How much mortgage can we afford?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

Agree that trying to reduce expenses with that much in loans is really important. $722 for a car lease sounds high, but I don't know when OP and her husband got their lease and if interest rates were already high. It would be a shame if they were driving around in a BMW and not paying off loans/funding retirement/funding 529s.

Op here: it’s not a bmw, it’s a Toyota and we bought in 2021 because our 14 year old Camry ran into the ground.

WTH?!?! why are you paying $722/month on a Toyota. You have a family of 4. Another Camry would work just fine or a Rav4. You do not need/cannot afford a Highlander or more expensive at this point. And why lease? Buy a $35K vehicle and pay it off in 3 years then drive it into the ground for the next 10. You can't really afford to live the fancy life until you pay off your student loans. Do that and you will be financially sound.

Op here: you obviously aren’t in the car market at all. And I never said it’s a lease…I bought a Toyota Avalon car for $40k when the market was crazy because I needed a car and my 14 yr old Camry died.

But, clearly you couldn't afford a $40K car. Where is all your money going if you aren't paying off your loans/debt? How much is your rent.

You need to buy a cheap crummy house like the rest of us and focus on paying off that debt, regular savings and college savings.

Op here: my rent is $2,800. Utilities are $300. All monthly expenses are $4k

Then I personally would aim to spend that much on a mortgage every month if you buy a house. I personally wouldn’t spend more.

+1 At most, because with an older home (which $2800 will get you), you will have repairs and maintenance to pay for as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I posted earlier and hope you are still reading. A lot of these people don't realize that if you can find a mortgage that is equal to or less than your rent, then you are basically paying yourself every month. Costs will continue to rise and with 100k down payment and your DHs being a realtor, you should be able to find a deal. I am thrilled you are close to the end of the car payment, which can funnel intp 401k or a 529 when it is done.

Make a 5 year plan and stick to it. My dh and I were the PhDs upthread and we paid off all our debt except for our student loans and mortgage. Take it one step at a time and don't beat yourself up. You have done the best you could with the resources at hand.

Ummm...she has not "done the best you could with the resources at hand." That would have been using the last 5 years to pay down the student loan debt, pay off the car. The OP does not even know how much they spend monthly---she was off by a factor of 2.5 to 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

You know what else is expensive? IVF and adoption. I waited only 3 years after graduating law school to try for a kid, had one after a struggle, then was never able to have a second after much expensive fertility treatment. If I had a crystal ball, I would have started having kids exactly when OP did. You don't know her history, so don't pass judgment on her family planning choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

You know what else is expensive? IVF and adoption. I waited only 3 years after graduating law school to try for a kid, had one after a struggle, then was never able to have a second after much expensive fertility treatment. If I had a crystal ball, I would have started having kids exactly when OP did. You don't know her history, so don't pass judgment on her family planning choices.

+1
We now joke that our IVF kid cost us $200,000 but it wasn’t funny at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

You know what else is expensive? IVF and adoption. I waited only 3 years after graduating law school to try for a kid, had one after a struggle, then was never able to have a second after much expensive fertility treatment. If I had a crystal ball, I would have started having kids exactly when OP did. You don't know her history, so don't pass judgment on her family planning choices.

And my friend had 4 natural pregnancies from 37 to 45. We can share anecdotes all day. OP had her first at 29. Waiting until 31 wouldn’t have mattered. If she was infertile at 31, she was infertile at 29 too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

You know what else is expensive? IVF and adoption. I waited only 3 years after graduating law school to try for a kid, had one after a struggle, then was never able to have a second after much expensive fertility treatment. If I had a crystal ball, I would have started having kids exactly when OP did. You don't know her history, so don't pass judgment on her family planning choices.

If you feel the need to have kids earlier, then you adjust your lifestyle while kids are young and you have a SAHD and pay off the damn loans. You don't get to pick everything without some consequences. Your kids will appreciate if you get your finances in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

You know what else is expensive? IVF and adoption. I waited only 3 years after graduating law school to try for a kid, had one after a struggle, then was never able to have a second after much expensive fertility treatment. If I had a crystal ball, I would have started having kids exactly when OP did. You don't know her history, so don't pass judgment on her family planning choices.

And my friend had 4 natural pregnancies from 37 to 45. We can share anecdotes all day. OP had her first at 29. Waiting until 31 wouldn’t have mattered. If she was infertile at 31, she was infertile at 29 too.

+1
Law school is only 3 years. It's not Med school where you have 4 + 3or more years in residency. Waiting 2 years until 31 will not change things fertility wise, but it will change the entire rest of your life and your kid's lives if you can get a handle on the debt earlier

[Anonymous]

Look, what do I know, but it's coulda woulda shoulda on the old debt. That said - I would suggest OP turn a new leaf and think harder about amount of mortgage debt to take on now. I personally would aim to be able to put 20% down - but I don't know if that's too conservative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

You know what else is expensive? IVF and adoption. I waited only 3 years after graduating law school to try for a kid, had one after a struggle, then was never able to have a second after much expensive fertility treatment. If I had a crystal ball, I would have started having kids exactly when OP did. You don't know her history, so don't pass judgment on her family planning choices.

If you feel the need to have kids earlier, then you adjust your lifestyle while kids are young and you have a SAHD and pay off the damn loans. You don't get to pick everything without some consequences. Your kids will appreciate if you get your finances in order.

Absolutely agree that having kids earlier means changing your finances and lifestyle in a way that OP doesn't seem to have done. But it's clear that PPs don't have any experience with secondary infertility. Two years can absolutely make the difference, even in your early 30s. Had we waited two more years we would have never become parents and it's dumb luck that we had our one when we did.

Regardless, the issue is OP's financial priorities and inability to manage debt, not her fertility. I think we can all agree on that at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had student loans from DH's law degree we bought a cheap townhouse in a gentrifying area, and we didn't have any car or consumer loans. We drove an old sedan until the student debt was paid off.

750k is insane. Look for a condo or townhouse where your PITI costs are as close to rent as possible.

This. I cannot believe they have $50k (!!!) in car loans with that debt. I wouldn’t even do that with zero debt. The problem here is they rushed to have the kids and her DH doesn’t work. If they had waited a couple years to have kids after law school they could have eliminated the debt and saved some money before adding in kids. OP should absolutely rent something as cheap as possible until she gets those loans under control and for the love of God don’t have any more kids so DH can work the second the youngest hits school.

You know what else is expensive? IVF and adoption. I waited only 3 years after graduating law school to try for a kid, had one after a struggle, then was never able to have a second after much expensive fertility treatment. If I had a crystal ball, I would have started having kids exactly when OP did. You don't know her history, so don't pass judgment on her family planning choices.

If you feel the need to have kids earlier, then you adjust your lifestyle while kids are young and you have a SAHD and pay off the damn loans. You don't get to pick everything without some consequences. Your kids will appreciate if you get your finances in order.

This is what we did when DH finished law school and we wanted kids immediately. We just lived simply for a few years. It really wasn’t hard as we were focused on the kids and didn’t want to go anywhere or spend money anyway! (Except for baby necessities.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think given OPs responses this is a lost cause. She sounds financially illiterate and had an underemployed husband to boot. She took out outrageous loans and cannot event articulate her current expenses. Just another periods who will be crying about boomers next year and how UnFaIr oUr CaPitALiSt economy is.

You really think someone earning 300k 5 years out of law school is going to be bemoaning capitalism? You definitely have a heavy filter on when reading people's responses. They will be fine with a few more earning years--I just don't think they should rush into a house yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI - $300k
Student debt - $250k
Car debt and other debt -$50k
Retirement fund, IRAs and 401k balance- $170k
Monthly fixed expenses: $4k

How old are you and how much do you THINK you can afford given the stats you provided? Happy to answer your question and tell you my story if you share that info! I'm guessing I am about 10 years older than you.

Op here: we are 33 and 36. I think $750k mortgage should be OK. Please do share. TIA!

DH here who did a very different path than you, but I can help you our. I need to know your long term goals, financial and otherwise.

Barring that, no, a $750k mortgage is nuts. Especially at 6%. You will forever be a wage slave.

750k at 6% is 4500 then if you add tax and insurance and maintenance it might come out to 6k a month. If the already have 4000 in expenses that’ll be 10k/mo bills. They make 300k as a couple so that’s like 17k take home per month. They have $7000 leftover to save or spend on other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI - $300k
Student debt - $250k
Car debt and other debt -$50k
Retirement fund, IRAs and 401k balance- $170k
Monthly fixed expenses: $4k

How old are you and how much do you THINK you can afford given the stats you provided? Happy to answer your question and tell you my story if you share that info! I'm guessing I am about 10 years older than you.

Op here: we are 33 and 36. I think $750k mortgage should be OK. Please do share. TIA!

DH here who did a very different path than you, but I can help you our. I need to know your long term goals, financial and otherwise.

Barring that, no, a $750k mortgage is nuts. Especially at 6%. You will forever be a wage slave.

750k at 6% is 4500 then if you add tax and insurance and maintenance it might come out to 6k a month. If the already have 4000 in expenses that’ll be 10k/mo bills. They make 300k as a couple so that’s like 17k take home per month. They have $7000 leftover to save or spend on other things.

We established burn rate was $8K, so add that to $6K and you have $14K. That leaves $3K for savings/emergency fund, 529s, kids activities, and retirement. What I would do with that:
$500/savings
$1250/retirement
$1000/529s ($6K a year per kid)
$250/kids activities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think given OPs responses this is a lost cause. She sounds financially illiterate and had an underemployed husband to boot. She took out outrageous loans and cannot event articulate her current expenses. Just another periods who will be crying about boomers next year and how UnFaIr oUr CaPitALiSt economy is.

You really think someone earning 300k 5 years out of law school is going to be bemoaning capitalism? You definitely have a heavy filter on when reading people's responses. They will be fine with a few more earning years--I just don't think they should rush into a house yet.

Unless OP burns out/gets pushed out. A lot of things can happen in years 5-10 post law school. We've all seen it play out in various different ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI - $300k
Student debt - $250k
Car debt and other debt -$50k
Retirement fund, IRAs and 401k balance- $170k
Monthly fixed expenses: $4k

How old are you and how much do you THINK you can afford given the stats you provided? Happy to answer your question and tell you my story if you share that info! I'm guessing I am about 10 years older than you.

Op here: we are 33 and 36. I think $750k mortgage should be OK. Please do share. TIA!

DH here who did a very different path than you, but I can help you our. I need to know your long term goals, financial and otherwise.

Barring that, no, a $750k mortgage is nuts. Especially at 6%. You will forever be a wage slave.

750k at 6% is 4500 then if you add tax and insurance and maintenance it might come out to 6k a month. If the already have 4000 in expenses that’ll be 10k/mo bills. They make 300k as a couple so that’s like 17k take home per month. They have $7000 leftover to save or spend on other things.

$3K of that will go to the student loans for the next decade or more. They do not have that much left. Spending $6K on housing is a terrible idea