Do you let your kids wear character shirts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a big daycare that constantly uses a park near us and it almost seems like character shirts are the required, or at leas de facto, uniform to attend to the daycare. Maybe it's just a different mindset between parents who choose daycare and other forms of childcare, but I certainly don't want my kid looking like that.

Damn, this is some quality trolling. Well done!

Thanks, but I'm not trolling. Have you ever seen a daycare descend on a park? It is quite a scene.

The older kids are walking single file attached to a rope like a preschool chain gang. The younger kids are pushed along in these passive wagons that can hold around 12 toddlers. And they are all disheveled, dirty, and wearing a horrid mishmash of cartoon characters.

I'm sure it is hard to get kids up and out in the morning while the adults get ready for work. But, how can people not have even a modicum of pride in what their kids look like when out of the house?

Let me stun you. I'm proud of my kids no matter what they wear. And proud of myself too, for raising smart, sweet, wonderful kids. And not only do they wear character shirts, but I let them pick out their own outfits, as long as what they choose is weather-appropriate... and they often don't even match!

I also let them get as dirty as they want when playing outside. When it rains, they wear their character rainboots with flashing lights, and splash in muddy puddles.

Oh, and we have a nanny, so the kids aren't in daycare. So I don't even have getting the kids ready in the morning as an excuse! Can't believe no one has called CPS on me yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin managed to keep her boys looking like little lord fauntleroy till they were about 8 and then transitioned them to business casual. I don’t live character shirts but that level of vigilance about children’s clothes is weird.

What are those one piece romper things southern moms put their little boys in? I can't remember the name. I'm imagining them in these with baby boat shoes or something.

Those types of clothes are ridiculous and usually found mostly among the Southern moms that love a good social climb.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I was so confused when I saw that this thread had 9 pages. "How can there possibly be that much debate about characters on children's shirts?" I naively asked myself. I am actually really impressed that in a thread about children's clothing, DCUMs have already managed to malign rich people, poor people, parents who use daycare, and Southerners.

Most of my kids' clothes are hand-me-downs, but when I do buy clothes for them I let them choose what they like, including characters. I don't want to micromanage their lives. I want them to develop their own preferences and express themselves, not be little versions of me.

Also I wear character shirts as an adult, so I guess I'll have to add that to the list of ridiculous things randos are probably judging me for.

[Anonymous]

I have nothing else to add, because it's all been said, but this thread needs a star for "intro to DCUM" reading. Welcome to NOVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin managed to keep her boys looking like little lord fauntleroy till they were about 8 and then transitioned them to business casual. I don’t live character shirts but that level of vigilance about children’s clothes is weird.

What are those one piece romper things southern moms put their little boys in? I can't remember the name. I'm imagining them in these with baby boat shoes or something.

Those types of clothes are ridiculous and usually found mostly among the Southern moms that love a good social climb.

That is an accurate description.
https://www.southernliving.com/baby-shower/jon-jons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin managed to keep her boys looking like little lord fauntleroy till they were about 8 and then transitioned them to business casual. I don’t live character shirts but that level of vigilance about children’s clothes is weird.

What are those one piece romper things southern moms put their little boys in? I can't remember the name. I'm imagining them in these with baby boat shoes or something.

Jon jons.

[Anonymous]

This post is eye-opening. I had no idea that there were people who were anti-character t-shirts. This is mind-boggling. Learn something new every day.

[Anonymous]

My favorite posts are the person who doesn’t allow characters or words, except the parents’ colleges, and the one who thinks that by forbidding character shirts, she is preparing her kids for adulthood.

No control issues there at all!

[Anonymous]

Our school (Montessori) has a policy of no characters on clothing. My kids make up for it on the weekend. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is something to keep in mind, your kids are going to get older. I taught my kids early about what was appropriate and what wasn't appropriate, tried pretty hard not to give in to tantrums over ugly character clothes and iron on Disney/videogame/tv show themed crap.

They are now in middle school and my daughter happily turns her nose up at half the shill they sell in Forever 21.

Here's the message, and here is why I was a "snob" about clothes when they were young: it's fine to have a few fun pieces that make you happy, but don't build your entire wardrobe on messaged/logoed/branded trash. Buy nice things that last and won't fill up the landfill. I'm happy your daughter chose a "save the earth" tee-shirt, but junk fashion is one of the reasons our planet is dying and humans are currently enslaved for their production.

Buy nice things that can be worn a long time.

Yes, I'm a kid's clothes snob.

This is just amazing. Some of you are on such a control-freak and power trip with your children. I grew up with kids who had parents like you. Most of them are either in therapy or chose to move far away from their parents and don't visit with them. At a certain point, your children will rebel not from the clothing that you forced on them or the expectations you taught them, but from the control-freak parent that you are. You are the type of parent that children are dying to get away from.

Children want to have some control in their lives and want to be able to have some self-expression. When you saddle your child with so many expectations and such rigid control, you are molding them into miniature versions of yourself and not letting them be themselves. You're stifling your children. When they finally get away from you, they will not want to get back under that iron thumb of yours. You may be the type of parent that your adult children will not want to visit.

Hopefully that won't happen to you, but I've seen it happen many times to parents just like you.

[Anonymous]

I dressed my first child like a little British doll- all mini boden and smocked bishop dresses. I never let her pick her clothes out for school and never asked her opinion when I ordered clothes. Then one day, we were chatting with another mother at the park and the mother made a passing comment along the lines of “you know how good you feel when you love how you look? It’s not about what you are wearing but all about how you feel.” I don’t know why but that comment made me really lighten up. I started letting my daughter pick her clothes and outfits, and she has a wonderful, unique style that is so fascinating to me!

Turns out, 3 years later, her younger brother has emerged as more of a gender nonconforming dresser. He has very strong opinions about what he wants to wear and I feel like I have done a great job supporting him largely in part because I lightened up with my eldest! I care way more about my children’s mental health and self esteem than I do about them wearing a My Little Pony sweatshirt in a school photo.

So my advice is to let that go. Let your child wear what FEELS good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dressed my first child like a little British doll- all mini boden and smocked bishop dresses. I never let her pick her clothes out for school and never asked her opinion when I ordered clothes. Then one day, we were chatting with another mother at the park and the mother made a passing comment along the lines of “you know how good you feel when you love how you look? It’s not about what you are wearing but all about how you feel.” I don’t know why but that comment made me really lighten up. I started letting my daughter pick her clothes and outfits, and she has a wonderful, unique style that is so fascinating to me!

Turns out, 3 years later, her younger brother has emerged as more of a gender nonconforming dresser. He has very strong opinions about what he wants to wear and I feel like I have done a great job supporting him largely in part because I lightened up with my eldest! I care way more about my children’s mental health and self esteem than I do about them wearing a My Little Pony sweatshirt in a school photo.

So my advice is to let that go. Let your child wear what FEELS good.

Good advice. I too dressed my oldest like Prince George (frankly, he looked ridiculous now that I look back at photos). My oldest doesn’t care much about clothes and will wear whatever he’s given. My second has worn the same dinosaur shirt for three days in a row (I had to get a couple of the same one), basketball shorts and Birkenstocks with socks because he wants his toes to be “free but warm”. As long as he’s happy and not dirty or trying to sneak that outfit into a formal occasion, I’ve learned to let go and let him be. Of all the battles to pick as a parent, clothing really isn’t one of them, at least not until they’re teenagers and start getting into some really inappropriate choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dressed my first child like a little British doll- all mini boden and smocked bishop dresses. I never let her pick her clothes out for school and never asked her opinion when I ordered clothes. Then one day, we were chatting with another mother at the park and the mother made a passing comment along the lines of “you know how good you feel when you love how you look? It’s not about what you are wearing but all about how you feel.” I don’t know why but that comment made me really lighten up. I started letting my daughter pick her clothes and outfits, and she has a wonderful, unique style that is so fascinating to me!

Turns out, 3 years later, her younger brother has emerged as more of a gender nonconforming dresser. He has very strong opinions about what he wants to wear and I feel like I have done a great job supporting him largely in part because I lightened up with my eldest! I care way more about my children’s mental health and self esteem than I do about them wearing a My Little Pony sweatshirt in a school photo.

So my advice is to let that go. Let your child wear what FEELS good.

My children have NEVER asked for a character shirt. They see them at Target all the time (or used to back when we browsed Target every weekend) and never once wanted one. So don't assume that kids that don't wear character shirts are somehow unhappy or wearing clothes that don't FEEL good to them. Honestly, the judgment of the people who think kids must wear character shirts or they will hate their parents and end up in therapy is just as bad as the judgment of people who think that kids who wear character shirts must be trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dressed my first child like a little British doll- all mini boden and smocked bishop dresses. I never let her pick her clothes out for school and never asked her opinion when I ordered clothes. Then one day, we were chatting with another mother at the park and the mother made a passing comment along the lines of “you know how good you feel when you love how you look? It’s not about what you are wearing but all about how you feel.” I don’t know why but that comment made me really lighten up. I started letting my daughter pick her clothes and outfits, and she has a wonderful, unique style that is so fascinating to me!

Turns out, 3 years later, her younger brother has emerged as more of a gender nonconforming dresser. He has very strong opinions about what he wants to wear and I feel like I have done a great job supporting him largely in part because I lightened up with my eldest! I care way more about my children’s mental health and self esteem than I do about them wearing a My Little Pony sweatshirt in a school photo.

So my advice is to let that go. Let your child wear what FEELS good.

My children have NEVER asked for a character shirt. They see them at Target all the time (or used to back when we browsed Target every weekend) and never once wanted one. So don't assume that kids that don't wear character shirts are somehow unhappy or wearing clothes that don't FEEL good to them. Honestly, the judgment of the people who think kids must wear character shirts or they will hate their parents and end up in therapy is just as bad as the judgment of people who think that kids who wear character shirts must be trashy.

Nice straw man you made there.

No one said that kids HAVE to wear character shirts to be happy. No one assumes that if they see a kid in a plain red shirt, that the kids is unhappy or doesn't feel good. No one says that they only dress their kids in character tees. They said that PARENTS who think that a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it is trashy, and that they are morally superior because they only dress their kids in Tea Collection and Hanna Andersson, and who are overly controlling about their children's clothing, are wrong, and that the control-freakiness and judgmentalism they exhibit are going to negatively affect their kids and their relationship with their kids.

[Anonymous]

My kid wore a grubby Elmo shirt for days on end, and he's in engineering school now. There is a direct correlation.