Anxious about graduation party expectations

[Anonymous]

Parent of a HS senior. Beginning to get invitations to graduation parties for all of DD’s friends. Public school, in an area that’s affluent but not ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

What is the question exactly?

[Anonymous]

Why are you anxious? Go enjoy the parties. Ask your kid if you should plan one. If kid wants one, keep it simple and casual or fancy - whatever you want. You don’t have to do one though.

[Anonymous]

So anxious, in fact, that I hit submit well before I finished my post. Sigh. Sorry.

At any rate, we are starting to get invites. Some are addressed to DD, some invite the whole family. Many Evite guest lists have upwards of 100 people attending. Many invites are joint parties for several grads.

1. DD does not have anyone to have a party with. “I asked around, and everyone already has made plans.”

2. We were planning to have something, but I was thinking burgers, dogs and chips for 30 kids. Not a soirée for 70 grads and their parents.

3. If DD goes to a party alone, does she bring a gift? Assuming everyone is hosting and attending the same set of parties, this feels ridiculous.

I’m anxious about the social stuff, the money stuff, and the planning stuff. Help a stressed mom out, please!

[Anonymous]

Are you anxious about your own child’s graduation party or attending others’ parties? You know you don’t have to go to any, just send some $$ for relatives and close friends. For our own kid’s graduation last year, we just went out to dinner with close family. We didn’t throw a party. Close friends and relatives sent money gifts to our kid.

[Anonymous]

My son graduated last year. He took gifts to all of the parties he attended.

Burgers, hot dogs, etc are fine. Be yourself, OP. It’s not a competition.

[Anonymous]

How much do people spend on graduation party gifts from one teenager to another?

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP whose son graduated last year. He took a $50 bill and a card to each of the parties he attended. I’d say that the gifts he received from his friends during his party ranged in value from $25 to $50.

[Anonymous]

Take a card with $20/$25 cash to each party, if she knows them well she might want to add a small gift like a picture. Don’t feel like the gift is most important, people want to spend time together before college. Gifts are nice but secondary. I’d say people spend $20-$100, more for family.

As for your own party do whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be some big over the top thing. Even 10 friends hanging out with a bonfire in the backyard is fine. Just don’t forget the s’mores and those things that change the fire different colors.

[Anonymous]

I don't have any advice, but I 100% understand your anxiety. I would feel the same way with so many invites coming out. I find having to go to so many parties very stressful (and of course hosting one is stressful too).

[Anonymous]

I get your anxiety, I missed this entirely with my first ( 2020 covid grad). What I have noticed in our town though is that it seems like a relatively small percent of kids have parties. It would be impossible otherwise , if everyone was having parties in the 2-3 week stretch around graduation there would be nobody to go to the parties! And I did go to one a few years back that clearly anticipated a much larger crowd than they hit and I felt bad for the hosts they worked so hard to create something nice and just didn’t have many folks there. All to say - it’s okay to just be a party goer, you don’t also have to be a party thrower if you don’t want to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much do people spend on graduation party gifts from one teenager to another?

We spent exactly 0$. No one we know gives grad presents to one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get your anxiety, I missed this entirely with my first ( 2020 covid grad). What I have noticed in our town though is that it seems like a relatively small percent of kids have parties. It would be impossible otherwise , if everyone was having parties in the 2-3 week stretch around graduation there would be nobody to go to the parties! And I did go to one a few years back that clearly anticipated a much larger crowd than they hit and I felt bad for the hosts they worked so hard to create something nice and just didn’t have many folks there. All to say - it’s okay to just be a party goer, you don’t also have to be a party thrower if you don’t want to

+1
My kids attended several grad parties of friends, but we didn't have a party for them. Instead, we just went out to dinner as a family, and they were fine with that. Far fewer kids have parties than those that do.

[Anonymous]

We didn't organize any party last year for my graduate. We celebrated at home with a family we're best friends with, and their kid. 7 of us in all.

Years ago, a neighbor invited us to a backyard barbecue graduation party for their kid. I think we gave $50. About 30 people, all very simple and laid-back.

Most people don't have huge parties, OP. You just notice those more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get your anxiety, I missed this entirely with my first ( 2020 covid grad). What I have noticed in our town though is that it seems like a relatively small percent of kids have parties. It would be impossible otherwise , if everyone was having parties in the 2-3 week stretch around graduation there would be nobody to go to the parties! And I did go to one a few years back that clearly anticipated a much larger crowd than they hit and I felt bad for the hosts they worked so hard to create something nice and just didn’t have many folks there. All to say - it’s okay to just be a party goer, you don’t also have to be a party thrower if you don’t want to

+1
My kids attended several grad parties of friends, but we didn't have a party for them. Instead, we just went out to dinner as a family, and they were fine with that. Far fewer kids have parties than those that do.

Going out to dinner with family is our plan as well.