Existential crisis in downtown Bethesda

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, to help you with your existential crisis, let me share with you my favorite DCUM comment of all time.

In response to the question, "What's it like to live in downtown Bethesda, right off Wisconsin?"

"There’s a lot of crime. They’re attracted by all the kitchen design showrooms. Things haven’t been the same since Stromboli closed because that was a mob establishment that controlled all the corners so they kept the violence hidden. Now it’s a turf war. It’s a lot like The Wire, idk if you have seen that show but it is a good way to get a sense of downtown Bethesda."

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1047826.page

I love you for resurrecting this!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends and family members not from here (and across all incomes) observe the same thing about lack of independent shops and dining. They feel this area is devoid of character and is entirely charmless. I’m sharing this only to say that you are not the only person who feels this way. Perhaps Bethesda and the greater DC area is not the right spot for you.

OP:That's just it! It feels like a synthetic, Epcot Center generic version of an UMC neighborhood. Even Great Neck Long Island has more authenticity and local character. I do like the residential parts though, some of them. But it has been so humid and, well, swampy and mosquito-y here. I am really questioning its appeal.


Here is what I value: Education & at least some similarly educated and accomplished people; beautiful high quality housing; leafy neighborhoods where people and kids know each other; natural beauty, the outdoors, outdoor recreation like hiking, biking, skiing, swimming, sailing, horseback riding; the arts; high quality food which can mean restaurants but also farmer's markets with real farmers that are not more expensive than Whole Foods. Education has value. Making things has value. Making and listening to music have value. Entertaining indoors and outdoors with people I love and like talking to about things that matter (not just the latest status symbol who who stayed in what hotel on which vacation) have value. I am lucky in that my work is already lucrative and meaningful, and is portable. I do not care what type of car I or others drive or how big your engagement ring is/was and I have never attended a Spin class.

Where should I live?

Europe.

+1 I'm not trying to be snarky, I see a lot of myself in this particular post by OP (And I live near the site where OP is currently seated).

I've been pondering Stockholm, Cophenhangen, Toronto or possibly Dublin. I too have a portable skill and can work anywhere in the world where English is spoken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, and any one else that is reading.

Where you live is for stability, predictability, and a sense of calm. You go home knowing what you find there is not an exciting adventure, or some authentic exotic experience. How you feel about the corner coffee shop is how a man in Shanghai view his corner eatery, and how a person in Panama view his corner fruit stand. They are all boring and predictable.

People think they go on a trip to recharge. This is exactly backwards. You recharge at home and expend your energy on your travels.

Life is not just about where you live, but where you visit. Your home is the cocoon, so that when you return from that trip to Shanghai or Panama, you sink in to a comfortable familiarity, to build up your energy for your next adventure. So, yes, I miss the cafes in Europe, I miss the hot springs in the mountains of Japan, but my mind can be on autopilot when I walk into the Starbucks so that I can save my attention for something else.

I think I love you.

I also love this PP and if I was any good at cross stitching, I'd put put this post on a wall hanging so I could read it every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. I've owned a home in Bethesda for more than 10 years and can't stand the drivers, those people or those stores. However, I'm here for the wonderful public schools (our kids are in the Whitman cluster), the beautiful tree lined streets, our non-McMansion colonial, the convenience of being able to walk to downtown Bethesda, the joy of biking the Capitol Crescent Trail, and living inside the Beltway. I love being able to drive to Pennsylvania ski slopes in 90 minutes, the Delaware beaches in 2-3 hours, and every major airport in under an hour. I love Gringos and Mariachis. I love Pesca Deli. I love Landmark Cinemas. I love the Bethesda Central Farmers Market. Do I wish there was more authenticity? Absolutely. I'd love a good, local craft brewery. I'm looking forward to Salt Line coming to Bethesda. I don't buy $5+ coffee - I grind mine at home from Major Dickasons from Costco. I realize I live in a bubble and am surrounded by plenty of unhappy middle aged SAHMs with their Soul(less) Cycle and Pure Barre classes. I avoid those and those social climbing types like the plague. However, there are plenty of good, down to earth, educated families in Bethesda - you just need to find your people and avoid/ignore the rest. I also don't think this issue is unique to Bethesda.

LOL. "Wonderful public schools" means rich white people and no dirty poor people. And it's "2-3" hours any time that matters only if you have a helicopter.

Yawn. Why do you think people move to places like Bethesda? There's plenty of diversity btw. It's just diversity within the UMC (i.e., children of diplomats, UMC POCs, etc.). And yes, we don't want to deal with the problems of poverty and crime - hence, why people cluster in these areas.

LOL that's not diversity. That's a bubble.

NP here who lives in an even more expensive area, in DC. I'm not at all embarrassed to say I don't like living anywhere near concentrated poverty (like, say, Ward 8 or parts of Germantown or pockets or Arlandria). I'll say it anonymously and I'll say it in person and repeat myself slowly if a listener can't believe I just said the quiet part out loud.

How did we ever got to a place where you have to prove your liberal bonafides by announcing that you enjoy [quoting above directly ^^] living near "dirty" people or a critical mass of poor people.

[Anonymous]

OP should move to Ashburn. Much more charm.

[Anonymous]

There's two Bethesdas. Bethesda Row is a lot of upscale boutiques. Then there's "old" Bethesda by Woodmont Triangle. Mostly local places, local landlords, and a much different charm. I pretty much spend my time in old Bethesda. Better bar and restaurant scene. I'll actualy be going there later today to my local bank, then to my local hair stylist. We always have a good chat about the local businesses since she knows the other business owners in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I grew up in the Bethesda sphere, and I will say that this is why we no longer live in Bethesda. When I was a kid Bethesda was actually kinda charming and homey despite the lack of historic charm. Case in point - used to have stuff like a skate shop right on Bethesda row where lululemon is (anyone OG's here Evolve Skateshop, and then Asylum Wake Skate Snow?), which is something you wouldn't see today. Same with the army surplus store where as boys used to buy airsoft guns and other odd stuff. Now it is very corporate and soulless feeling as you've touched on.

We moved to NoVa because MoCo lost its luster imo. The MoCo folks here will point out correctly that NoVa has plenty of soulless places, but let me give you a secret - one of DC's best kept secret gems is Alexandria. Del Ray, Fort Hunt, Mount Vernon, Belle Haven, and of course the crown Jewel Old Town. Some chains but largely dominated by local small businesses - just cruise down king street or mt vernon ave and you will see.

So true. We recently bought a property in Del Ray for DD and SIL to rent from us (they're not ready to buy) and we are really glad we did. It's such a nice place for them to live. It has a real small town feel and no chain stores whatsoever. I could see us ending up there some day as well. But Bethesda? Never.

Isn't Alexandria going to be underwater with climate change? I love it but it's one of the most at risk areas in the DMV. No thanks.

LOL no. Nice try, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I grew up in the Bethesda sphere, and I will say that this is why we no longer live in Bethesda. When I was a kid Bethesda was actually kinda charming and homey despite the lack of historic charm. Case in point - used to have stuff like a skate shop right on Bethesda row where lululemon is (anyone OG's here Evolve Skateshop, and then Asylum Wake Skate Snow?), which is something you wouldn't see today. Same with the army surplus store where as boys used to buy airsoft guns and other odd stuff. Now it is very corporate and soulless feeling as you've touched on.

We moved to NoVa because MoCo lost its luster imo. The MoCo folks here will point out correctly that NoVa has plenty of soulless places, but let me give you a secret - one of DC's best kept secret gems is Alexandria. Del Ray, Fort Hunt, Mount Vernon, Belle Haven, and of course the crown Jewel Old Town. Some chains but largely dominated by local small businesses - just cruise down king street or mt vernon ave and you will see.

It's stupid imo to get into an argument about whether Bethesda has "soul" or less "soul" than Del Ray but I would just point out that Bethesda has a skate shop-- it's just not on Bethesda Row (like most of the smaller owned businesses Bethesda). It's too bad the army navy surplus shut down but it was a victim of a development project that has not gotten off the ground. There are still thrift shops in Bethesda and plenty of non-"corporate" stores as long as your conception of "Bethesda" extends beyond Bethesda Row.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends and family members not from here (and across all incomes) observe the same thing about lack of independent shops and dining. They feel this area is devoid of character and is entirely charmless. I’m sharing this only to say that you are not the only person who feels this way. Perhaps Bethesda and the greater DC area is not the right spot for you.

OP:That's just it! It feels like a synthetic, Epcot Center generic version of an UMC neighborhood. Even Great Neck Long Island has more authenticity and local character. I do like the residential parts though, some of them. But it has been so humid and, well, swampy and mosquito-y here. I am really questioning its appeal.


Here is what I value: Education & at least some similarly educated and accomplished people; beautiful high quality housing; leafy neighborhoods where people and kids know each other; natural beauty, the outdoors, outdoor recreation like hiking, biking, skiing, swimming, sailing, horseback riding; the arts; high quality food which can mean restaurants but also farmer's markets with real farmers that are not more expensive than Whole Foods. Education has value. Making things has value. Making and listening to music have value. Entertaining indoors and outdoors with people I love and like talking to about things that matter (not just the latest status symbol who who stayed in what hotel on which vacation) have value. I am lucky in that my work is already lucrative and meaningful, and is portable. I do not care what type of car I or others drive or how big your engagement ring is/was and I have never attended a Spin class.

Where should I live?

Europe.

+1 I'm not trying to be snarky, I see a lot of myself in this particular post by OP (And I live near the site where OP is currently seated).

I've been pondering Stockholm, Cophenhangen, Toronto or possibly Dublin. I too have a portable skill and can work anywhere in the world where English is spoken.

Another arrogant American who assumes that every country on earth wants her to live there and will allow her to work there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I grew up in the Bethesda sphere, and I will say that this is why we no longer live in Bethesda. When I was a kid Bethesda was actually kinda charming and homey despite the lack of historic charm. Case in point - used to have stuff like a skate shop right on Bethesda row where lululemon is (anyone OG's here Evolve Skateshop, and then Asylum Wake Skate Snow?), which is something you wouldn't see today. Same with the army surplus store where as boys used to buy airsoft guns and other odd stuff. Now it is very corporate and soulless feeling as you've touched on.

We moved to NoVa because MoCo lost its luster imo. The MoCo folks here will point out correctly that NoVa has plenty of soulless places, but let me give you a secret - one of DC's best kept secret gems is Alexandria. Del Ray, Fort Hunt, Mount Vernon, Belle Haven, and of course the crown Jewel Old Town. Some chains but largely dominated by local small businesses - just cruise down king street or mt vernon ave and you will see.

It's stupid imo to get into an argument about whether Bethesda has "soul" or less "soul" than Del Ray but I would just point out that Bethesda has a skate shop-- it's just not on Bethesda Row (like most of the smaller owned businesses Bethesda). It's too bad the army navy surplus shut down but it was a victim of a development project that has not gotten off the ground. There are still thrift shops in Bethesda and plenty of non-"corporate" stores as long as your conception of "Bethesda" extends beyond Bethesda Row.

Del Ray >>> Bethesda. The vibes are very, very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends and family members not from here (and across all incomes) observe the same thing about lack of independent shops and dining. They feel this area is devoid of character and is entirely charmless. I’m sharing this only to say that you are not the only person who feels this way. Perhaps Bethesda and the greater DC area is not the right spot for you.

OP:That's just it! It feels like a synthetic, Epcot Center generic version of an UMC neighborhood. Even Great Neck Long Island has more authenticity and local character. I do like the residential parts though, some of them. But it has been so humid and, well, swampy and mosquito-y here. I am really questioning its appeal.


Here is what I value: Education & at least some similarly educated and accomplished people; beautiful high quality housing; leafy neighborhoods where people and kids know each other; natural beauty, the outdoors, outdoor recreation like hiking, biking, skiing, swimming, sailing, horseback riding; the arts; high quality food which can mean restaurants but also farmer's markets with real farmers that are not more expensive than Whole Foods. Education has value. Making things has value. Making and listening to music have value. Entertaining indoors and outdoors with people I love and like talking to about things that matter (not just the latest status symbol who who stayed in what hotel on which vacation) have value. I am lucky in that my work is already lucrative and meaningful, and is portable. I do not care what type of car I or others drive or how big your engagement ring is/was and I have never attended a Spin class.

Where should I live?

Europe.

+1 I'm not trying to be snarky, I see a lot of myself in this particular post by OP (And I live near the site where OP is currently seated).

I've been pondering Stockholm, Cophenhangen, Toronto or possibly Dublin. I too have a portable skill and can work anywhere in the world where English is spoken.

Another arrogant American who assumes that every country on earth wants her to live there and will allow her to work there.

You say that without knowing my skill set (PP here). They will, indeed, "allow [me] to work there." With the attendant work visa. I'm sorry this upsets you.

I'm also thinking about Ghana and Botswana for my next chapter. The Lululemon quotient there is low, I'm told.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sitting in downtown Bethesda on a Sunday afternoon, sipping my $5.50 iced coffee. I am looking around me at these three blocks of fancy chain stores, that are just like the fancy chain stores in the analagous parts of other upscale suburbs, and watching people pop in and out like automatons. It seems so pointless and empty. Is this what it's all for? Strive to live in a HCOL area and make a big enough salary to live there so you can go disburse your dollars among certain branded storefronts as if you are robot operating on preprogrammed instructions thinking that you "belong"?

As I got my coffee I witnessed a middle aged UMC (white) woman haranguing the (black) barista for ten minutes about how dishonest they and the business are for putting too much ice in her iced juice drink & how they are defrauding customers by putting in too much ice and not enough juice. Seriously? Work all your life for the privilege of raising your kids around people like this?

If you have the money to live in Downtown Bethesda, you have the money to move elsewhere. So go live there. We live in Kentlands and, while there are certainly chain stores, there are also small businesses.

We are regulars at Vasili’s and are thrilled that the former front of the house manager there recently opened a photography cafe. It’s become a great little hub for community activity. We have small businesses popping up all over Kentlands. The Kentlands and Lakelands community foundations do a great job also facilitating community events.

Point being: if you want more of a small-town feel, you can get it. Just not in downtown Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I grew up in the Bethesda sphere, and I will say that this is why we no longer live in Bethesda. When I was a kid Bethesda was actually kinda charming and homey despite the lack of historic charm. Case in point - used to have stuff like a skate shop right on Bethesda row where lululemon is (anyone OG's here Evolve Skateshop, and then Asylum Wake Skate Snow?), which is something you wouldn't see today. Same with the army surplus store where as boys used to buy airsoft guns and other odd stuff. Now it is very corporate and soulless feeling as you've touched on.

We moved to NoVa because MoCo lost its luster imo. The MoCo folks here will point out correctly that NoVa has plenty of soulless places, but let me give you a secret - one of DC's best kept secret gems is Alexandria. Del Ray, Fort Hunt, Mount Vernon, Belle Haven, and of course the crown Jewel Old Town. Some chains but largely dominated by local small businesses - just cruise down king street or mt vernon ave and you will see.

So true. We recently bought a property in Del Ray for DD and SIL to rent from us (they're not ready to buy) and we are really glad we did. It's such a nice place for them to live. It has a real small town feel and no chain stores whatsoever. I could see us ending up there some day as well. But Bethesda? Never.

Isn't Alexandria going to be underwater with climate change? I love it but it's one of the most at risk areas in the DMV. No thanks.

In the same sentence you asked a question, and then proceeded to "answer" it for yourself and say no thanks to the entirety of all of Alexandria. Lol.

Anyways for those who would actually like to know, there are many, many neighborhoods in Alexandria that are not in any sort of flood zone and are close to the local business galore Old Town and Del Ray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends and family members not from here (and across all incomes) observe the same thing about lack of independent shops and dining. They feel this area is devoid of character and is entirely charmless. I’m sharing this only to say that you are not the only person who feels this way. Perhaps Bethesda and the greater DC area is not the right spot for you.

OP:That's just it! It feels like a synthetic, Epcot Center generic version of an UMC neighborhood. Even Great Neck Long Island has more authenticity and local character. I do like the residential parts though, some of them. But it has been so humid and, well, swampy and mosquito-y here. I am really questioning its appeal.


Here is what I value: Education & at least some similarly educated and accomplished people; beautiful high quality housing; leafy neighborhoods where people and kids know each other; natural beauty, the outdoors, outdoor recreation like hiking, biking, skiing, swimming, sailing, horseback riding; the arts; high quality food which can mean restaurants but also farmer's markets with real farmers that are not more expensive than Whole Foods. Education has value. Making things has value. Making and listening to music have value. Entertaining indoors and outdoors with people I love and like talking to about things that matter (not just the latest status symbol who who stayed in what hotel on which vacation) have value. I am lucky in that my work is already lucrative and meaningful, and is portable. I do not care what type of car I or others drive or how big your engagement ring is/was and I have never attended a Spin class.

Where should I live?

Europe.

+1 I'm not trying to be snarky, I see a lot of myself in this particular post by OP (And I live near the site where OP is currently seated).

I've been pondering Stockholm, Cophenhangen, Toronto or possibly Dublin. I too have a portable skill and can work anywhere in the world where English is spoken.

Another arrogant American who assumes that every country on earth wants her to live there and will allow her to work there.

You say that without knowing my skill set (PP here). They will, indeed, "allow [me] to work there." With the attendant work visa. I'm sorry this upsets you.

I'm also thinking about Ghana and Botswana for my next chapter. The Lululemon quotient there is low, I'm told.

You're all talk. But that's ok -- it's the internet. I 100 percent guarantee that you ain't going anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find Bethesda stores all that. They seem to cater to people who have more money than sense.

No, I am not jealous. I used to live in the Bay Area that is waay more expensive than Bethesda.

OP here and I agree, these stores all all generic storefront outposts of businesses that are ubiquitous online. There is not a speck of individuality, originality, uniqueness or creativity among them. They are just uniform stores for an UMC tax bracket.

The problem is people don’t shop at cute, independent stores. So, the market responds.

It’s a beautiful day. I love having a cold coffee and watching the world go by. So many families and connections. I’m not a shopper, and I certainly get down. But, you’ll always find what you’re looking for.

People don’t shop at independent stores? The Blue House is probably the most popular shop in Bethesda, across from that famous independently owned Bethesda Diner.