Dealing with family dinner every day for the rest of your life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Oh please, no one ever died from eating cereal for dinner every once in a while. You’re a miserable person if that’s all tin took from that post. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

We order a meal service that delivers ready made food (just serve hot or cold). That covers 2 dinners a week and about 4 lunches (for wfh).

We do takeout or dinner out another night.

There is usually a date night.

Then we cook 2 nights and there is one day of leftovers. 2 nights is very manageable. The meal service is the game changer.

I have friends who have a cook come in once a week and batch cook a few meals. I’ve heard this is more affordable than it sounds.

When I cook I do things that are simple - sheet pan dinners, large stews. I cook the same 10 or so things on rotation - accounting for protein, a couple veggies and a starch. I usually have them go at the same time so 30 minutes.

We grocery shop the same list weekly and have it delivered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An easier way to think of this is to ensure that you have staples in your pantry and a handful of memorized, forgiving recipes.
1) Pasta + sauce. Endless variations - spaghetti with marinara; frozen tortellini or penne with pesto (buy from Costco); linguine with frozen shrimp, lemon, and olive oil; spaghetti with fried egg and parm, etc., etc.
2) Rice + protein + veggie. If you're pressed for time, you can get frozen rice from TJs. Protein could be chicken, beef, tofu.
3) Indian simmer sauces + protein + rice or naan.
4) Burritos - use leftover rice, add beans, guac, cheese, and salsa.
5) Big salads. Look up "dense bean salad" and make a giant bowl, serve with baguette. Serve with baguette (I buy from Costco, cut up into sections, and freeze.)
6) Chili with or without meat. This freezes and heats up beautifully. You can actually serve chili with pasta (Cincinnati style) or with rice (Hawaiian style) or over a baked potato.

I do a lot of stuff like this, too. For the meals with rice, I have a rice cooker. You can get good quality rice (any kind you want) at the Asian supermarket.

A friend gave me their rice cooker when they got a new one so I took it because it was free. I used to think it was stupid because it’s not small and it only does one thing but now I freaking love it and we use it all the time! If something happens to it I’ll replace it in a heartbeat. We also have an Instant Pot but it’s more work for just rice. The rice maker is amazing and definitely one of my favorite appliances.

[Anonymous]

It gets me down too. I have a bunch of things saved on Pinterest to refer to, but our rotation isn't very diverse.

At LEAST once a week my go-to is a very simple pasta with frozen chicken nuggets (rotini pasta with butter or evoo, garlic powder, Parmesan, and feta if I have it).

I keep frozen pizza and frozen breaded ravioli on hand (and a jar of marinara for dipping) for nights I really really don't want to cook.

I usually have something to make nachos or quesadillas on hand.

So meal planning consists of just 3 or 4 actual meals per week. The rest of the week is leftovers and/or the above mentioned lazy meals.

[Anonymous]

There are some real sanctimommies on this thread! Do none of you have kids with food issues or special needs kids? After 9 pages, I am astounded by how easy some of you seem to have it.

In our family of 4 we all have different dietary needs and other special needs that make a one meal fits all approach really tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This made me ponder my boomer working class childhood in the "meat, potatoes and a vegetable" era. My mom never worked full time but she always had some kind of part time work outside the house and there were 5 kids.
There was no thinking/planning required other than to remember to take meat out of the freezer. We always had a 50 lb burlap bag of potatoes in the basement, from age 7 or so it was my job to peel them. Boiled or mashed. Sometimes baked or fried. Leftover mashed potatoes became potato patties. Cook meat--burger patties or round steak usually or fried chicken, and my mom always made gravy. Open a can of peas, beans, carrots, or corn.

There was some variety like spaghetti some nights, or waffles, or fish (my brothers caught panfish a lot in the summer) something. But I just realized that routine approach had to have made the mental effort a lot easier, and no worries about ingredients on hand or not.

Some news thing I watched or read described an Italian family which has eaten the SAME MEAL (a stew of beans and vegetables and some meat) every night for decades and how healthy and long lived they all are.

How much of the expectation of variety a cultural or SES thing? Do families in Europe or Asia have to figure out what to make every damned day?

Wow what makes you think there was no thinking or planning involved?

My mom worked various part time shifts as a nurse. When she was home for dinner we had meat, canned vegetable or boiled potatoes, and salad (then and now, salad at my parents house is iceburg lettuce and low calorie Italian or low fat ranch). Occasionally a cheesy rice casserole thing or something. On her work nights she made some casserole for my dad to put in the oven. Occasionally my dad did hotdogs on our nights alone. He was actually a great weekend BBQ guy though. Like, he was on a team lol. Anyway, mom stressed about that meal planning every week, I remember.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some real sanctimommies on this thread! Do none of you have kids with food issues or special needs kids? After 9 pages, I am astounded by how easy some of you seem to have it.

In our family of 4 we all have different dietary needs and other special needs that make a one meal fits all approach really tough.

How does "you have it easy" equate to "you are a sanctimommy?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some real sanctimommies on this thread! Do none of you have kids with food issues or special needs kids? After 9 pages, I am astounded by how easy some of you seem to have it.

In our family of 4 we all have different dietary needs and other special needs that make a one meal fits all approach really tough.

There is actually no sanctimony on this thread except for the eating cereal for dinner is child abide moron. You may want to check yourself.

[Anonymous]

My boomer mom definitely had a weekly rotation of dinners. Sloppy joes on Monday and so on. Usually canned fruit for vitamins. This was 1995 or so.
I have a larger rotation and I use much less convenience food, so it is indeed more work, and I'm not a SAHM like she was. When she comes over to babysit and sees what I've made she always says some version of "Why do you make it so hard for yourself? You could have made XXX"
Our neighbor used to give us fish he'd caught every so often and she would make a fish chowder. That was my favorite meal of my entire childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delegate. Is there a significant other? They need to be in charge of dinner at least two or three nights a week. Are the kids 7 or older? Each one who is needs to cook one night a week.

Also, some families plan the weeks' dinners together, so everyone has input and understands it might not be their choice one night but it will be another night.

+1
And if someone complains they are responsible.

Why in the heck do you take this on?! You do this to yourself. Your ability to cook is not stored in your vagina or breaststroke. Whoever is the other responsible adult(s) in the house can also do this, especially if you also work and earn money. Drop the rope and look all confused when people ask you what's for dinner. Just say "what are you making" or "that's a great question. Who's making it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Is cereal fine for breakfast? What the hell’s the difference?

Uh, the timing of the day and blood sugar spike. Did you really ask the difference between breakfast and dinner? Were you raised in a barn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And there is no reason that your kids can’t handle dinner one day a week, once they are 12 or 14. Your husband could do one night and you can eat out or order out another.

NP. My kids know how to cook, but by 12 or 14, they’re never home on week nights in time to cook dinner… they’re at sports practices or other activities. I’m sure that’s true for many/most people.

OP, I know a couple who cooked meals for the whole week every Sunday.

Re-evaluate your schedule so a teen can set aside one night a week to make dinner. See research of the importance of family dinner and cut back just a bit on activities.

+1
OP os sacrificing too much and that's not fair. My teens cook 2 nights a week (1 each), my husband cooks 2 nights, I cook 2 nights, and we go out 1. We have a shared grocery list and shop Saturday or Sunday. I alternate the shopping with DH. He doesn’t Iike shopping and does online. I love browsing the aisles and do it in person. If someone doesn't get their stuff on the list, they must compensate, i.e., I don't take responsibility and save them. They learn responsibility and juggling, I am burden free.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered hiring a part time shopper or cook?

[Anonymous]

I've been cooking dinner every night for my wife and kids for the past 30 years. I enjoy it. I clean up and wash every thing and put everything away. I even do the groceries. Each of us does our own laundry, ironing, and cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been cooking dinner every night for my wife and kids for the past 30 years. I enjoy it. I clean up and wash every thing and put everything away. I even do the groceries. Each of us does our own laundry, ironing, and cleaning.

Good for you. Were you looking for an award or something on here??