How can 1/3 teen girls be suicidal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.

Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.

Absentee parenting is not working for most children. Parents need to be the primary caregivers early on, not daycares and nannies.

I did all of the theoretical perfect mom stuff - stopped work to care for kids, volunteered in every class/ school, ran a girls scout troop, organized endless play dates, and social get togethers, organized nice birthday parties, volunteered with our DD - we were still Hammered by the Pandemic, reduced healthy social interactions during critical time in development and social media toxicity. Our DD is on better path now but it is requiring a lot of therapy, medical treatment, and finding healthier ways to manage emotions.

I agree with PPs that this crisis is way larger than any one person’s parenting style.

Finger pointing is not helpful and not accurate.

This isn’t pandemic related. Be real. Kids struggle. Parenting plays a huge factor in it. Recognizing your child is struggling and get them help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.

This is simply not true. Get out of your bubble.

You're completely out of touch with reality if you believe this isn't true.

A sample of reality:

https://www.esquire.com/uk/style/news/a5921/twitter-styles-test/

https://www.gq.com/story/inside-high-fashion-twitter

https://www.wsj.com/articles/elon-musk-twitter-feed-algorithm-menswear-guy-11674933231

https://sallauretta.com/mens-fashion-twitter-accounts/

Do you think these men are all secretly female?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.

Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.

Absentee parenting is not working for most children. Parents need to be the primary caregivers early on, not daycares and nannies.

I did all of the theoretical perfect mom stuff - stopped work to care for kids, volunteered in every class/ school, ran a girls scout troop, organized endless play dates, and social get togethers, organized nice birthday parties, volunteered with our DD - we were still Hammered by the Pandemic, reduced healthy social interactions during critical time in development and social media toxicity. Our DD is on better path now but it is requiring a lot of therapy, medical treatment, and finding healthier ways to manage emotions.

I agree with PPs that this crisis is way larger than any one person’s parenting style.

Finger pointing is not helpful and not accurate.

This isn’t pandemic related. Be real. Kids struggle. Parenting plays a huge factor in it. Recognizing your child is struggling and get them help.

Please point us in the direction of the mental health "help" that fixes everything in one or two appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It terrifies me that we “never see it coming.” WTF can we do with that? How does that help us now? Should we be grilling our kids about their mental health? What do we do??

You check in daily with your kids. Carve out 1-1 time with them regularly. Yes, you ask how they are doing, how they are feeling, is there anything you need to know, is there anything they need you to do for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/cdc-data-shows-u-s-teen-girls-in-crisis-with-unprecedented-rise-in-suicidal-behavior

Has anyone else seen all this new data? As a mother of a HS age daughter I am just not seeing this. I asked my daughter about it and she doesn’t personally know anyone who has admitted any sort of struggle. She of course knows tons of kids on meds for ADHD but that’s pretty normal these days.

I keep pretty close tabs on things so I’m wondering how I’m missing this, or what the difference is? Not saying DD never struggles but generally she enjoys school and her friends and has a positive outlook. Her friends all seem the same.

I just had a sandwich and am full. So there must not be starving people anywhere else. Come on, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.

Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.

Absentee parenting is not working for most children. Parents need to be the primary caregivers early on, not daycares and nannies.

I did all of the theoretical perfect mom stuff - stopped work to care for kids, volunteered in every class/ school, ran a girls scout troop, organized endless play dates, and social get togethers, organized nice birthday parties, volunteered with our DD - we were still Hammered by the Pandemic, reduced healthy social interactions during critical time in development and social media toxicity. Our DD is on better path now but it is requiring a lot of therapy, medical treatment, and finding healthier ways to manage emotions.

I agree with PPs that this crisis is way larger than any one person’s parenting style.

Finger pointing is not helpful and not accurate.

This isn’t pandemic related. Be real. Kids struggle. Parenting plays a huge factor in it. Recognizing your child is struggling and get them help.

Please point us in the direction of the mental health "help" that fixes everything in one or two appointments.

You aren’t getting it. There is no quick fix and these kids often did not get this way overnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social media + lack of religion + general degradation of human morality and basic decency towards others.

Sad state of the world we live in.

My religion teaches suicide is a sin. And teaches hope, and bringing your problems to God.

Keep religion out of this. It doesn't belong here. Religion has been a source of trauma and mental illness for many, many, MANY people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It terrifies me that we “never see it coming.” WTF can we do with that? How does that help us now? Should we be grilling our kids about their mental health? What do we do??

More resources for mental health nationwide are needed. The stigma, especially for adults in many professions, is unchanged. Lots of work needs to be done.

It is difficult and the hints, if any, may be really subtle. There are suicide prevention programs and classes that can be taken. I have. We all had lost people; friends, colleagues, relatives... and again, the common theme is, we did not see it coming. The course can open eyes about certain aspects a bit more. It teaches you the best way to talk to someone if you do catch a comment or get an "off" vibe. I recommend the Canadian program, google ASIST.

Be open as a parent to talk about this topic, especially if you have ever struggled yourself.

So true. Suicide needs to stop being the “unspeakable”. Fentanyl poisoning must be addressed. Experimentation is now a brush with potential instant death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.

Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.

There is no more pandemic and you are doing the blame game to shift responsibility from parents. You act like these are new issues and they aren’t. Get out of your bubble.

Moms, Dads, families are responsible for the children's environment and what they allow them to be exposed to, parents do not get a pass on this one, no way. But I get it, accountability is tough, even for adults who think they are f g perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media + lack of religion + general degradation of human morality and basic decency towards others.

Sad state of the world we live in.

My religion teaches suicide is a sin. And teaches hope, and bringing your problems to God.

Keep religion out of this. It doesn't belong here. Religion has been a source of trauma and mental illness for many, many, MANY people.

Not np. As religion has been a source of great strength for many, but your desire to sweep people's belief systems under the proverbial carpet is interesting and reflective on today's society and quite possibly, why our DD feel they have no where to turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media + lack of religion + general degradation of human morality and basic decency towards others.

Sad state of the world we live in.

My religion teaches suicide is a sin. And teaches hope, and bringing your problems to God.

Keep religion out of this. It doesn't belong here. Religion has been a source of trauma and mental illness for many, many, MANY people.

Not np. As religion has been a source of great strength for many, but your desire to sweep people's belief systems under the proverbial carpet is interesting and reflective on today's society and quite possibly, why our DD feel they have no where to turn.

DP - this is the truth. When every relationship has to stand for or against something, it is much more difficult to form meaningful connections. That's a big part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teenage neighbor committed suicide a few years ago, and having witnessed the unspeakable anguish that the parents have dealt with, and will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it breaks my heart that some would think it was their fault. This is so incredibly complex and intertwined with lots of factors. For people to just point fingers is not helpful.

Yes the finger pointing is shameful.

We need to try and understand what is going on and open up communication channels in honest ways that feel safe for our girls.

Blaming moms is nuts when it is connected to so much outside their control - pandemic, social media run in unregulated unscrupulous ways due to corporate greed, online misogyny and over sexualization of girls/ women resulting in more sexual assaults , and decline in real life safe spaces and social situations for girls/ young women.

There is no more pandemic and you are doing the blame game to shift responsibility from parents. You act like these are new issues and they aren’t. Get out of your bubble.

Moms, Dads, families are responsible for the children's environment and what they allow them to be exposed to, parents do not get a pass on this one, no way. But I get it, accountability is tough, even for adults who think they are f g perfect.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are the ones creating this environment for the kids.

You are the ones who create pressure to succeed academically, you are the ones who are too busy to drive them to meet up with friends, you are the ones who are creating rat race to the selective colleges.

All social media posts about beauty, expense clothing, designer houses are created by women. Men don’t post this crap.

So let’s take a hard look at ourselves.

TRUTH. Face it.

Yes to this, absolutely. And btw, throwing your ten year olds into your political viewpoints and shoving them down their throats instead of letting them grow into their own feelings about the world around them is ludicrous. I live in DC and I was shocked, severely shocked, by the number of angry elementary age girls both at the Women's March (you know which one I'm talking about) wearing pink pus.... hats and throwing their middle fingers up in anger in solidarity with older women. It was sickening, teaching them to be activists at this age, such a hard burden for them to live up to, and the anger on their little faces on the subway ride back to Bethesda, disheartening. I would never subject my daughter to something she was not emotionally ready for, I would not create that hate in her heart. I trust I can model a positive woman role for her without infusing her with my anger issues.

Really, the angry women trope? Pssst, just because women are out there protesting, and bringing their daughters and educating them, doesn't mean they are "angry" and certainly not angry for no reason. It's not creating "hate." It's educating them on their rights. It's speaking up. And FTR, the women at the Women's March are not and were not a monolith at the event or in society.

And surely, you understand that some people view teaching their girls to use their voices is a positive thing. And a positive role model. Just because your view of a female role model is rooted in the 1950's doesn't mean everyone's is. And I find your view on that point to be extremely sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media + lack of religion + general degradation of human morality and basic decency towards others.

Sad state of the world we live in.

My religion teaches suicide is a sin. And teaches hope, and bringing your problems to God.

Keep religion out of this. It doesn't belong here. Religion has been a source of trauma and mental illness for many, many, MANY people.

Not np. As religion has been a source of great strength for many, but your desire to sweep people's belief systems under the proverbial carpet is interesting and reflective on today's society and quite possibly, why our DD feel they have no where to turn.

Your kids should feel like they can go to you for anything. Fix your home/family first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media + lack of religion + general degradation of human morality and basic decency towards others.

Sad state of the world we live in.

My religion teaches suicide is a sin. And teaches hope, and bringing your problems to God.

Keep religion out of this. It doesn't belong here. Religion has been a source of trauma and mental illness for many, many, MANY people.

Not np. As religion has been a source of great strength for many, but your desire to sweep people's belief systems under the proverbial carpet is interesting and reflective on today's society and quite possibly, why our DD feel they have no where to turn.

I give exactly zero F's about your belief system. None. Zero. You are free to believe as you wish. And pass it on to YOUR kids. And I'm happy for your do that if you wish. But, Not mine. I come from a religious background so I am well aware of the stress, humiliation, and trauma that can come from that. So, it is not an option for a lot of people. I'd even say many, including women, gays, and anyone (which is most of us) who are deemed sinners according to dogma.

I find your desire to not acknowlege that and to put religion out there as accepting of the issues that our daughters are facing to be interesting, as well. Especially when we know it is, largely, not. And it's reflective of a certain demographic that tries to shove their religions down peoples throat and judge people who are not accepting of that as an option for them. Which is also interesting in that sort of attitude, including your post, is about as far from Jesus' teaching (and indeed many other deities as well). And which is a huge turnoff for many.