better than loneliness.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what it's called. But I do know my parents talked about suing people all the time in their later years. Suing or complaining, lodging formal complaints etc. I think it becomes habit forming.

My mom did a creative writing course and when she didn't like the tutor's feedback she asked me if I thought she should lodge a formal complaint against the tutor.

It was exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Drama Club

I can't tell you how many people, including family, I had to quit being around. I just can't handle all that conflict plus it does nothing positive for anyone.

[Anonymous]

My ex is this way. Thrives and advances themselves on conflict. I couldn’t take it.

[Anonymous]

As a child and teenager I loved drama. Basically my life was boring and miserable and watching other people's drama lit up the pleasure center in my brain. I literally felt a chemical change within my body. At a certain point I became saturated and stopped enjoying it.

[Anonymous]

People who have abuse in childhood get addicted to cortisol and conflict gives them a cortisol dump.

They don’t know why they do it.

[Anonymous]

I think most people can't help themselves - maybe they were excited once, but now it's just how their brain works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it mental illness? Maladaptive? Or normal?

I have a relative who seems to thrive on conflict and contention; no surprise they have burned a lot of bridges personally and professionally. (They are in their sixties so don’t expect this to change.) If there’s ever a situation with a difference in opinion etc they are all over it - it seems to energize and excite them.

What is this?

I have people in my family who are covert narcissists. They seem to thrive on creating chaos and then acting like a cool cucumber. It works both ways. Are these people creating chaos or responding to chaos?

Creating chaos would be having an affair. Losing a job and maybe losing a job and hiding this fact. Accidentally buying a completely different item from the store or forgetting to make dinner when they said they would. Some people have done this stuff and then apologize and take responsibility whether it's a small chaos or larger chaos. Others wait for someone else to get upset and then like to call them out for being contentious and themselves for being so reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t that all of us in DCUM?

[Anonymous]

I’m like this and I’m not sure why. I feel a lot of guilt over it.

[Anonymous]

Trump does this.

[Anonymous]

They’re called litigators.

My husband isn’t quite that bad but he does enjoy haggling with car salesmen. Sometimes it’s useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who have abuse in childhood get addicted to cortisol and conflict gives them a cortisol dump.

They don’t know why they do it.

+1

Stay far away.