I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.

[Anonymous]

No one in the DMV truly believes it’s all that important where your kids go to college.

If they did, they would leave the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.

+1000

Anyone who's in denial about the fact that where you go to college matters is just delusional. There was that study showing that the top 1% is disproportionately dominated by elite colleges.

Going to an elite college matters, full stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe that an recent immigrant or first generation family may genuinely believe that prestige matters because it's consistent with the overall "brand" of the American dream. However, it's simply incorrect. Upward mobility comes from a bit of educational success and a lot of professional and financial success. To echo the points of others, plenty of Ivy grads are sitting at desks and roaming in Target aisles next to folks who went to a perfectly mid-ranked state school. The key is what you learn, what opportunities you seize and what you do after school to build the foundation for your family.

I understand that this rocks the cliche assumption that East and South Asian families "demand" top education, but ultimately they would be better served focusing their finances and energy in other areas.

where you go matters, but so does the individual. You may end up at the same store walking around the aisles in the same store, but chances are, the person who did not go to a T10 took longer to make a lot or go farther in their career than the person who went to a T10.

Those top colleges have the network and alumni that can propel the recent grad faster and farther than from a T100.

FWIW, I went to like a T150.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.

+1000

Anyone who's in denial about the fact that where you go to college matters is just delusional. There was that study showing that the top 1% is disproportionately dominated by elite colleges.

Going to an elite college matters, full stop

pp here.. I want to add that I think it only matters if you want to achieve a certain level of success. If you don't care about that, then it doesn't matter so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one in the DMV truly believes it’s all that important where your kids go to college.

If they did, they would leave the DMV.

Its a great place for people who doesn't care about state schools because they are full pay or full aid and aim for high ranking private schools.

[Anonymous]

Speaking for myself here . . . I think we're wired to be anxious about these things. It feels like life and death, ensuring our offspring's survival, etc. So sometimes we need someone to say, "Actually, it's not life and death. Your life outcome is almost certainly going to be the same whether you go to a slightly more or less well-ranked school." We need to hear that and hear that others believe it too. It helps us move past the primal instinct part and view the situation more objectively.

[Anonymous]

I've dozens of South Asians in my circle, most parents want kids to attend nearby regional campuses of state school or wherever its free or cheap. Most of the kids aren't competitive for top schools anyways. These are all educated, professional and high income families. Only a small percentage is competitive for top schools but they understand that being Asians their odds are very low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am betting though that OP, the non immigrant POC lawyer, still has the bamboo ceiling and model minority bias to deal with, from their white elite Ivy league educated colleagues. But you still insist it doesn’t matter which college they attend.

If she's working with racists then an Ivy degree isn't going to change their low opinion of her. They'll just think she was a boring grade-grubber who crammed for all her tests and somehow cheated on the SAT and LSAT.

No, it doesn't matter what college you attend.

No true. Racists treat you differently if you've ivy degrees, family money or high level jobs.

[Anonymous]

It's funny when affluent whites use all sorts of tactics such as legacy, donation, sports, even bribery, to send their kids to high profile colleges, it's the American way and tradition.

When Asians families try to send their kids to the schools with merit, they say it doesn't matter, and ask why you do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny when affluent whites use all sorts of tactics such as legacy, donation, sports, even bribery, to send their kids to high profile colleges, it's the American way and tradition.

When Asians families try to send their kids to the schools with merit, they say it doesn't matter, and ask why you do that.

This^.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny when affluent whites use all sorts of tactics such as legacy, donation, sports, even bribery, to send their kids to high profile colleges, it's the American way and tradition.

When Asians families try to send their kids to the schools with merit, they say it doesn't matter, and ask why you do that.

I call them pandering hypocrites.

[Anonymous]

What they mean is that it doesn’t matter TO THEM where YOUR kid goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It matters to me. I want my child to experience a bigger world than the one she’s grown up in, and I hope she doesn’t come back to the suburbs. I never wanted to end up there but I did. Almost all of the people I know who went to state schools came back home and live boring 2.5 kids soccer lives. Maybe they’re happy. I think some of them are. But I think a lot of them just never thought any bigger. She doesn’t have to go to an Ivy League school. She wouldn’t get in. But I want her to go somewhere where she’s exposed to a lot of different people and has options to experience things she wouldn’t otherwise. And you can tell me that’s not true and give me examples but I see it all around me.

I'm dying. I live in DC in a very wealthy neighborhood--diplomats and world bank and us citizens--and everyone is living the 2.5 kid soccer life---event the Ivy grads and those that grew up abroad, etc. FWIW, a former President's kid used to play on my kid's sports' team. Foreign news correspondents kids as well.

Your child might be exposed to all of that stuff anyways and decides she prefers the suburban life. It's seems to go in cycles. I know so many suburban kids (self included) that never wanted to live in the suburbs raise their kids in the city or abroad, etc. and then their kid chooses the exact opposite life--they want acreage and quiet.

But, I will say I think your major is what matters. For certain majors, you need to be at a top 20 school to get employment. For engineering, etc., not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
At the same time, I believe it doesn't matter if my kid goes to the #30 ranked university vs. the #80.

Top100, even Top150+ doesn’t really matter unless you want to break into academia, consulting, big law, big tech right after graduation (otherwise, you will have to gain some serious work experience first and constantly expand your network). In order to land a regular Fortune500 job, you should be able to land a job with a Top150 degree… your major will be more important.