Help me help DD survive a really grouchy teacher

[Anonymous]

She’s made DD13 life miserable this year. Unfortunately, she got stuck with her for both semesters for a core class. We tried to swap teachers but it was a no-go. Honestly, we went to parent night and could tell right away she would be trouble. She was bad-tempered even to her dad and me! In all these years, this is the first teacher who has had issue with DD. I don’t think she’s perfect or anything like that, but it just strikes me as odd that with six hours and six different teachers, only one has so much negative to say. DD says she’s sort of like this with everyone, but feels like she’s picked on more for some reason. I understand it’s a part of life that you have to learn to deal with difficult people. But I’m still her mom and I still feel bad. How can I help her survive the next 1.5 months?

[Anonymous]

What exactly is the issue OP?

More than grouchy?

Is it grading?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s made DD13 life miserable this year. Unfortunately, she got stuck with her for both semesters for a core class. We tried to swap teachers but it was a no-go. Honestly, we went to parent night and could tell right away she would be trouble. She was bad-tempered even to her dad and me! In all these years, this is the first teacher who has had issue with DD. I don’t think she’s perfect or anything like that, but it just strikes me as odd that with six hours and six different teachers, only one has so much negative to say. DD says she’s sort of like this with everyone, but feels like she’s picked on more for some reason. I understand it’s a part of life that you have to learn to deal with difficult people. But I’m still her mom and I still feel bad. How can I help her survive the next 1.5 months?

OP this is all pretty vague, you have to admit. Maybe give some details.

[Anonymous]

We can’t help her. Everyone has crappy teachers, trust me. It is part of middle school and high school life. Tell her this, and tell her she’ll have many more so get used to it. Try to get on their good side. If it’s impossible, just grin and bear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the issue OP?

More than grouchy?

Is it grading?

It’s a lot.

She’s older and old-fashioned, strict, stern. Shouldn’t be teaching middle school, for sure.

I think she has confusion with online assignments. She will apparently get on kids about turning in assignments, and then gets mad when the kids SHOW HER they were already turned in, with timestamps! Then she deems those kids disrespectful. She’s also really slow in grading and will get on kids about their grades when she hasn’t even graded all their assignments to bring up their individual grades. I hope that makes sense. I think it’s just time to retire and she’s taking it out on the kids.

[Anonymous]

Oh mom, you are in for a treat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh mom, you are in for a treat

Right. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

My advice is she's lucky to have gone this long without a bad teacher, she's in the home stretch now, just do what she knows the teacher wants even if it's ridiculous, and be VERY well-behaved. If she's made it 8 months she can make it 1.5 more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is she's lucky to have gone this long without a bad teacher, she's in the home stretch now, just do what she knows the teacher wants even if it's ridiculous, and be VERY well-behaved. If she's made it 8 months she can make it 1.5 more.

You’re so right. She just started the last quarter of the year so I guess it’s feeling daunting. Today DD asked for help and apparently she asked her if she needed psychological help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice is she's lucky to have gone this long without a bad teacher, she's in the home stretch now, just do what she knows the teacher wants even if it's ridiculous, and be VERY well-behaved. If she's made it 8 months she can make it 1.5 more.

You’re so right. She just started the last quarter of the year so I guess it’s feeling daunting. Today DD asked for help and apparently she asked her if she needed psychological help.

This seems… unacceptable. Have you contacted the principal?

[Anonymous]

Say specific things to the principal that are fact-based in a very kind and neutral tone. You should have done that 8 months ago.

Ms. Grumpy mistakenly thinks assignments have not been turned on time and here is the impact.
Ms. Grumpy does not grade assignments timely and here is the impact.
Ms. Grumpy asked my child if she needed psychological help.

Tell your kid they need to adapt and deal but also advocate for them if it's someone who is not doing their job and inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is she's lucky to have gone this long without a bad teacher, she's in the home stretch now, just do what she knows the teacher wants even if it's ridiculous, and be VERY well-behaved. If she's made it 8 months she can make it 1.5 more.

+1

Students can either keep going to their parents for advice, or they can bond with their classmates over war stories. They can either become anxious or bitter, or develop a sense of humor and learn how to look at the big picture. As her parent, help her keep the big picture in mind (it's middle school, not an AP class and she doesn't need this teacher's recommendation for college) and make sure she laughs about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice is she's lucky to have gone this long without a bad teacher, she's in the home stretch now, just do what she knows the teacher wants even if it's ridiculous, and be VERY well-behaved. If she's made it 8 months she can make it 1.5 more.

You’re so right. She just started the last quarter of the year so I guess it’s feeling daunting. Today DD asked for help and apparently she asked her if she needed psychological help.

This seems… unacceptable. Have you contacted the principal?

Have you heard about the current teacher shortage?

[Anonymous]

When my son was in a similar situation, I told him to just do the bare minimum and try to fly under the teacher’s radar. That particular grade for this class did not matter. Of course, I could say that to him because I know he isn’t the type to super slack off or be disrespectful, but I think it’s OK to be candid with a kid and say “some people will never be happy” or that not everyone is good at their jobs. FWIW I am an elementary teacher so I respect the profession (and know some duds)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the issue OP?

More than grouchy?

Is it grading?

It’s a lot.

She’s older and old-fashioned, strict, stern. Shouldn’t be teaching middle school, for sure.

I think she has confusion with online assignments. She will apparently get on kids about turning in assignments, and then gets mad when the kids SHOW HER they were already turned in, with timestamps! Then she deems those kids disrespectful. She’s also really slow in grading and will get on kids about their grades when she hasn’t even graded all their assignments to bring up their individual grades. I hope that makes sense. I think it’s just time to retire and she’s taking it out on the kids.

Ok so you don't handle this your student does.

Every time they turn in something they record it somewhere and take a screenshot of their work to keep a copy. Or copy at home, keeping records is important in a case like this. And teaches your student that whether it is school or work sometimes people are difficult and it's good to keep records of your work.

If the teacher persists then take that to the counselor first if a teacher gets worse then you go with your student to the VP and the class is changed.

Rare to change out a teacher but sometimes it is necessary.