Perimenopause and mood

[Anonymous]

I have always been a pretty emotionally even keeled person. I have a pretty laid-back, easy-going personality and rarely get very emotional. There aren't many things in life that actually upset me. I am generally an optimist and a positive person.

Or should I say, that is who I was! For the last almost year now, I feel like an angsty, angry, irritable teen going through puberty or something. My frustration tolerance has dropped but worse than that, I feel like I have lost the emotional regulation I always have had. I want to have temper tantrums and I sometimes have so much rage that I think the worst things about people. I have never been like this before. I still have control and I don't actually have a tantrum or rage at people...but I could! I now often have to walk away or go completely silent or else I will say something unprofessional or immature or petty or overreactive or inappropriate. Sometimes when alone, I feel like I have so much anger inside (about exactly what I don't know) that my body actually gets rigid or I clench my fists or I just rant in my head or even out loud (if there is no one around). I don't know what hormonal change is causing this but it isn't really sustainable for me or those around me. At some point I am going to lash out. And none of these triggers are major things. They are things that barely would have registered in the past.

I tried HRT but it actually made the rage and anger worse and it also caused other hormones in my body to skyrocket and caused other issues. So I had to go off it again.

Is this a perimenopause phase? Can I expect it to pass in a bit? Once I hit actual menopause, do things get better?

I am not sure what to do.

[Anonymous]

Effexor helped me tremendously during the premenopausal phase - it reduced my irritability and hot flashes. Hang in there. It can be tough

[Anonymous]

I’ve been keeping a log of when I feel awful and that has helped. For me it’s basically the second half of my cycle, which is now 3.5 weeks. So it’s a week and a half. It helps if I really watch my diet during that time, try to put off confronting anything, and just be aware of it as much as I can. But that’s easy when for the two weeks after my period I feel pretty good.

[Anonymous]

This is really hard to go through. Have you considered therapy?

I also felt like I was not acting like “myself” and this caused me a lot of stress and embarrassment. I started therapy after a particularly bad interaction.

I think perimenopause plays a role, but isn’t the only driver. Therapy has helped me recognize patterns and stop making some things worse for myself. I still feel hormonal mood fluctuations, but I can accept and ride them out much better. They also aren’t typically as intense as they had been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a pretty emotionally even keeled person. I have a pretty laid-back, easy-going personality and rarely get very emotional. There aren't many things in life that actually upset me. I am generally an optimist and a positive person.

Or should I say, that is who I was! For the last almost year now, I feel like an angsty, angry, irritable teen going through puberty or something. My frustration tolerance has dropped but worse than that, I feel like I have lost the emotional regulation I always have had. I want to have temper tantrums and I sometimes have so much rage that I think the worst things about people. I have never been like this before. I still have control and I don't actually have a tantrum or rage at people...but I could! I now often have to walk away or go completely silent or else I will say something unprofessional or immature or petty or overreactive or inappropriate. Sometimes when alone, I feel like I have so much anger inside (about exactly what I don't know) that my body actually gets rigid or I clench my fists or I just rant in my head or even out loud (if there is no one around). I don't know what hormonal change is causing this but it isn't really sustainable for me or those around me. At some point I am going to lash out. And none of these triggers are major things. They are things that barely would have registered in the past.

I tried HRT but it actually made the rage and anger worse and it also caused other hormones in my body to skyrocket and caused other issues. So I had to go off it again.

Is this a perimenopause phase? Can I expect it to pass in a bit? Once I hit actual menopause, do things get better?

I am not sure what to do.

Not for me, they didn't. When I asked my doctor what to expect she said it could go on for a another year ... or ten. That's when I chose HRT. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Because your symptoms are mood related, perhaps a psychiatrist could help with an SSRI, SNRI or mood stabilizer.

[Anonymous]

Which HRT did you try? For me the estradiol gel helped...

[Anonymous]

It's a phase. Just take a deep breath, accept that it will pass, and get on with life.